Hello, currently im with girl who the past couple of week ive noticed how manipulative, selfish, controlling, sneaky, angry(blames it on pnd, which she did have around 3 mos ago and i helped her 100% ) etc. Everything was fine until i got so stressed the other week and noticed the way she was trying to control me and my life! using our son as an excuse to do basically everything, i noticed this and her other ways we obviosly argued and argued . When i finally thought i was getting through to her she'd flip another one on me..making it out as if i was the one who caused this rift, taking no responsiblity for her own action. Don't want a broken family but i dont think i can take more of her negativity and emotional abuse, she has had a history of depression since she was 14 and i knew that.We wherent together till our son was born...we dated for 3 mos 2 yr ago and split. She always wanted us to get back and i stupidly slept with her a few times and next thing shes preg(accident?).....
2007-06-06 13:36:42 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It sounds like you are ready to go but your concern is for your child. The age old thing is that if you are not in love with your partner the kid can feel the negative vibe/energy/emotions in the house and it causes the kid to grow up in a negative environment.
The problem is, is that the majority of cases like this can't be fixed unless counseling or the like is initiated, thatr may be one option.
As one person said...it could be a bump in the road but i doubt it from what you've said and if you can't play nice together, then..... it is probably over so you got to take responsibility for the kid and go. But it is not only better for you but also the child if all that negativity diminishes. He'll grow up happier.
2007-06-06 13:54:43 · answer #1 · answered by Xavie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your story is very sad and also a great advertisement for condoms. You cant blame her for the fact that you got her pregnant when you didn't have much of a relationship to begin with. As your child bonds you together for life I would seek couple counselling to find a way to get on even if you cant be together. No one deserves to have to put up with abuse so let her know again how you see the situation and tell her she needs to sort her behaviour out or the relationship is doomed to failure. Maybe she is still depressed but this is no excuse for manipulative, controlling behaviour.
I dont think it would be a good idea for a child to grow up witnessing a relationship where abuse and rows are the norm. Neither is it a good idea to leave a child with an abuser. Sorry about your situation and hope things work out whatver you decide. And also spread the word...use a condom or dont sleep with women you are not willing to have a child with.
2007-06-06 15:53:02 · answer #2 · answered by Stella 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you stupidly slept with her...hmmmmmmmmmmm...you weren't saying that when you were dipping it though, was you? your girl is prolly depressed because of your attitude, and yes...go on blame it on PND....she may still have it for all you know....you should have thought about the repercussions before bedding her again....silly you eh?....suffer the consequences and live with it...if not stop whining and leave...you know she has a history of depression and you moaning about it is not gonna help...try seeing things her way for a change...it's not her being sneaky and controlling, it's you, if you were a genuine guy, you would not be putting your message in here without her knowing, you'd deal with it like a man instead....it takes a hell of alot longer than 6 months to battle PND....but your so wrapped up in your own self pity that you don't even realise she is still suffering....and i hope to god that your child never hears that he was an accident....if you cant handle it...do the poor girl a favour and leave....
2007-06-06 19:14:38 · answer #3 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any relationship between two people is hard add a child to the mix and it just gets harder. After being married for over 25 years the key is communication, and as a hint it does not hurt to at the same time be best friends, because you can tel, understand, and forgive a best friend more than anyone else. Work on your communication and friendship it will only increase your love
2007-06-06 13:53:00 · answer #4 · answered by Pengy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let your child be the reason you are unhappy.I did that with my kids dad and I was so sad.He use to tell me if I left he is going to take the baby and I would get scared because my child needs me. Well the end up is I have both of our kids and he is somewhere in KY.
You can be a weekend dad you may not want to be but you have to think how is this helping me. Besides your child is going to be unhappy because of all the fighting.You really should think hard and long about this but I would leave if I was you......GOOD LUCK!
2007-06-06 13:57:25 · answer #5 · answered by Mary M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like someone else just typed, think of your child, if the person is bad enough may abuse the child, do what you feel is right but i believe that it may be that she doesn't feel ready for a child yet, so take the time to talk to her for the sake of your son if she gets worse after you talk to her go to a family specialist or other medical professional . I hope this helps, if this doesn't work talk to your family or close friends about this, as they may have better advice. Good luck on your relationship and parenting life.
2007-06-06 13:54:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh dear, not a good situation for you to be in, your child is very young, maybe your girlfriend feels like bieng a mother isnt what she expected, and there is a lot more hard work and dealing with poop than she was ready for, my advice would be to try and get her to see her doctor, it does sound like post natal depression, which can be treated very succesfully, she will be feeling very bad about herself, and is taking it out on you, you must find a quiet moment when she isnt trying to kill you, sit her down and discuss the situation, tell her she is driving you away, but you really want to help, if she helps herself by seeing her doctor, listen to her point of view as well, she is trying to control your life because she feels insecure, and with a small baby to care for very vulnerable as well, listen to her, take her to the doctor, and good luck!
2007-06-06 14:24:06 · answer #7 · answered by magpyre 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well any relationship is hard maybe you are just going through a bump in the road.
when you are together you have to do things or not do things you want to do. that is always part of it. If you are mad talk calmly about the problems and try to find a way to work them out.
good luck
2007-06-06 13:42:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
its not good if you dont love her leave her alone just try to be there for the baby,,,you dont have to build up a relationship with someone like that you may get into furthere trouble,,,
2007-06-06 13:42:43 · answer #9 · answered by A 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like depression, get her drugs to combat it. Takes two to tango...
2007-06-06 13:50:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋