how do you cope with ever day to day life?

Question

with out your loved one who as past away.

Answer 1

Regard death as a part of life. It's hard to let people we love go, but it's healthier to do so. Celebrate not only their life, but also their departure from its more unpleasant sides. Their suffering is over, they wouldn't want you to suffer in their stead.

Then, do whatever it takes to make you feel happy in your life. Work out. Read a book, or better yet, teach a kid who doesn't get enough attention at home to read. Watch a "feel good" movie. Volunteer. Sleep in. Laugh just because. Celebrate life.

Seek support. Hang out with your friends and family. Talk about your loved one. Remember the good times, the parties, the laughter, the inside jokes. Smile, just because your loved one would want you to go on loving life.

Best wishes.

Answer 2

For me it was 'passed away', but, same as dead.

It took finding someone I liked better. I didn't cope because I knew I was right that he should have made a better decision.

If you're talking about a friend or relative, I've never had the support of any, so can't relate.

Answer 3

Some people pray a lot more, or talk to the person. When my grandfather (who I was really close to)died, I just got up and did what I had to do, reminding myself that I'd be be used to the idea soon and so far it's less painful day by day. Really, you just learn to live around it.

Answer 4

Just that. Live one day at a time. Go through the motions. Get up, brush your teeth, eat, work, sleep. Repeat. In time it will get easier and you can live again, instead of just existing.

Answer 5

Before the founding director of our school died, she gave us a poem that described how she saw death, as a spiritual change to another plane, so we would not be afraid.
That she would be like in a different room of the same house, or down the hall from us, where we could not see or talk to her, but know she was nearby in spirit.

I think that poem helped a lot of the parents, students and teachers get through the grief of missing her. We kept doing the things we knew she and all of us wanted to keep doing, which was working together and enjoying our sharing.

It also helped the students to write thank you cards and make artwork and a collage for her, so they could say goodbye in a positive way. This can help bring closure, so I advise people to make scrapbooks or write letters or work on projects that help them remember their loved ones in a way that lends positive focus.

And also to be gentle, and allow oneself unlimited time and space to go through the grief stages, whether anger or sadness, depression or numbness. Never to judge yourself for how long each stage may take, but to adjust your activities and schedule to fit your natural timing, instead of trying to force change before you are ready. Please remember that the mind, heart and soul is like any other part of the body, and needs time to recover and heal. The same way you cannot expect even a professional marathon runner to walk again right after tearing a muscle, your emotions and thoughts need time to regroup.

(I also recommend that if you feel you are getting too sad, almost drowning or overwhelmed with depressing thoughts, to try to think "angry" thoughts that can motivate you to stop yourself and work on something else. Or if you feel you are so angry or upset you can't concentrate, to try thinking sad or sorry thoughts that make you cry and release and wash away some of that anger. So you can try to balance your feelings if they go too far in one direction or the other where you feel so uncomfortable you can't function.)

So please be gentle with yourself, don't be afraid of the ups and downs you may experience. These are just a natural process to release all the mixed thoughts and feelings you may have from time to time. Don't judge or rush yourself. It's okay to stick to things that feel natural or comfortable for you until you feel like doing more, even if that means doing nothing.

Some people feel better by going out and doing new things, or taking time to do simple chores or hobbies they have not had time to do, or enjoying quiet time alone by themselves. Whatever feels right for you, try that.

As you come to terms spiritually with your loved one, who you will always carry in your heart and mind, this is a special time for you to grow closer and mature in spirit, which transcends being apart physically. Treasure the loving thoughts and memories that connect you, and work with it, until you can feel the love at all times without the sadness and grief that you feel right now. It can take years for that to pass, so let the feelings come and go, in and out like the tide, and do not try to rush nature, but allow the seasons to change. You will enjoy the beauty of life in a new way, as your love is eternal and will always be with you.

Answer 6

Sweetie, Yes it is hard to go on without a loved one, but I know we'll meet again. I have lost both parents, three brothers, two sister-in -laws and numerous other relatives, but I know they wouldn't want me to spend my life grieving. I carry them with me everyday in my heart.

Answer 7

...moment by moment...minute by minute...hour by hour...day by day...month by month...year by year...

...make sure that you "grieve"...


And while it's always easier said than done...

...do your best to "detach" from your loss, while savoring the memories of your experiences of them...

...seek the assitance of an appropriate support group (family, friends, et al)...

Regards,

Answer 8

reminding my self it might get better