there is no children involved
2007-06-06 13:34:11 · 18 answers · asked by heather8lucus 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i was in the same situation my husband and i where both miserable and we had no children together we fought big time towards the end so he saved some money up moved out and yes i kept my house it was mine before we got married and he now lives in a 2 bedroom trailor something he could afford we where both miserible so do what you gotta do and get out i feel so much better now it was hard at first and tough but im over it and finally got my selfesteem back so gl to ya and count your blessings there is no children involved tc jewels
2007-06-06 13:53:11 · answer #1 · answered by jewels 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Financial reasons, perhaps. He may not see the situation the way others do. He might think his relatives and friends are judgmental and interfering. Sometimes, it is even low self-esteem or co-dependency. I think it's better to leave a hopeless, destructive relationship with no love and/or happiness in it than to stay the next five or ten years. But then again, a hopeless, destructive relationship can make someone feel that way and become that way. It is not about being a victim.
It is not his fault but he may think he is the cause of it or that he deserves it. Women do this all the time, but women feel more responsible for relationships than men, and in a way, sadly, it is natural because their nature is to nurture and not take but give. So a woman has to fight her instincts in a relationship. That is why it's so hard. With the guy, he might have been raised that way, too.
So it's an oxymoron. They are not victims but get trapped in a feeling of being victimized, blame themselves, tell themselves they deserve it, 'it will get better', and think they can fix it. That is self-defeating and doesn't work. That's why sometimes people have to push with them a little and tell the harsh truth, even intervene.
2007-06-06 13:41:23 · answer #2 · answered by cotterall&elaineadams 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With no children involved,there is no reason to stay unless you have separation issues. And if you do, then ask yourself why. Is it more important for you to be with someone than be happy? And if this is the case, why? Having a relationship with someone special is the reason we all want to be with someone but if it isn't right for so many different reasons, we have to be able to bail. Sometimes, it's so much better to be alone and find ourselves so the next time you get involved, you have much more to offer without the baggage. If it's a self esteem problem, even more important to get out and get therapy to get at the root issues.
2007-06-06 13:43:03 · answer #3 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All of these people's comments are right to some degree. It all comes down to the fact that the man is not acting like a man...Fear keeps him in the relationship...fear of the unkown, being alone, rejection...He's afraid of everything, even making the decision to leave. Only those closest to him will be able to determine if he needs a kick in the pants or a shoulder to lean on...
2007-06-06 15:10:43 · answer #4 · answered by LKOT675 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Religion also plays a part. I know a couple who are devout catholics. Neither party is happy after 7 years but divorce is looked down upon in the catholic church. So they stay toghether only because of their religion. I have asked him if he would rather be a perfect catholic and miserable or a less than perfect one and possibly happy somewhere else. His response was til death do us part. So he will be unhappy till he gets to the afterlife.
2007-06-06 18:12:44 · answer #5 · answered by Vinsims 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think like heather, you are liable to hear many things from someone trying to get in your pants. If he's seriously miserable, he would have left by now. Unless he does something like leave and file some much needed paperwork, move on.
2007-06-06 13:41:35 · answer #6 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Low self esteem, thinking that ALL women are to be generalized in a certain way perhaps - the types that say their wives nag, nag, nag those types - boring, mediocre dudes who cause ALOT of the problems in their marriage to begin with.
2007-06-06 13:50:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lots of things come to mind one he may fear being in the dating world again, he may be there because of financial reasons, or perhaps he is just saying he is miserable to get someone else
2007-06-06 15:41:53 · answer #8 · answered by billc4u 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fear of change or being alone, a habit, being in a rut, hoping they will change.
You deserve to be happy, and you have the power to make the necessary changes in your life to find happiness. Make a decision.
2007-06-06 13:37:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he actually honors his wedding vows. Or maybe, like every relationship, they've hit a rough patch and he's willing to ride through it.
2007-06-06 14:04:21 · answer #10 · answered by Yogi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋