ive been married 4 7 yrs. I have a 9yr old from my previous boyfriend. i also have a 6 yr old from my now husbund. we had 7 wonderful yrs weve been together 4 8.. I went out one night w/
2 meet w/my gf who was having marriage problems, but she never showed up. i was having a good time w/some friends from high school and got drunk, i went outside to get some air and was attacked by a man i didnt know..(nothing sexual happened) My old high school friend (a guy)beat the crap out of him and he took me to his parents house. He helped me and took me home but it was 3oclock in the morning. my husband was pissed and i never told him what happened. he would ask over and over about the nights accurances but i just lied and said nothing happened. he still is having sex with me regularly. he found out 3 months later what really happened but not from me and is even more pissed.because of all the lies. he has lied to me too about a girl at work..my husband flirts bad and she called me and told me .
2007-06-06 05:40:17 · 28 answers · asked by machele 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
right now i am with my dad and daughter visiting in a different state to give us some space..but everybody who ever wanted or tried to split us up ..well they r telling lies and he is convinced that i have ran around on him and w/all the lies he has given up on us totally and im scared. the last 8 months have been hell on us and he wont even consider that we had 7 good yrs of marriage.. why would he give up so easily? could he have fallen out of love and not known it long ago. he says he cant trust me at all for that one lie.. and we dont communicate very well right now..every time we get in this conversation it bails out of it and wont talk anymore..he says he loves me but is not in love with me..i dont work i take care of our kids and he wants to kick me out of our house which is in both of our names..he says the kids can stay there but i have 2 leave and get on my feet then we will talk about custody..but that is my house 2 and i told him im not leaving.i live in texas i wonder abou
2007-06-06 05:49:06 · update #1
i wonder about my rights w/the house. I dont want any of this to happen..i love my husband i know i messed up and he doesnt believe 1 single thing i tell him anymore...i feel lost and my daughter cries ever night ..shes very bright and i didnt think she would ever know what is going on but she does. and that scared me. why would a man just say no more when there has been nothing wrong till lately...oh im so confused..
2007-06-06 05:52:39 · update #2
remember my husband and i have sex about 3 or 4 xs a week and well i guess he just wants sex from me..but 2 me if hes willing to have sex with me doesnt that still mean something?
2007-06-06 05:54:37 · update #3
Your husband wants a divorce because you refused to communicate with him about an important occurance in your life.
You can't be married and pick and choose what you are going to share, giving only part of yourself.
Sit him down and tell him everything about that night and tell him that you'll never withhold information from him again.
Good luck...and if you're so innocent, why did you lie in the first place?
2007-06-06 05:45:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Anyone who is or has ever got married knows how hard it is to keep a marriage going-it involves alot of sacrifices.so at Ur stage,( 2 chldn of different fathers, 7 yrs of marriage) I don't recommend a divorce! A consellor may help but his personality may make u 2 repent.
If the reason U lied 2 Ur husband was because he had also lied 2 U about a girl at work,then U should Know that a fault can never be corrected by another fault.
2007-06-06 06:38:13 · answer #2 · answered by Edward Great 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like 7 good years of marriage to me. It sounds like a train wreck.
Why did you not tell him the truth? You need to be open with him and talk to him.
The best way for the two of you to get past all the lies is for you to get yourself back home where you belong and see if he will go to marital counseling with you. If he won't do it then go without him. You have a lot of the blame here too and maybe a counselor can give you some insight.
If the marriage is truly over, do not leave the house. Stay in your home until you get separation papers or divorce papers drawn up so that you are sure to get the financial support you need from him so you can get your own place. He cannot make you leave your home and leave your children behind. Talk to an attorney about this.
Do not let him bully you.
2007-06-06 05:55:23 · answer #3 · answered by Schwinn 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but if my wife went out, got drunk, came home at 3:00 AM with some dude then lied about what really happened, I may do the same thing. Also something tells me that there were other problems prior to this and that you may not be telling the whole truth about the night in question.
Sorry but YOU sound like a selfish, dishonest woman. You already have two kids from two different guys and still feel the need to go out drinking witrh other men until 3:00 AM? You are getting what you deserve but I do feel sorry for your oldest son who will now have to lose a 2nd father figure due to YOUR mistakes!
2007-06-06 06:00:18 · answer #4 · answered by Steve J 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
#1, you should have never lied, although the truth would have probably sounded like a really bizarre tall tale to try to keep yourself out of trouble. It seems like he is using this situation to his advantage, to try and turn the tables and make it seem as though everything is your fault, and since he is an angel, he can't bring himself to live with you any longer. You made a big mistake and may have to suffer the consequences...but you are human and therefore not perfect, just like him. You may have to accept the fact that he could be using this as an excuse to get out. Marriage is very hard in the best of times, it requires a lot of work and give and take, it has ups and downs. Fight for it, but don't grovel. You will have to prove yourself to win back his trust, if he will let you. Good luck!
2007-06-06 06:06:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
How did you let seven wonderful years get turn into a grade school lovers spat?
Your lies not only destroyed the trust but you mention something an outsider (co-worker) said and uses it as leverage. You should truly be ashamed of the situation you create, cause your initial impulse to lie was reason enough to believe that more went on than what you were willing to reveal. When your intention are pure only good can come of it.
In your case, you took advantage of what you thought was a "convenient alibi" which turned out to be a "deal breaker".
2007-06-06 05:55:22 · answer #6 · answered by dadgonewild 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Part of a partners roll is to protect you. How do you think he felt when his wife got attacked and another guy protected her? He is probably hurt that you didn't trust him enough to come straight home and confide the truth in him. You would want to know. To be honest the situation sounds iffy to begin with. Why didn't you file a police report if you got attacked. And why wouldn't you tell your husband?
The fact of the matter is that you have the children. Do not give them back to him to live in your house without you in it. If you can't work things out with your marriage and you want the house you don't want to leave it. Take the kids home and try to apologize to him and GET counseling. If he won't go with you then go by yourself. Every time you go invite him. And just in case it goes to court document everything! Phone calls, love sessions, fights, his co-workers phone call. EVERYTHING!
Two wrongs don't make a right and just cause he lied doesn't make it OK that you did. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-06-06 06:06:57 · answer #7 · answered by jhardinmom 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
this may hurt but maybe he was looking for an excuse to get out of the marriage! 7 years and one lie,and then he has told lies also! when he said he isn't in love with you anymore that just didn't happen over night or this incident! it has been a problem! you were wrong for lying yet i don't think you deserve this! you have rights to the house yet,you have no job how do you plan on paying for it with no job? talk to husband but from the sound of it he doesn't want to work it so make plans to move on! look for a job,apartment,etc!
2007-06-06 06:00:54 · answer #8 · answered by erica k 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is more than merely lying.
You showed the first lapse of judgment by getting drunk.
You showed the second lapse by not telling your husband you were attacked
You showed a third lapse by letting someone else tell him three months down the road.
This was a situation that could have been easily squelched, especially since you were the attacked party.
What were you so afraid of that you couldn't tell your husband the truth right then and there? Why couldn't guy friend called up hubby and say "Your wife was attacked by some drunk jerk. Get yourself over here, please."?
He feels violated, as you were not honest in what happened.
2007-06-06 05:57:40 · answer #9 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It means he's horny! Not trying to be a smart @$$. Trust in a relationship is the most important standard. If the situation was what you said it was there should have been no reason for you to lie about yout whereabouts and if what you said happened really happened, don't you think your husband should have heard it from you and not someone else. He has a right to be upset. If you can't be trusted with little, you can't be trusted with much. I know it's hard especially when you don't think it's serious enough for him to walk away, but you have to remember that we are individuals and handle things in our own way.
2007-06-06 06:34:23 · answer #10 · answered by MeMe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋