People keep coming to me for help....it's taking a toll on me.?

Question

I'm fifteen years old, and already I've had to talk nine different people (including my own mother -multiple times) out of committing suicide.
People I barely even know seem to come to me when they have a problem. And because I've always wanted to help people, and because they're in fragile situations, I haven't ever refused someone.

But it's taking a toll on me -physically and mentally. I'm tired. I have my own problems. My therapist has told me that it's standing in the way of my own well-being.

But I can't just say, "Sorry, can't help" when I've told them that I'll always listen.

None of them ever accept proffessional help, so I can't refer them to a counselor.

How can I get myself out of these situations?
Please, I'll take any advice you have.

Answer 1

Try to set limits. Tell them that you'll listen but for say 15 minutes. Tell them that this is becoming hard on you. Advise them to seek help, remind them that you are not their therapist. I know that you want to be there for them, after all that is what you would want isn't it? Just remember tho that you can't carry their weight and yours as well.Let them know that you do care.Good luck!

Answer 2

We cant help others unless we are strong enough. If we are weak we cant do anything to help others. U are human too. If u r pushed like this u cant do things effectively.
First thing u need to learn is how to be assertive, so that u can say No to people instead of forcfully saying yes.
Second never get urself too much emotionally invovled with the people u handle. Emotional entanglement can drain ur energy and cant get u to use ur head to solve their problem.

Saving the world single handed may sound great but is humanly impossible. So make friends and enjoy life. Let those friends also be able to talk to those people when ur feeling down.
Hope these helped u.

Answer 3

I see that you are seeing a therapist yourself, and you're probably telling those coming to you the same things your therapist has told you. Simply learn to say "no" to those asking you by handing them your therapist's business card and let them pay their own way like you do. Plus you're not in any position to give out advice to a person with an interest in suicide especially since most of them are only craving attention and won't go thru with it anyway. If people won't accept professional help it means they don't think they need it, and you're not in a position to think they do need professional help, only they can determine if what they are thinking is ruining their own life, and in that case they need to seek professional help, so, tell them to check the yellow pages.

You said you can't say "sorry, can't help"...but, sure you can. When it gets too much for you then you can and will. That's what you need to learn and learn how to do. Instead get yourself a part-time job at your nearest hospital, or at the library reading to kids.

Answer 4

This is just a natural position for some people to be in. I'm often in the same situation. We have a natural stability that other people feel good to be around. You'll get used to it eventually if you accept that it's a gift and will attract unstable people. It's not going away.

It doesn't really bother me anymore. Actually, I enjoy helping people that need the help.

If someone is way whacked out, though. Just refer them to some pro help. Maybe even get in contact with some professionals so you have their cards to hand out.

Answer 5

Sorry that, at your young age, you have been through so much with friends and relatives.

They do need professional help--get the phone number for the free/sliding-scale mental health center in your neighborhood. Also remember, if someone is severely depressed--call 911 for an ambulance. People who are so messed up that they plan to commit suicide don't have a choice in the matter--call 911!!!!

Answer 6

Well I don't think you would be happy to actually get out of the situations especially if they ended up killing them self. You have a good nature to want to help others, but you have to understand you are not the doer. You are just the via media to give the knowledge or consolation. The way one does this is to pray about the situation. Before during and after the discussions. Constantly giving the situation to God. We have to keep handing it over, because our minds tend to want to be the control er so we have to give it back when it begins to bother us again. Praying that "May I Be a pure instrument of Your love and mercy and kindly take the burden off of me my Lord (Krishna, Allah, Jehovah, Vishnu, or what ever name you call Him) because I am just an insignificant infinitesimal spark of your splendor." God likes to be referred to by His name it is more personal and He has many. This is how to practice surrender in all situations and with everyone. Hope this helps. write me for what to say to someone who wants to committ suicide.

Answer 7

In my opinion , just tell them hey, Your feelings are important and I think you need to get help. I can not help you. I have to deal with my problems too. And if you know that they are involved in destructive behavior (e.g. slicing arms, burning themselves, driving recklessly, looking at suicide how to do books, walking too close to traffic, not going outside of their home, often have a dazed look, e.t.c.) then you can make a call to a suicide hot-line or call the hospital (Psch unit) and tell them about your friend. And either plan on being there when they talk with the person to give the person support or don't . Never compare yourself to another. My broken fingernail is just as traumatic as your dog dying.
Note*** Smiling or laughing is not a sign of happiness, what we wear on our outside is all too often a mask, of what we dont want you to see.

Answer 8

If they are suicidal, please don't take this in your own hands.You may have a gift to help others but my God your too young to take this responsibility on yourself. This sounds like a major issue for even a professional.

I'm afraid someday, someone may follow through and you don't need that burden.

If they won't call, ask the police to help. They can do a baker act which will put them in a hopital for 48 hour observation with a doctor.

Answer 9

Turn it back on them. It's the best way and the safest.
Some one askes you what do I do? You ask them what are their options? Then ask them what they think is the best one and why. You will just be guiding them and notsolving the problem for them. And if anything should happen to go wrong it was thier decision. Not yours...

Answer 10

reffering them to a counselor is a GOOD IDEA. your school counselor should be able to help you out. the fact your advising your mother speaks volumes about your maturity.

just for the hell of it, think about charging,or just letting people know in a nice way you care and appreciate they count on you for advice but you need a time out now and then.