Will the pain of losing a loved one ever stop hurting so bad?

Question

I don't ever want to forget about her... ( my baby sis) , but it seems as if tho I have to forget about what happened to her to feel ok or I just get severely depressed... Is it wrong to block out what happened in my mind to feel ok? and only remember the good times?

Answer 1

so sorry for your loss,there is no right or wrong way to grieve everybody copes with a loved ones passing in their own way,yes remember the good times you and your sis shared,and that you had that time with her,nothing can take those times away from you,the pain does ease with time if you can accept whats happened then you are coping,my hubby died sudden aged 40 I can accept he is gone but havent totally came to terms with how he died and it will be 5yrs this october.........



When we lose a loved one we feel every emotion that we have and we deal with one at a time,I still feel angry and guilty when I think of how my hubby died,I know I wasnt to blame but he was alone and resucitated when I got to see him he was on life support and had irreversible brain damage,his kids never got to say goodbye to him,Ive tried to block it out but it always creeps up on me,if you face what happened and deal with it you wont get depressed by it but you will feel other emotions,I hope you get through this it will take time be strong and remember no-one or anything can take away what you and your sis had when she was here you will always have those memories,god bless Im sending you a hug take care...

Answer 2

I lost my grandma almost 7 years ago and I still miss her terribly but when I think about her now it doesn't hurt as bad as it did for the first year especially.

And even though it will still always hurt I will never be able to completely forget the things she would say that are funny or the things she liked to cook. I have started to forget what she looks like now unless I look at the pictures I have around the house.

You won't ever completely forget your baby sister, especially if you try to focus on the good times that you had with her. It will get easier to think about some of those good times without hurting so much.

I know the first year after my grandma died I didn't think I would be able to think about her and those good things without ever hurting.

As for blocking out what happened yes one can do that and sometimes it's a very good thing. And I try not to focus on the bad so that I don't make myself hurt more. The more I focus on the good then it becomes a bit easier to not focus on the bad. So yes, definitely just focus on the good times.

But please also give yourself as much time as you need to grieve. Not everyone goes thru all the steps in the exact same order.

I'm sorry about the loss of your sister but I really do know what it's like, but it does get a bit easier over time.

(((Hugs))) to you and your family.

Answer 3

Honestly. It dulls over time and you come to accept it, but there will always be pain.
I went to counseling to learn how to deal with the grief and it was the best thing I did.
Sometimes it's not always good to block the bad things out. Eventually you have to come to terms with what happened, because sometimes its drives people mad or into a deeper depression. Keeping it bottles up inside you isn't healthy. I really do urge you to seek some counseling. Some people may think it's stupid and a waste of money, but it isn't. I didn't realized how much it helped me until months after I finished my last session.

But do remember the good times. It will help you through some of the rough times ahead.

My aunt died of breast cancer. My uncle died in car crash. My cousin (like a brother) died in a car accident too. They all died within 14 months of each other.

Answer 4

Sorry about your loss. There is much truth to the old saying "time heals all wounds". Some just take longer than others. I would focus on all the good things and times that you remember. While you cannot forget, if you try to stay tuned to the good things, eventually they will replace the hurt you have right now. Best of luck to you!!

Answer 5

Well, you can't compleatly forget about her, and you can't not forget about what happend. but If you only remember the good time, the times she made you laughed, the times you saw her smile, whatever, it will be much harder not to forget her, but if you don't forget about her, and her accident haunts you for the rest of her life, you may never forget about her, loosing her will be that much harder. but remember the good times, and even the sad, loosing her will only make you stonger, and the pain will stop, but never let the mamory of her fade away, never forget about her, always remember her.look at pics of her, video's ,,, talk about her all the time, let the whole world know how special she was, and still is to you. because when you don't, the pain will only get stonger and harder to get over

Answer 6

Blocking out is not a good idea. One needs to accept their grief. You will have many emotions to travel through in this journey called grief. Embrace each one. Talk to someone of your feelings and never bottle them up. You will come to a point when the memories are good , the pain dull, and when you want to be close to her you'll reach into thee special place in your heart were you have tucked her. I am sorry for your sadness

Answer 7

I'm sorry for your loss. I know this is a hard part of life.

Don't worry that you will ever forget because you will not.

I know that, "it gets better with time" sounds worthless, but it is true - and it takes real time (months, at the least).

You will always miss her, but you learn to deal with it and you learn to live with it.

Answer 8

So sorry about your loss. Remembering the good times is what your sister would want you to do. There will be good days and bad unfortunately, but it will get better.

Answer 9

no, it is not wrong. I have been there. I dont need to remember the bad part. Just the good...what she meant to me, how we were together, all the things...

It will get better in time. I remember thinking 'yeah right', but it does!

Answer 10

your baby sister is with you always in your mind and in spirit, and she is not in pain, and she still looks like you remembered her in the good times, plus she would not want you to suffer because she is no longer suffering. So there is no need to beat yourself up over this matter any longer.