I feel like we never see each other anymore. We both go off to work but when we come home he just goes right to the computer to chat online. He spends up to eight hours a day on the computer just chatting online. I have to beg him to spend time with me. I have told him how I feel on numerous occasions. Then he says he won't go online as much and that he's sorry, but then after a day or so he falls right back into the routine, which makes me feel that he isn't very sorry. I would just like some advice because I have only been married for six months and I don't know what to do.
2007-06-06 02:47:46 · 15 answers · asked by Brittany 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He only started being like this when we got the computer(which I'm starting to feel like I never should have got.) He used to be actieve and liked to go out. Now when I ask if we can go out somewhere he just says it will cost to much money. So most of the time I just read a book, watch tv or go for walks. Then just sit and watch him chat online. He is the only really person I know here since all of my friends are back home(I am trying to find some other activities for me to do...I am just really worried about my husband.
2007-06-06 03:20:46 · update #1
Chatting can be an addiction. I don't mean he needs to get "help" or whatever, it's just that some people see it as quiet, idle, entertainment and get a laugh out of it. Kind of being on Answers forever. As long as he's not chatting with women or looking at porn, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Obviously, talking to him about it won't work. How about if you leave during the times he's on the internet. Just go for walks or something you like to do. If he says anything, say, "well, I'd like to spend time with you but when I'm here all you do is chat online, so why stay here? If you want to spend time with me, then spend time with me. Being burried in the computer like a zombie while I sit here doesn't count as time, so make up your mind."
2007-06-06 03:05:02 · answer #1 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow only 6 months of marriage? Ask him why he married you in the first place! He needs to get off of his behind and show more attention to you. Have you asked him who he chats with? I don't see anything wrong with computers, but some people live on them and it is like an addiction. Let him know how you feel and tell him you would like for him to use those fingers on you sometime instead of the key board. If that doesn't work, tell him you will find someone who will enjoy your conversation. That is neglect plan and simple. I don't feel he should be on chat lines like that anyway, but that is my opinion and i am sure some would disagree. Good luck
2007-06-06 03:02:32 · answer #2 · answered by sweetemtation_123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the feeling. My husband is a gamer, even works for a well known video game maker. And still he comes home and plays video games or games on the computer. This used to bother me a lot. But I realize that it is his thing that interests him, me I like books. So I don't let it get to me as much, and we talked and have a simple understading. He needs to pay attention to me and the girls some time of his day also. If I ask him to take out the trash he does as soon as possible. I will tell him " can you turn off the game for a little bit and give the girls a bath while I cook dinner" or something like that and he does. Now that we both understand eachother it is easier. So talk to him tell him you feel left out, and you understand this is his thing, but you need him too.
2007-06-06 04:09:34 · answer #3 · answered by gemandjam2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is definitely a problem if you have to beg your husband for his time(especially after only 6 months of marriage). Was he like this before you got married?I really don't know what to say since you have had numerous conversations with him about it and he still won't change for more than a couple of days maybe you should try counseling for his Internet addiction and marriage.
Who is it that he is wanting to talk to so bad that he takes time from his wife to talk with??
2007-06-06 03:04:34 · answer #4 · answered by Natasha T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
chatting online????? with who??? I would be worried if he was chatting away. Spend more time with him then if he won't spend time with you. I bet if you sit next to him all day while he's on the computer, he'll spend more than enough time with you. You have to get all up in his business......sit there while he chats and if he asks you what you are doing....tell him "Spending time with you." laugh too if you want. I'm pretty sure his routine will change quickly. If you want to give him a taste of his own medicine, then you should hit the computer before he does and stay on as long as you want. lol....why not?
2007-06-06 03:00:26 · answer #5 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree w/ cancelling the internet service but on a serious tip you need to sit him down and see why he feels like he should get his intimacy and communication from others on the internet. and only 6 mos into the marriage. i mean have you been together for such a long time that he felt married already so for there there's no newest to the marriage. i would suggest marital counseling for you both and it's very possible that he has a sexual addiction that needs to be addressed or you may have more problems on the horizon.
2007-06-06 03:14:29 · answer #6 · answered by freedom fighter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell Me the truth. Between You and The Computer, which one of You has the better legs? Does He remember?
The Man is expanding the horizons of His environment. Wait until He gets to a Level 5 and realizes that there is nothing else worth doing on the computer. He will come back to You.
2007-06-06 21:45:54 · answer #7 · answered by Ashleigh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, once I was reading the same story about an Iranian couple.Nowadays many people are addicted to the internet.I think the solution is to cut the wire of the PC, but then there's a danger.PC-addicts seem to think of their PCs as a human being.Any damage to his PC would bring about serious problems.My suggestion is to persuade him to visit a psychologist.He should give up his addiction gratually.Try to think of new exciting activities.Go out together.Whatever you do avoid cancelling the internet.Addiciton needs to be dealt with gratually.
2007-06-06 02:55:49 · answer #8 · answered by Peace-seeker 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. This is SERIOUS since the two of you have been married such a short time. However, I'm sure you knew this about him BEFORE the two of you got married, and it was okay with you then. All you can do is talk to him again, and ask for a commitment this time to change, not just words.
2007-06-06 03:01:48 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and that i the two artwork throughout the day. We share accountability for buying our daughter up and arranged interior the morning. After artwork, I make dinner, we consume as a kinfolk and then we play till our daughter's bedtime. Then we do the different stuff like sparkling, laundry, enjoyed ones projects, watch television. ninety% of non-artwork time is kinfolk time. a minimum of in our abode.
2017-01-10 16:01:30 · answer #10 · answered by aggie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋