So, someone lies to you betrays you, you forgive them. But, just because you've forgiven, does that mean that the person steps back into your life? Or does the person have to earn the place back?
2007-06-06 05:13:15 · 33 answers · asked by why70 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
By the way, it's not about a man in my life. In this instance, I'm talking about my father & my ex-best friend
2007-06-06 06:04:06 · update #1
True forgiveness is unconditional and independent of a change in the offending party.
Forgiving a person allows you to see them for who they really are and always will be and not who you want them to be. Once you understand that, you can make a better decision as to whether they should be a part of your life or not.
2007-06-06 05:19:04 · answer #1 · answered by lunatic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I've been betrayed by the same person several times. I told them it was okay, which I now regret because really, it wasn't. I have now forgiven this person, but on my terms...what I mean is that, I have told myself that I've forgiven them and are at peace with this thought. That doesn't mean that I'm gonna go race out and be the best of friends with them again. It will take a bit of time for the hurt that I've experienced from this person to heal. I think you can forgive and still be hurt. In this case, I think it takes time for the relationship to get anywhere near normal again...I will not be contacting this friend of mine for quite some time.
2007-06-06 05:18:30 · answer #2 · answered by janet_smith2007118 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily. Forgiving means that you've agreed to move on from what happened, but it doesn't erase what happened. This person cannot expect to have the same status and level of trust from you as he or she did before. In some cases, forgiving another person may just mean clearing the air and moving on, but not restoring the relationship. The burden is on the person who lied and betrayed you to show that he or she has learned that those actions were wrong and is now a person worthy of your trust.
2007-06-06 05:20:34 · answer #3 · answered by Demon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the person has to earn your trust back. It is a long process to forgive someone for something. Obviously, this was something serious and it must have been a man involved. Never trust her around your man again, but remember good friends only come along once in a lifetime.
2007-06-06 05:18:45 · answer #4 · answered by CIN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive but never forget is really what seems to be going on..I would set firm boundaries.It will never be like it once was. Do not give to much room for trial and error. She odiously misses you if she wants back in.. the road will end up on the same path with lies and deceit.... a lire is a lire
It was good you forgave her but that does not mean you would have to let her back into your life..Forgiveness is Devinne....Now that you forgave her You should think twice on letting her back into your world.
2007-06-06 05:51:04 · answer #5 · answered by Sprinkles C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is a very complex term. When you forgive someone, it means that you no longer hold a grudge, anger, bad feelings, and much, much more against them. It means that you feel so good with yourself that you just put things behind in order to move forward. When you forgive, you liberate yourself and the other person. That does not mean the person has to be in your life again. After all, you let go and liberated that person from their guilt and liberated yourself from the grudge. You always get to choose who enters your kingdom.
2007-06-06 05:21:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No that does not mean you let them back into your life. I think you are mistaken in what forgiving really is. Forgiving someone is that u let go of any grudges, resentment or anger that you have against this person. If they hurt you in any way, it is best to forgive them and to move on. Like if you ever see them in the future you wont want to kill them or hope they die. God teaches us that forgiveness is good for the soul, but you dont have to let that person back into your life if you dont want to. Just let go of the anger. Letting them back into your life would be something THEY have to worry about. Not you.
2007-06-06 05:19:12 · answer #7 · answered by Is that your final answer? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have to earn a place back. They know they have done something wrong in the first place. In forgiving them is a big step it doesnt' mean that you trust them the same at all. That needs to develop and if it doesnt' don't let them in.
2007-06-06 05:17:35 · answer #8 · answered by confused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't always have to let them back in. There are some instances where it is best that you forgive that person so that you can move on with your life, but you know that person is bad for you so you don't have much to do with them afterward.
2007-06-06 05:16:24 · answer #9 · answered by Meg...Out of Hybernation 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is up to you...
Forgiving someone is not forgetting what happened.
Ultimately, you want both yourself and the other person to be happy.
The hardest part, sometimes, is knowing that not being in each other's lives is the best thing for both parties and acting upon it.
If the relationship is toxic for you, then it is not worth it for you and the other person. It takes more inner strength to stay apart if it needs to be this way.
At the end of the day, you need to have faith in yourself and do what you think is best.
2007-06-06 05:19:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋