Me and my husband have been married for 3 years I love him but I'm not in love with him and I have to force myself to have sex with him. We have been having problems for about 3 months now...he works 8a-8p mon-sat so he is never home, he is always cranky, he is always asking me if i'm cheating on him, he accuses me of everything...he insist that I be a stay at home mom but then sarcastically tells me how "hard" my job is and why I shouldn't be tired...he wakes me up in the middle of the night asking me questions...we have been to marriage counseling and it gets better for a month or so and then right back to the same stuff in last marriage I was beaten BADLY and he always says stuff like "i know why he beat your a**, or if he see's someone on tv that has been beaten up he'll ask me "did you ever look like that" e calls me 20x's a day to see where i am e doesn't like any of my friends and if i go there he gets mad he gets mad b/c i don't drink with him but i don't really drink.
2007-06-06 05:36:17 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry I didn't realize there is no questions there...lol...what do you think? We are young 22-23....and he is always cranky if my friends or family come over he goes to the bedroom and shuts the door...he doesn't speak to them. And I feel like it's my dad and not husband.
2007-06-06 05:39:08 · update #1
This is a tough situation. I think a divorce should be the last resort. It does sound as if you have tried everything though. Life is too short to live so miserably. Forget going to counseling with him if it is not helping. Go for yourself though. There is a reason why you keep ending up in bad relationships. Help yourself and the rest will fall into place.
2007-06-06 05:43:28 · answer #1 · answered by Tyra99 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is that I would NEVER tolerate a man or anyone else saying such things about a previous abuse I'd suffered. I mean as soon as he said it I'd have packed the kids up and left--or done it as soon as he left for work. And I'd only come back if he cried and begged and apologized. He has to know that's not acceptable.
I realize that's easier said than done. You have allowed yourself to be in an abusive relationship before, and you are doing it again. You have no control over your life, so it's hard to imagine that you have any strength or self-esteem.
Don't wait for this to get worse. Any man who can even imagine saying "I see why he beat you" is not a man worth being with. In fact, he's likely a dangerous man to be with. I know you have kids, but know that the best thing you can do for them is to take care of their mother. You need a loving, caring partner--not a controlling ****** threatening and stalking you. You'd be better off alone--seriously--becuase at least then you could be a strong and powerful woman.
Also, you are 23 and have already been married twice??? You need to figure out who you are and not base your entire identity on the men in your life. Get some hobbies, get some friends, join a church, do SOMETHING that doesn't revolve around your family. I wish you didn't have kids because it'll be hard for you to ever do this...
2007-06-06 06:20:27 · answer #2 · answered by lizzgeorge 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not a good situation obviously. You have a life and you deserve to live it any way you desire. You cannot live your life with controlling, non-trusting, verbally abusive, non-social drinker. You need to spend some time away from him and eventually rid yourself of him altogether. Sounds like you've had a background of abuse which attracts you to these low lifes. You are very young to have gone through what sounds like so much. But, you're in your early 20's and you should be enjoying these years and those thereafter. You can't enjoy these years with someone constantly bringing you down. Rid your life of this guy you call your husband and you'll quickly wonder why you didn't do it sooner. Good luck.
2007-06-06 05:45:07 · answer #3 · answered by SpecialK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do realise that this is another form of abuse. Verbal. You say your previous marriage was abusive then why stay in this one. He should be supporting you not making fun of you or bringing you down.
Sorry to say but you should leave him. You don't deserve to be treated like this. Your friends and family will be there for you... but leave before things become worse and you end in up a situation like before.
If the counselling isn't working then perhaps its time to move on. Good luck
2007-06-06 05:43:54 · answer #4 · answered by Angel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm severe while assisting the particular needs infants I paintings with. yet i'm heavily taking section in them. they don't want to be dealt with as something particular. they only want to be dealt with like countless different newborn. I take that very heavily with a grin and a giggle and actual love in my coronary heart. ok sufficient of cleansing soap container preaching I take my marriage heavily yet back i attempt to maintain it sparkling and new. each thing else I purely take 0.5 heavily. I by no capacity have faith what a flesh presser tells me so how do you're taking them heavily? The media is to the factor the place they inform you purely what fits there very own time table quite of purely reporting the information as that's. So how do I take them heavily? besides the fact that; I not often take on an known basis life heavily. I used to try this and it notably much killed me so now I take each and daily because it comes and attempt to have as plenty exciting with it as i can. not something makes you experience extra efficient than a giggle or a grin. nicely apart from an excellent intimate bump into besides. That places an excellent smile on my face.LOL
2016-12-18 15:43:41 · answer #5 · answered by zagel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are both inmature and got married WAY young. Big mistake.
You don't have to live in this misery all of your life. Life is too short to live in hell and you have your whole life ahead of you.
My honest opinion is for you to go back home with mom and dad and divorce him. Do not take this crap.
Good luck
2007-06-06 05:42:28 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a lot of growing up to do, and you need to see some one to help you move forward with your life, a shrink of the lack of better words, this guy is trouble and I feel sorry of you that you married him he's a looser, and sounds like he's a time bomb ready to go off.
2007-06-06 05:42:24 · answer #7 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunetly you entered into a controlling marriage. He is trying to control you by making you stay home and calling you all day. It is clearly time for you to move on.
2007-06-06 05:41:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to seriously consider getting yourself and your children to a shelter. Your husbands behaviour has all the classic signs of domestic abuse.
2007-06-06 06:33:59 · answer #9 · answered by jambofan1226 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a control freak. If you don't get help of some sort very quickly, his treatment toward you will only intensify.
2007-06-06 06:02:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋