I am ready for a baby and have been dreaming of having one for some time.. i'm in a great relationship (3yrs) and have planned our lives out together.. we have our own home, cars, great jobs.. all that alot of people want.. but I am reaaallyyy wanting a baby.. but, my partner wants to wait approx another year..
I respect that he wants to wait because he feels hes not ready, but when it comes down to 'why' in conversations he says hes scared that he wouldnt be a good dad.. which i KNOW he would be a fantastic dad.. but i dont push it because i dont want to be pushy and make from feel forced into anything..
But I just don’t know how to deal with the fact of waiting another year! So does anybody have any suggestions how to make it easier for me to wait or some things I could do to help my man realise how fantastic he will be as a father.. Thanks :-)
2007-06-06 13:08:21 · 9 answers · asked by *edb* 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Just thought I'd add this because of what some of the answers have been..
I said that I dont want him to be pressured.. and I dont pressure him.. we discuss it every now and then.. but i dont bring it up all the time or anything.. I just cant stop thinking about it myself.. I just want to know if anyone can help me deal with waiting another year or so..
2007-06-06 13:43:40 · update #1
No one is ready to be a parent until they become one, and for most of us it falls into place. How old are you? Is it feasible to wait another year to find out that he's still not ready? I say wait. It sounds like you guys have a good relationship. I've scanned your other questions.....and you are at a good age that you can wait. But it's also a good age, IMO, to have a baby. Healthy for the child and you.
Honestly, wait it out, give it another year.
2007-06-06 13:15:24 · answer #1 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that is the real reason for him not being ready, you have no choice but to respect it and not pressure him about it. When someone is pressured into doing something, it may end in the self fulfilling prophecy or damage the bond between the parties and I know you don't want to do that. Just talk to him and explain your reasoning about your readiness and his worries. You can either go the comfort route where you hope that easing his worries will convince him or the supportive waiting route where you explain your side and be respective of his wishes. I have seen bombarding work where a spouse sees that his significant other is unhappy because she wants a child and agrees to having a baby b/c he loves her and wants her to be happy. Good luck.... I'd try all three if the other doesn't work, you've gotten this far. You may also want to try sitting down with him and planning the baby like you have the rest of your lives so you both know the timeline and are both on the same page.
2007-06-06 13:19:45 · answer #2 · answered by shajenkins86 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through this with my husband and we talked long and hard about it and I did nothing but go on about it (I turned 30 in February so I knew time was ticking) he just wasn't ready and I didn't want to do anything behind his back as it's so important to wait until you are BOTH ready, which is what you sound like you want to do.
The only thing I can suggest doing is not talking about it for a year and set a time frame that from x date that you will talk seriously about it and then stick to that date. For us, it was January of this year from the year before. Trust me, at the stroke of midnight it was the first thing I mentioned "ok, now can we talk babies" - of course I was joking but needless to say he stuck by this and we agreed we were both ready. I came off the pill in February, missed a period in March and got pregnant in April.. I am 9 weeks today.
You are doing the best thing in giving him the time and agreeing to talk about it in a years's time when he will likely be ready.
2007-06-06 13:17:53 · answer #3 · answered by helkat922 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ever even try to talk anyone into having a baby that wants to wait. The baby will pay for the bad decisions. Wait the year and see if he wants a baby then. If he does not you will have to decide if you want to move on to someone who wants a family.
2007-06-06 13:14:13 · answer #4 · answered by papricka w 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to respect his wishes, try to talk about it if he thinks a year will make the difference both decide on a date that you will start trying for a baby. This will give you both something to focus on. during that time use it to make sure you are ready, in yourself your house ect, good luck a year isnt really that long in the sceme of things.
2007-06-06 13:16:04 · answer #5 · answered by desiree g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suggest he take some parenting classes to alleviate his fears.
I would simply explain to him that you would really like to start trying now. You most likely won't become pregnant right away and the baby isn't going to be born for 9 months so that's practically a year right there.
2007-06-06 13:12:44 · answer #6 · answered by C K Platypus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him the space and realize he may in another year change his mind again. Don't push him, leave it alone and find something to do. Adopt a dog or a cat for now.
2007-06-06 13:13:55 · answer #7 · answered by KT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want to have a child when your partner isnt ready? I would wait it out, he will be a better father when hes sure that he wants to be.
2007-06-06 13:12:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Umm, i think what this means is that he is a bit to young. I mean how old are you people. But then i think you should respect his decision, and try to talk about it more and see if you can convince him.
2007-06-06 13:15:46 · answer #9 · answered by Xxkekkei GenkaixX 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋