and have had a long relationship with someone and they have done something in the past you cant get over, does that mean you are not really in love with them and are just used to them?
2007-06-06 07:01:35 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
AK. i very rarely bring it up. i have been with my husband for 16 years, it happened 11 years ago. but i cant help it every time i think about i wanna kill him all over again and as i get older it gets worse
2007-06-06 07:15:34 · update #1
jnienow94.. short version. he used to drink went out got drunk, had a fight with some people, comes in all bloody tells me ist not my business, later that night aguy shows up at the door im holding our 2 week old baby and he puts a gun to my head. my husband comes out see whats happening and halls *** out the back door and leaves me and three kids alone to fend for ourselves....so it makes me ownder how much he loves me... and i cant get over it. im still pissed 11 years later
2007-06-06 07:19:47 · update #2
only you know the answer to that question. Its easy to fall into a certain routine. Same thing everyday...........but you have to change that by making things more fun everywhere.....in the bedroom, your hobbies...just things you can do together. And if you've done all that and you still feel the same way then I'd say that it's over.
2007-06-06 07:10:38 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not always. You have to ask yourself why you can't get over whatever it is they did. Is it something so terrible you think no matter how much time passes you will never change your mind? Are they sorry for what they did? Will it ever happen again? Do you trust them? There are tons of questions you have to ask yourself, but don't just assume it is because the love is gone. If you can't get over it, even after talking things out, then you should probably move on because you will only build resentment towards the other person. Being hurt and being in love are sometimes very closely related. That's why love isn't a simple thing to figure out...
2007-06-06 14:10:16 · answer #2 · answered by Joe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless they killed an entire family or are leaning towards serial murder and cannibalism, any and all criminal acts, insane behaviour and say, Nazism, You would have to understand that what is in the past, should stay there, no one is perfect and seriously, some people change.
What ever the issues here, if you can't see beyond this so-called passed transgression, the partner you are with has to be compatible with you on other levels, otherwise you might just be using this as an excuse to dump them.
Either you love them or you don't. Only you can truly answer that.
Good luck, be well.
2007-06-06 14:09:54 · answer #3 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That generally means that this person has done something that really hurt you. A lot of times if someone hurts another this much, it is difficult to continue in the marriage without having further problems together. I was in this situation with my ex husband, he hurt me so badly, I could not forget what he did to me, even 3 years after it happened. Then, one day I seen that I was no longer happy with him because he had went over the limit when he hurt me. We got married in 1998 and I divorced him in 2004 because I seen I wasn't ever going to be in peace with him and I was not happy at all. Now I am married to a wonderful man. My old life was like NIGHT, my new life is like DAY.
2007-06-06 14:11:38 · answer #4 · answered by Namoosa~ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It just means that you still think you were injured (emotionally, physically whatever) by what was done. In fact nothing anyone does hurts your spirit or soul so technically (where God is concerned) there is nothing that hurts you except what you choose to think and hold on to. Then the hurt isn't because of what someone else did but because of what you're doing or not doing by letting go and seeing that you are still fully in tact and you are fully capable of being happy and loving despite an error from someone on the same path in life as you.
2007-06-06 14:14:20 · answer #5 · answered by Love to Love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say that your not inlove with them.
You say can't get over it. Have you forgiven the person and just not forgotten or do you continuously bring it up every chance you get?
If this special someone hasn't done it since the last time in which your speaking and this person is treating you great now.....live by the following
If the person is important to you don't take them for granite, if the person isn't improtant to you don't waste your time.
Life is to short to hold on to something you can not change.
Go with the serenity prayer...gets me through everyday.
2007-06-06 14:09:48 · answer #6 · answered by 20+ years and still in-love! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Past? before marriage and you knew and married any way?
Then you have the problem and need to resolve your insecurity issue.
During the marriage? Better work on that together.
During courtship? You can't forget or forgive- Move ON!
Then I read your notes: Haul *** out the door and never look back-he is scum
Old Guy
2007-06-06 14:32:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you can love someone to pieces and not like something that they have done. Emotional scares are the hardest to heal. If he did something that caused you pain, it will take time. You can still love in the meantime, it would not still hurt if you did not love. Good Luck.
2007-06-06 14:05:59 · answer #8 · answered by juggalizzle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not !!! You can still be in love with the person, however, there may be an issue of trust or something that still nags at you, and that is why you cannot get over it.
2007-06-06 14:05:57 · answer #9 · answered by pressman22001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means your wasting your time. Forgiveness is a cornerstone of a good relationship. Just like trust, if the trust is gone and you cannot forgive then your fooling yourself in the end.
2007-06-06 14:06:41 · answer #10 · answered by Fixguy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋