Sometimes when I make the excuse that I'm afraid I'll drop the baby the parents just go ahead and thrust the baby into my arms anyway, correcting how I hold it. I didn't want to hold it in the first place lol. How do you politely decline to avoid a scenerio like that and avoid offending the new parents?
2007-06-06 05:01:49 · 31 answers · asked by dolce 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Manda S - I'm asking because a lot of family members have just had babies. Usually when they ask me to hold their baby, it's in a room full of people and I feel uncomfortable saying no because babies do make me feel uncomfortable. I've never been around them and I don't really like to be. I wouldn't mind holding for a few moments if mom had to take care of something, but if it's just for the sake of entertainment, I'd prefer not to without being rude. They're cute, but they're just not for me :)
2007-06-06 05:41:21 · update #1
Just tell the new mom or dad that you don't feel comfortable holding a baby. If they try to insist politely but firmly say no thank you. There's really no other way to avoid it but to say no. Don't make excuses - just say you don't want to. If the new parents are offended, so be it. It doesn't make you a bad person. Actually I applaud you for your honesty in this situation.
2007-06-06 05:15:23 · answer #1 · answered by Pink1967 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would just say "He's adorable, but I just don't feel comfortable holding very small babies." I have two kids, and that would have been enough to stop me from trying to get someone to hold them. It sounds very similar to what you said, except it takes it out of the "I would if I could" realm, which is how they're interpreting your saying you don't know how or you're afraid you'll drop them.
I notice you're getting a lot of suggestions of excuses, but consider how your last excuse went over. Now if you say you haven't washed your hands, they could ask you later. If you say you think you're coming down with a cold, they could ask you another day. If you say you aren't comfortable holding small babies in the same breath as you compliment their baby, it's not offensive, but it's clear and it addresses the actual problem.
By the way, under what circumstances are you being pressured to hold a baby? It occurred to me that if it's like the only adults around are you and the mom, and she needs to use the restroom, she may be asking you to hold the baby to give her a very necessary break. You don't have to do that, and shouldn't if you don't feel comfortable, but would you be willing to entertain a baby for three minutes or so if you aren't having to hold it? If the mom would lay the baby on the floor, you could sit with it and make faces, sing, talk to it, whatever.
2007-06-06 12:16:34 · answer #2 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is very simple and there is no chance of hurt feelings. You say "Oh!, I would LOVE to but I am coming down with a cold, I have been sneezing all day and I don't want her to catch it!" No mother wants her baby exposed to a cold or the flu so she will no longer want you to hold her baby.
I have the opposite problem ( sort of!) I want to ask people if I could hold their baby but I am afraid it seems pushy! Anyday that I get to hold a baby is a red-letter day for me!
I hope my answer helped.
Love and Blessings
Lady T~
2007-06-06 12:10:28 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Trinity 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put your hands behind your back and say no thanks. If your arms aren't out, they can't let go of the baby lol!
People assume because I have kids I must love to hold all babies. Nope, not really, parents, take no as no! My SIL this past weekend kept trying to get me to hold her two month old, and I just kept saying nope cheerfully. I agree with the other ones, if someone insists I would say that you've been ill.
2007-06-06 12:27:27 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never would thrust my child into some ones arms that just said "no thank you" now if others wont listen to you, just say, I am not comfortable holding babies so i think i will just wait untill i have my own.....something simple like that!! it should work
2007-06-06 12:06:04 · answer #5 · answered by tll 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can either
A. Smile and say that you just don't feel comfortable holding the baby
or
B. Smile and say "I'd love to, but I am really late for something."
If all else fails try
C. Say "well I haven't felt comfortable holding a baby since I dropped my baby brother. " hehe - that'll prove your point.
2007-06-06 12:07:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just politely tell them that their baby is cute but you don't care to hold the baby. It's not that your scared it's just you don't care too
2007-06-06 12:06:09 · answer #7 · answered by jujl62 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them you're sick and you don't want to get their baby sick. Or just say "No, thank you, but he/she sure is adorable". People will be offended no matter what. You can say "I like your shirt" and they will be offended because they take that to mean that you didn't like the one they had on yesterday. Don't worry about other people and handle your business.
2007-06-06 12:08:06 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just tell them you are not comfortable around small babies or that you are sick.
my mother-in-law refuses to hold her grand children until they are 2-3 months old because she's afraid of dropping them...she only had to tell me once and i didn't try to make her hold the baby til she was okay with their size.
2007-06-06 12:25:53 · answer #9 · answered by pocahontas80_1999 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and tell them you are not comfortable holding the baby. Or, tell them you would prefer to hold the baby when it gets a little older.
2007-06-06 12:09:25 · answer #10 · answered by Big D 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋