I have told her my needs over and over and she doesn't do anything about it or even wants to talk about it. She bailed out and we see each other at her convenience. She wants her cake and eat it too. I am getting nothing out of this relationship, but I still love her.
I told her I'm ending it; and all the reasons why I'm ending it. It's hard to do; but I can't keep going on like this. I think 7 months is long enough for her to decide what she wants.
Am I wrong for doing this?
2007-06-06 02:31:37 · 19 answers · asked by Keeper 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If she left and you have been letting her see you at HER convenience and you have been available to her and pursuing her, then you have made a mistake. You are letting yourself appear unvaluable and she is using you like a doormat. Set some boundaries, start getting a life that doesn't involve her. Let her know that when she is ready to address some of your needs, you will be available to her. Otherwise, you will be directing your attention on your own life and not on her. And then do it. You will find that the more you focus on yourself and your personal, internal happiness outside of your relationship with her, the more content you will become. It may bring her back or it may not but in the end you will win either way because you will be happy on your own.
2007-06-06 02:46:07 · answer #1 · answered by Jbuns 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
some ppl just need more time to adjust to things, but if u think u r being unfair to urself then there's no reason to sit around and wait on someone who may not ever come around. if u end things, there might be a possibility of her seeing what she's losing and then u can begin to put things back together if u choose to. also, r u sure that what ur asking of her isn't too much for her at this point? if there's any way u can get her to talk to u about this, i would do it just so u would have a better idea of where she stands. but if she won't talk then maybe she's not ready to put the same effort into the relationship as u r. if u've done ur part, then there's nothing u can do but move on and let her decide if ur relationship is important enough to her to make the efforts she needs to make too. Best of luck to u!
2007-06-06 02:39:53 · answer #2 · answered by ilovemysoldier 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are stupid for even waiting around 7 months. The reason why she is eating her cake, is cause your letting her. Once she broke up with you, you should've left her alone. Let her do the begging to come back. That's the way it should be. You love her, well by the looks of it, she doesn't care about you. If she did, she would've realized she made a mistake a long time ago. I'm not trying to be insensitive, but you have to wake up and smell the coffee. She's not coming back and as soon as you realize that, the better off you'll be. Why would you want a woman like that in your life? Cut all strings. Don't even tell her. Once you leave her alone completely, she might realize she made a mistake. And if she doesn't, oh well. Don't you think you've dedicated enough time to a woman who doesn't deserve it? You let her walk all over you because your sprung....love or not...sometimes you have to think about yourself and I think this is one of those times. I would never let my X leave me hanging to decide whether or not he wants to be with me. No lost love, just a lesson learned. Move on.
2007-06-06 02:48:46 · answer #3 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most definately not. When it comes to real relationships, its a give and take situation. Have you tried sitting down and talking this out? What are her needs etc. If things haven't changed in 7 months, then I don't think they will ever change. I wish you the best, and good luck.
2007-06-06 02:35:44 · answer #4 · answered by God Bless America 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you must be going through some tough times right now but you have to be strong and do what is healthier for you. Sitting around waiting for her phone call is only hurting you!! You have given her plenty of time and it's obvious she doesn’t care too much. You need to stop talking to her and let her see that you are serious. She will eventually realize not to take you fro granted.
If she doesn’t come back then you have to learn to let it go. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you?
2007-06-06 02:48:35 · answer #5 · answered by Traviesa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only way he can settle for it fairly is via you no longer being so marvelous and expertise in direction of him being on your existence nevertheless!! i comprehend it sounds harsh yet to be certain that him to pass on you will could placed far between you!! it fairly is great that he and you the two decide to stay parental figures for the infants!! inspire that all and sundry you may!!! once you do communicate over with him attempt to maintain the communication with regard to the youngsters!! do no longer ask him how he's?? as long as he thinks which you have any form of emotions for him (any sign at all of it ) he won't be waiting to enable pass and pass on!! tell him that finally you would be waiting to be purely good acquaintances elevating their young infants at the same time!!! do no longer pass back to him just to make him happy via fact you will at last resent one yet another and the subsequent time you attempt to chop up it may no longer pass so properly!!!!!!!! If a chop up up is finished in anger it fairly is a lot worse on all and sundry fairly the youngsters!! So artwork with what you have now!!! Make it as superb you may - possibly you may stay acquaintances - your infants and everuone could earnings maximum from this!!
2016-10-29 07:33:37 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. You are doing the right thing. Seven months is plenty of time to either make a committment to working things out or decide its over permanently.
2007-06-06 02:34:52 · answer #7 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's hard to answer since we don't know the reason why you're separated but it sounds like you either need to get marital counseling or speak to a divorce lawyer. it seems like she's being selfish or you've cheated and she can't get over it. i think it's time to be honest w/yourself and start accepting that your marriage may be over. it's been 7 mos and she's still not back . she's trying to tell you something. it's time to move on. you both deserve to be happy and it seems like you're both miserable. take care.
2007-06-06 02:42:08 · answer #8 · answered by freedom fighter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's no better. When you separate, it's supposed to be apart - but you come a-running every time she crooks her finger. She's happy with the way things are. Why should she change? She's got you coming at her beck and call - but doing nothing to make things better from your persepctive.
And you put up with it? wow.
So file already.
2007-06-06 02:36:51 · answer #9 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no if she wanted you and wanted the relationship to work it would have been sorted out by now
you both have to try and if she is not willing to compromise for your needs as well as hers then its time to move on
7 months is a long time to be left dangling
get on with your life without her and enjoy it
2007-06-06 02:35:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋