My 14 year old son thinks he has the right to tell his parents what they are allowed to do and what their not allowed to do and you know this just doesn't fly with me and this boy is going to find out the real meaning of pushing his luck!
2007-06-06 11:20:35 · 18 answers · asked by Dr. D. AKA Evil Woman 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
You will not like this response. If your 14 year old is telling you and his father what you can and can do. You have already lost control of your household. Now, you need to take it back. You can either establish rules and NOT waver and or negotiate over them or you can have a war and allow your child to be disrespectful like the brats with lazy or clueless parents you see in public places.
Some parents what to blame others for their children behaving poorly. 999 out of a 1,000 times it is the parents fault. Televisions, console games, MP3 players and computers have become babysitters and parents think they know what their children are doing, though they are usually clueless.
My children have strict rules. They also have a lot of privileges as long as they follow the rules.
The number one thing I see that parents do wrong and end up losing control is from not being consistent and the number two thing is not following through. If you can conquer these two things, most of your battle will be over. You have a battle before you, since he thinks he is or acts like he is in charge. You need to break him of this habit (yes, it is a problem and habit) right away. Habits are difficult to break, so you need to be consistent to the point that it is painful for you and you husband.
I have always said that when punishing your children, you are punishing yourself. So, think before you discipline. I always like to wait 24 hours before punishing my children. It gave me a cool down period and allowed them time to think about what they had done wrong. I also had them tell me what their punishment should be. You may be surprised with what they come up with, after they start taking it seriously. BTW, I have rarely spanked my children. I always found that for my children there were better solutions. I am not opposed to spankings. I think most children respond better to alternative punishments. Of course 14 is too old to spank. Good luck.
2007-06-06 13:29:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know if you had sex with "Betty" and if there might be a possibility that it was yours, Why don't you want to know? If you had a PO Box, that would have made it almost impossible to serve you for child support but also some women never do file for child support. Your friends can't say so without a doubt. They weren't there. Man up and find out. I think if a parent gives a child up or if the child reaches out instead of you ,you should talk to her. If she wants to meet you and you agree, go somewhere that doesn't involve your children spouse or relatives, as that would make things very uncomfortable. This girl is at an age where she is trying to find herself. She may have a lot of questions to ask and you should be ready to answer honestly. She may just be curious about you, but unless it is proven that you are her father, what does she have to go by? You signed a birth certificate and chances are she knows that. You could be the father but say you are unwilling to put her through the test. It is just a swab in the mouth and would be up to her and you could do likewise to know for sure. Why would you want to let her down? She deserves to know. It seems that most of your worries are about back child support. So, it looks suspicious to you. Any girl or child might like t know who their father is. She may want to know if you look alike, if she has talents then where did they come from? Most importantly is the medical information. God forbid she gets an illness that needs a donor or needs to know where she got a certain illness that can be predisposed through your genes. Give he girl a chance and make it as easy as possible for her to meet you. Don't go with an attitude that she wants something from you. She may need her questions answered and many times, it doesn't go any further. I can't say what she is feeling and how she will react, but you are the adult here and owe here that much. Acknowledge her feelings and control any anger or resentment. Can you blame her? She is reaching out to you. Will you reach back? Tell her the truth about you signing the birth certificate and tell her that you may or may not be her father. If she wants to know, please give her the peace of mind and do the DNA test. You really won't know what to do or say until the time comes to meet. Just be kind and truthful and the rest will take care of itself. Most girls would love to know their real father. Obviously it is important to her. Let her ask the questions and you answer honestly. You have a supportive wife and hopefully she handle your other children or they may take after her. They will get over it and tell this young lady that you were very young and didn't know what to do. Do NOT tell her it was a mistake. All girls need their Dad, even grown ones, but her father that raised her is usually the one who will mena the most to her so keep that in mind. Any guy can make a baby; it takes a man to raise one. Good luck and help her out. You wasted too much time already.
2016-05-18 06:10:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish you luck. Went through that with my son. Took him getting knocked on his can to learn to watch his mouth and speak with some respect. I wouldn't tolerate that from a grown up I'll be damned it my kid is going to get away with it. Just remember don't leave a mark that lasts over 24 hours and you're safe. Also like you I went through the whole list of things to try, grounding, loss of privileges etc, etc. Sometimes a good old fashioned punishment reminds them there are consequences to their actions. Better he get it from me than smart off to someone who will really hurt him.
2007-06-07 04:08:46 · answer #3 · answered by Quix 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that people are too concerned with being their children's friends and not wanting to "push them away". A 14 yr old doen't have the right to tell his parents what to do or what he thinks is right and wrong.
2007-06-06 11:24:50 · answer #4 · answered by mamadiers 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It started in the 60's when kids were taught to rat out their parents for smoking dope. The next step was when Child Protective Services decided that parents couldn't discipline their own kids. Kids have very little respect for their parents and have been taught that their needs are more important than the needs of the entire family.
2007-06-06 11:36:16 · answer #5 · answered by charliecizarny 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
right on preach it sista. The trend of kids being the boss is taking over.
My statement when my son was 13 yrs old was....."I have the job, money, intelligence to be the boss here, I pay for your housing, clothes, food and all the other things that go along w/that and little mister until you can handle all this...I run the show". done deal.
2007-06-06 11:30:37 · answer #6 · answered by sideways 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Last I checked, 14 year olds have very little rights to anything.
2007-06-07 00:36:35 · answer #7 · answered by Ron B. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What your 14 year old gets away with is totally up to you, if you set a president it will get harder and harder to turn back. Take control, he is testing the waters, and your response is all that matters.
2007-06-06 15:56:42 · answer #8 · answered by Don,The 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you let him push his luck. I am 11 and my mom allows me to express my opinion. The decisions are always hers to make. You need to make rules and stick to them or he is going to be someone no one likes and people are going to know you are responsible. Make changes before its to late.
2007-06-06 13:39:32 · answer #9 · answered by chelsidarius 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am in total agreement with you. I can't believe the way that some of these little kids think that they can act all grown up.
2007-06-06 11:24:20 · answer #10 · answered by angelofgothic 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋