does having a baby ever help a struggling marriage?

Question

Are there any situations that really it might help make the marriage stronger?

Answer 1

no...No..NO..NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO
Uummmm-let me think. NO!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, I speak from experience. The answer is no way, no how, not now, not ever.
Children ARE a gift from God, but it's a gift that we imperfect, stressed out humans do not always accept well. Add to the fact that you already have massive stress in your life (from your marital differences) and it's like a timebomb getting ready to go off. It's not so much a question of WHETHER it will explode, it's just a matter of WHEN and how long the wick is.
Some people will say that a baby will help keep their marriage alive when nothing else would have. As a victim of that kind of thinking, I can only say that it consumes ALL my energy to take care of my daughters (whom I ADORE and would not trade for all the riches in the world, becuase in them I HAVE all the riches in the universe)--YET!!! I am broken hearted that their mother and I have failed to provide them with a good example of what a loving couple should be/act like and they might repeat the pattern in their lives because we "are staying together for the good of the children". A statistical FACT: DIVORCE destrouys kids. Look up any psychological monograph you want, and you will see it's true. A close second to divorce but still "better"? A horrible marriage between parents. (although that's sorta like saying "What's better? A beating with a whip or a beating with a belt? they are both going to hurt)
PLEASE don't do it. It won't help. Listen to the majority of the responses with your heart. They and I are correct!
Good luck!

Answer 2

Usually adding a baby into a struggling marriage makes the marriage even more difficult. Granted, there are always exceptions but I believe it usually doesn't help much. To make a marriage stronger when it is already struggling takes a lot of hard work on the parts of both people and having a baby will take away that focus for each other. I would suggest going to counseling as a first step to helping a struggling marriage instead of having a baby.

Answer 3

I dont think bringing a baby into struggling marriage will make things better, there are some execptions, but there are very few. During the pregnancy period, your problems may be put to the side and you guys will deal with the baby situation. Then after the baby is born, the issues usually reoccur and sometimes the situation is more intense. Having a baby in a struggling marriage may things even harder when you to decided to split up, such as custody, child support, visitations, etc. So it would not be a good idea to have a baby in a struggling marriage. Try to resolve the issue in the marriage first before with counseling, before making the next step.

Answer 4

No a baby is never the answer......look how many divorce with 3-4 children. often this can even cause more problems! The best way to make your marriage stronger is to get marriage counseling. When you both get help for what is struggling in the marriage and things are on track....then you both decide on having a baby together. A child needs both of his\her parents there and to be happy together. That is the greatest gift that a parent can ever give to their children. Best wishes sweetie.

Answer 5

No, But a lot of people have a baby to try to fix the marriage. Having a baby is hard hard work. You have to be able to communicate with each other to be able to do it together. After a baby is born so many couples struggle just to get through but add a struggling marriage to it and that is stress city. I wish that I could say yes, but the answer is no.

Answer 6

Well, think about it logically.

2:00 feedings, a mom who can’t seem to get out of those sweatpants and is constantly exhausted from such a huge change, a husband who feels useless because his wife is now devoting all her attention to the baby, financial stress, emotional stress, physical exhaustion…

Do YOU think it all that would make a marriage better if the marriage is already on the rocks? Having a baby is a HUGE commitment. No one should even consider bringing a baby into their world unless they already have a strong foundation where their marriage is concerned. Having a baby just to “fix things” never works. And plus now you’ve brought an innocent child into your mess.

Answer 7

Umm no! I don't think there is every going to be a time when having a baby, who requires undivided attention and affection will save a stressed out struggling marriage....fix the marriage and then have a baby. Bring that baby home to a happy healthy environment.

Answer 8

No, having a baby does not help if you're already struggling in your marriage. It makes it worse.

Answer 9

I did plumbing for 20 years and it is one of the toughest jobs, certainly one of the toughest trades. I had been up to my neck in sewerage (literally), under a restaurant with a grease trap smell so strong I almost went unconscious, have had to work in the sun digging for hours, etc etc. But when you have to provide for your family, you do what you need to do. I do not like plumbing but have had to go back and do it many times when I needed money. If you graduated you should go through the apprentice phase quickly and get your journeyman card soon so that you can start making some money. There are ways to do it in a few months. When the economy goes down, you do service work instead of new construction and there will always be a need. In every community there is a top plumber or plumbing company or companies. Find them and work for them. Start working and making money and the stress will go away. In short, if it were me, I would would "suck it up" and forget job preferences for now until you get some cash flow.

Answer 10

Chances are if your marriage is struggling, having a baby will only make it worse. Not only do you have your relationship to worry about, now there is a human life to care for also.