Ok I have been married to this man for almost 3 yrs and we have been together for a lil over 4...he was the most laid back sweet considerate man i have ever met...now days he is being very controlling he dosent want me hangin out with the one girlfriend i have and when i do he insists on a curfew and how many times a week i can go out...he even made me delete my myspace because i had friends that were guys(whom i never talked to) that he didnt know...he is a cop and when i asked if he was cheating because naturally i got worried due to the drasyic attitude change he said yeah ok when do i have time and i actually dont think he does...our sex life is great also...do you think its the job??? what should i do i love him but i do not wanna be treated this way we also have 2 kids...
2007-06-06 09:32:22 · 5 answers · asked by 4everheartbroken 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
yes i have asked him y the sudden change and he said its not a change hre just now sayin it....and he refuses to go to counseling he says we are fine
2007-06-06 09:42:41 · update #1
number 1 i dont go out alot i am home all day with my kids and i deserve a lil me time and if you would have read the question it said i dont talk to these people they are friends of friends who just added me... i have never and will never cheat!
2007-06-06 09:44:36 · update #2
This is abuse. No he isn't hitting you or screaming obscenities, but he is attempting to control you. It will escalate if you allow this to continue. Cops are under a lot of pressure and have little control in the work force. There is a lot of unknown for them He is attempting to find control through his control of you. This will destroy your relationship if you do not get help. You will eventually resent him bitterly for this. As a cop, he may be reluctant to get counseling, but you need to.
By The way, DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT YOU WERE INTERESTED IN ANOTHER MAN IN YOUR OTHER QUESTION. MAYBE YOUR HUSBAND HAS PICKED UP ON THIS LITTLE TID BIT.
2007-06-06 09:40:20 · answer #1 · answered by Cloee Quips 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he knows stuff about the other woman your hanging out with, but it's unlikely. It is very possible that he is cheating. I know a lot of men and women will do a complete turn around with the way they treat their other spouse when they are cheating. Have you sat him down and asked him why the sudden change other than asking him if he's cheating? I mean, anyone can find the time to cheat if they wanted to. You should talk to him seriously, your kids do not need to see him treat you poorly.
2007-06-06 16:39:01 · answer #2 · answered by LiL' Momma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are accusing him of cheating? If anything, you are the one giving indications of cheating (even if you aren't)....wanting to go out a lot, chatting on myspace...he had a right to pull in the reigns and say hey,I don't like what you are doing.
Why would you accept men on your myspace page if you weren't talking to them?
The problem isn't his job...it's you...and your change. You going out, you chatting on the computer...all the things you see people on this site asking about as signs that their spouse is pulling away from them.
Turn off the computer and go out on the tow with your husband, and not your girlfriend, and I'll bet you see a change in his attitude.
2007-06-06 16:41:45 · answer #3 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We can all sit here and psychoanalyze your husband all night long, and it won't help you a bit. We don't know him. Regardless, he has changed. You are not happy with the change. Lots of cops don't act like this way, so the job is not an excuse. You two need to get to a marriage counselor and work it out. Tell him you are unhappy. Tell him why. Then tell him you want to see the counselor. A counselor will allow both of you to voice your feelings in a neutral environment, identify problems, and work out strategies to deal with those problems. If he won't go, then go yourself. It will really open your eyes. Your other option is likely either letting him get worse, or getting a divorce. I sense you want this to work out. Get thee to a counselor! Good luck!
2007-06-06 16:38:00 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is a cop. That is why he is controlling. He was probably hiding that side of his personality. You need to talk to him. He is being unreasonable, controlling and quite creepy. And yes, probably cheating on you.
2007-06-06 16:36:30 · answer #5 · answered by Big Momma Carnivore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋