Is it hard to move on after you have had a great lover?

Question

Lets say you had a very passionate lover who made you feel like you were on cloud nine in everyway when you made love. lets say you and this lover were very close and had fun together. But for some reason you split up. How do you move on after a great lover has exited your life?

Answer 1

I did not write this, but looked it up for you on Google...hope it helps!
All the best to you!

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Let Go and Move On
How to face facts when it's really over

by S.K. Smith
Published: 06/05/2007 Send This Article To a Friend



Ah, lost love… Ouch. As anyone who's ever suffered a broken heart knows, it's not uncommon to spend weeks, months, and even years mourning a relationship gone wrong. In fact, some psychologists say that breakups are even harder to resolve than deaths, because you know the person you've lost is still out there… just not with you!

While it's true that healing takes time, if you're one of those people still holding a torch long after the embers of hope have burned out (and stopped smoldering), it's time to face facts: your ex is not coming back. What can you do? It's obvious. Reclaim your life and find love again.

Get a clue
While it's easy to convince yourself that you're not hanging on, that your ex really will be back (after all, you're still in contact!) take a step back and consider what sort of contact it is that you're in. If you're speaking frequently and actually discussing the possibility of reconciliation (or even reminiscing but with concrete possibilities for getting together - like concrete as in dates), getting back together might actually be in the cards. On the other hand, if it's been years since you've split and he or she emails you once every few months, don't mistake it for a burning desire to reunite. They're checking in, seeing how you're doing - they may even be flirting. But they're not professing their undying love.

Hold back
Other clues that it's probably time to let go include your ex getting married, your ex not returning your calls or responding to your heartfelt diatribes with two-line replies. And, if your ex asks for (and/or obtains) a restraining order, you're probably in this alone. Naturally, that last one's a joke… but sometimes our obsessions can become so intense, that a self-imposed restraining order on our thoughts might be helpful! Unfortunately (or maybe not - depending on how you look at it), only you have the power to change the way you're thinking - and to refocus your energy on yourself.

Good and bad news
One of the silliest things we human beings assume is that we shouldn't think about our ex-lovers. Why would that be the case? Even if you've fallen head over heels with someone new, it's natural to have fond memories of someone you once loved - and in some ways, to continue to love them. Certain people will always hold a special place in our hearts, and remembering that is a great way to honor what you once had together (after all, it's a part of your life that made you who you are). Likewise, unless your ex-lover has amnesia or Alzheimer's, he or she probably thinks of you, too. But that's where it ends - or at least, where it should end.

Rehab
Odds are your addiction to your ex - and that's what it is, an addiction - is one sided. Even if it's not, you still need to break it. Two burning torches do not add up to a lasting, healthy relationship. And by living in the past, no matter how sweet it was (don't forget, we all tend towards rose-colored hindsight), you're not only deluding yourself, you're depriving yourself of the present. While that's bad news in and of itself, what's worse is that you're delaying your next love!

Answer 2

Dear Sam D :
Excellent question and eventhough I'm the 9th respondant, I can tell I had the same.
Ten years after I remember amazing details... Like if it was last night!!!
I'll tell You, You'll never forget... Time and distance may temper those feelings into warm memories for life...
Then later on, when You get to become someone else's true love, You'll learn this new She is much more fortunate, and Your character will grow stronger, and a mature form of love will develop from all this...

Good luck! Bear hugs! ;-)

Answer 3

the emotional stuff will soon overpower the physical.

I've heard it said that a man would rather meet the love of his life than have 6 months of great sex.

Hope you meet the love of your life.

If she was it, then get her back.

I was with a guy who was a fantastic lover, but was emotionally abusive. The sex was great (when he wanted it, not when I did). In the end, that just kinda fades compared to other more important aspects of a relationship.

Answer 4

i understand what u r saying... it is hard at first... but after a while, its like u still care for that person, but it doesn't hurt as much as it did. after the split, u just need to get out & have fun... maybe with friends, and other people. dont stay in the house and think about it... then all u r is depressed. so, go out and try ur hardest not to think about it! its hard to do, but it'll work eventually.

Answer 5

Don't worry, there are plenty of great lovers out there. You'll find another one who can put you on cloud ten :)

Answer 6

Concentrate on the sex part of it not the love part. Once you can do that then you can use it as masterbation material, this will diminish the importance of that person in your life as a love interest.

Answer 7

you just move on man.....later when you have not so great lovers you come to value the one that was great with a touch of sadness and hope that you will meet someone who with who you will have as great a connection as with her...

Answer 8

Only in the beginning, after sometime you will get along...

Answer 9

You don't. :(