My husband had been ignoring me for some time, just not as attentive as before. I had tried talking to him and trying to get him to be more affectionate. I would get very upset because I thought I did something wrong. I catered to him more just to be closer to him. Well last night I decided I was through focusing on him so much, and decided to focus on myself and so I got all dressed up, and told him I would be back in an hour I had to run some errands. I came back all happy and in a great mood, and he said why are you acting like this, what did I do now, why are you so happy, etc. jokingly. That seemed to get his attention that I was not focused on him anymore, I talked about things other than our marriage. I had tried everything else to get his attention and when I diverted my attention, he was all over me. Now men, tell me why this worked?
2007-06-06 03:16:07 · 15 answers · asked by casey308 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have replied to many questions regarding this very topic and it is all about the chase. Most guys start to lose interest when there is no more challenge and I have told many to do exactly what you did. All the sudden he feels like he has to compete for your attention and affection again. The challenge is back. Think back to your dating days when he was first trying to win your heart, how attentive he was, how nice, how he would try and charm you...Why, because he felt the need to compete for your attention. When you were giving him all of your attention and focusing on him and him alone or your marriage, he felt no challenge and no need to compete. You took that comfort away from him and it ignited his competitive fire so to speak. Just be sure you do not over do it and make him wonder if you are seeing someone else, that usually gets ugly.
2007-06-06 03:42:07 · answer #1 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Because men hate clinginess..."
I disagree, each guy is different.
Remember the dressing up to go shopping? I bet if you did that around the house, you wouldn't have had to pull that stunt to get his attention. Gap sweats and other junk bumming around the house is understandable but if you're dressed up just for the fun of it from time to time, you'll get the same reaction.
I don't think its a hard to get issue at all. It's the fact that you looked hot and he was reacting to it, but like I said, each one is different. Some guys actually like their women as little flirts in public, others would rather lock them in a closet than see them be starred at by other men... to each their own.
And clinging rocks! Love to find one that does exactly that.
2007-06-06 10:26:03 · answer #2 · answered by avengress 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes when men feel smothered they back off. He notices differences and that usually gets their attention. Some men like change and some don't. Keep the changes you make positive and I'm sure things will work out.
2007-06-06 10:21:43 · answer #3 · answered by EspysMom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that, same results. Works like a charm doesn't it? It's kind of scary at first because you feel like the person will be mad, but then you say, "forget it. time for me." they come running. It's amazing how men still fall for the same tricks they probably did in junior high. Good work.
2007-06-06 11:11:12 · answer #4 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I tried really hard to make my first marriage work. But the harder I tried, the farther away he pushed me. Finally I'd had it. I just decided there was no pleasing him and started taking care of myself. He did not like it one bit. He became more appreciative, even to the point of being somewhat needy. People tend to take things that come easy, for granted.
2007-06-06 10:21:40 · answer #5 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It worked because you were dressed up (probably looking totally hot) and in a good mood. You became the person he fell in love with to begin with, right? Not the nagging, clinging wife you had become. Good work girl!
2007-06-06 10:30:21 · answer #6 · answered by Schwinn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because nothing says 'I love you' more than dressing up and acting like you are meeting someone else who makes you happier than your husband.
Turn the tables- how would you feel if he did the same to you?
I'll tell you how you'd feel - you'd be on here going, "He dresses up and leaves without saying where he is going and comes back happy! Wahhhhh!"
And everyone would be saying "Oh girl he is cheating on you big time. Kick him to the curb."
What's that line from 'Full Metal Jacket'?
"God plays his games, you play yours."
2007-06-06 10:38:01 · answer #7 · answered by salacious_crumb 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No one wants people needy and dependant on them for their happiness. You need to be a happy, interesting person before you can be an equal partner in a relationship.
2007-06-06 10:20:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I know why it worked it's call a "game" and if I have to play games in my own marriage, then WTF. I might as well be out going to clubs and hanging with my single girlfriends again. That is uncalled for. But I guess it worked so you gotta do what you gotta do to get what you want and need.
2007-06-06 10:49:30 · answer #9 · answered by Brandy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good Job! Think I'll try this one myself! Tryed catering to him yesterday. ( see my questions re: Am I being too clingy??? ) Needless to say it didn't work. Guess I'll try your route now! Good Luck! Men are tough cookies to crack! :-)
2007-06-06 10:51:31 · answer #10 · answered by Sunshine's Pic Is on 360 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋