My ex wife moved in with a man 4 days after our separation. Two years later I'm single, by choice, and she is in that very shaky relationship. She and I still talk and get alone well enough. While married she had to have a hysterectomy. At the time I accepted that I'd not have more kids. About 6 months ago I was kicking around the idea of a vasectomy. At the time I wasn't sure I'd have a ride home after the procedure so I asked if she'd be able to help me with that. She agreed. A month or so back she asked me about it and I told her I had decided not to get it. She freaked out. She went on and on about how I took her son from her and she can't have kids but I can. I do have custody of our son. We have a set visitation schedule but the reality is she sees him pretty much whenever she wants, excluding when she and the b/f are fighting and she calls to say she doesn’t want him there that day. Why is she upset that I can still have children if I choose to?
2007-06-06 07:00:56 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Easy. She messed up, and she knows it. On the other hand, you did not. She is jealous and frustrated at her mistake. It is easier for many people, especially if they have low self esteem, to blame others for their own problems, rather than just accept that they made a mistake. By getting angry at you, it deflects her hard feelings from herself. Don't take it personally. She is going through a rough time and doesn't know what she is talking about. Be supportive and live your life the best you can for your kid, and you'll be fine. Your ex will have to learn how to deal with her problems on her own. Be enouraging, but don't take it on yourself to deal with her problems. That is not your job anymore. Good luck!
2007-06-06 07:06:43 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's having an irrational reaction to the news that you can still procreate but that's because it is an emotional issue for her that she can't have that choice in the future.
I'd not say another word about it and assume she has the smarts to realize that she has a very good thing going. You have the responsibility for your son, she gets to enjoy seeing him whenever she wants. I don't think she would choose to have custody unless she was so angry that she wanted to make a stupid point and claim ownership of that responsibility.
You can be the best guy in the world, the best dad in the world, the best ex in the world but I would still expect major fireworks if you ever decide to remarry. To her that would mean that you can have a second go at the institution of marriage and after 2 years of living with a guy, I doubt that she is ready or even that he is willing to have that.
You say it's a shaky relationship but that can change. If it does in a positive way, you will probably be able to relax a lot more about the way you live your life and plan or don't plan to have more children. Maybe you like being single and it is a moot point anyway. If it is, just disregard her emotional reactions. She knows you well enough to be able to tell whether you like being single.
2007-06-06 14:13:23 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's hurt and jealous that you can completely start a new life the same as you could when you were a young man, and she can't do the same.
She's also feeling very down about her current crappy relationship.
She might even hope that the two of you could get back together again, and your reverse decision on vasectomy has her concerned that you are possibly eyeing someone.
Her hysterectomy wasn't a choice, life isn't fair, and she wants it to be fair.
2007-06-06 14:22:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
shes crazy! haha if you get a vasectomy your balls are going to srink and your going to feel like a dumbass with no meaning of life. you need to keep bangin woman sheezz. your lucky so your woman is with anuther man shiz thats why u find you one on match.com or holler at some new ones find your taste until you get a sweet one. dang thats a hard question. did you kick that dudes ask for walking off with your woman. i would have beat his ask that way when he comes around he knows your freakin crazy. and when he fights with your woman hell be thinking am i going to get a butt whoopin for this? at the end of the fight back hand him while your stomping him with your dr martins and say taste them heels when you think about anger think about getting your ask kicked. that well scar him 4 life than no more anger. whats he going do call the cops. start with a bat if hes bigger i always think about nicky on casino when im stomping a guy.
2007-06-07 14:45:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is acting like a jerk. She left you for another guy and wants to tell you what you to do about having children. Tell her that that whether you choose to have another child in the future is your business, not hers, end of story.
She is jealous that she cant have a baby anymore. She has no right to complain to you about it. Good luck.
2007-06-06 14:07:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She realizes she has screwed up her life. She is jealous. She is a user and isn't honest. Stay away from her. She is bad news. Call a taxi next time friend.
2007-06-06 14:05:12 · answer #6 · answered by sammie_miles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is hurt because she thought it was something you guys went through together. Girls are weird about our emotions. If you still talk as much as you claim maybe she thinks one day you will get back together.
2007-06-06 14:05:54 · answer #7 · answered by jhardinmom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My guess is.........................................she doesnt want you to have other children............she see's you as only her children's father..................and maybe, knows that if you have another child one day, it will give your son siblings, which will not belong to her.
2007-06-06 14:05:02 · answer #8 · answered by lynn_k_m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because she is selfish.
2007-06-06 14:04:51 · answer #9 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋