I am married mother still in love with an old flame. What can i do?

Question

I have 2 kids but i'm in contact with my old love and discovered i'm still very much in love with him than with my husband.

Answer 1

Walk away from the old flame now - disaster beckons - it's not love - it's lust - there is a difference

Answer 2

I can totally understand where you're coming from. It's so easy though to fantasize that life would be so much better with the old love than it is with a husband that you've grown so comfortable around that it's almost boring. The grass isn't always greener on the other side and ending a marriage to jump in to a relationship with someone new (regardless if it's an old love or not) is just asking for disaster.

My old high school boyfriend and I have been in contact. He is married and so am I. I set ground rules from the get go. I came out and asked him if his wife knew we were in contact...so there isn't any misunderstandings. Even though I still care about him a lot after over 20 years, I wouldn't want to hurt anyone (as in his wife or my husband). I enjoy being in contact with him and there are times that the old feelings sort of come back, but I'll never act on them.

So, if I can give you any advice, it would be to step back from the situation and give yourself some time to sort out your feelings. You are probably feeling more intensely for him because of a stressful (or mundane/boring) home life. Your old love should understand and want you to be happy, regardless if it is with him or your husband....if he loves you as much as you feel you love him.

Mark my word....if you were to leave and be with your old love, you would soon find that he too leaves the toilet seat up, farts, belches, takes you for granted... and basically is a man with faults as we all have them.

Answer 3

I don't know how long you've been married for but it just sounds like you and your husband have settled into just being a regular married couple but you need some excitement in your life. Rather than focus on an old flame, why not focus on rekindling the passion in your marriage? The relationship with your old flame ended for a reason. Let it be.

Good luck

Answer 4

What happened to the vows on your wedding day. Your are married with kids. What about the kids. There is a lot at stake here. This old flame is just a fling. If he was important to you at one time how come it didn't work out. Think about it. You have changed, matured and grown up since. He hasn't.

Answer 5

You need to consider this carefully. What you may be feeling is the carefree fun you had with your old love. Now you are married and have 2 children. You need to ask yourself if your old flame is interested in marriage and devoting his life to you and your children? I would think the answer is no. You need to consider your children and husband. Sometimes we long for the days when we just had fun and no responsibility. Think about this carefully. You are not just making a decision for yourself.

Answer 6

Think carefully.
I am with my OLD FLAME...NOW....and what I have discovered is that neither one of us is as HOT as we once were...and he has developed some very peculiar ways of being that he was not yet being at the time we met!

If you leave, what will that teach your children...this is not a judgement, just a maternal thought, will they learn thru thick and thin is the way to keep a commitment?
I will keep high thoughts for you, my dear, I know your struggle.

Answer 7

I was married and still was terribly in love with my ex. I firmly believe that one of the reasons my marriage didn't work was because I was comparing my husband to my ex. Things weren't the same, it wasn't the same kind of love and trust.

Being in love with my ex had a very big part in my marriage falling apart. I wasn't in touch with my ex either. It was just knowing that he was out there in the world somewhere, and I didn't know what had happened to him. It was an open-ended question mark for me............... Turned out to be the best thing possible, but it was part of how it came apart.

Unless you're willing to get divorced, fight for custody, etc.....you need to terminate contact. I didn't find my ex until about 3 years after being divorced already.

Answer 8

sounds like you want to rekindle the feelings that you had when you were young however time moves on and you should be older and wiser do not jeopardise your family and what you have now for old memories of romance
you probably feel stuck in a rut and should try to talk / explain to your husband that your not happy without revealing all the details

Answer 9

i am still in love with my first wife even though we have been divorced for years, i also love my present wife. it is possible to love more than 1 person, maybe in different ways but it does often happen, i guess your big problem is that you are trying to decide which one to be with, i have a happy life and have 2 loving ladies, get the best of both worlds and stop taring yourself apart, at the end of the day your happiness has to come first, that way you won't have any regrets. good luck.

Answer 10

Unless you did not believe in the vows you took, unless you do not believe in marriage, then you should stop contacting your old flame.....

What was the reason you and your old flame broke up? Maybe you broke up for the right reason....

Answer 11

he's no longer too happy or he does not have written her. in the journey that your spouse is depressed it may be consumer-friendly for her to be tempted by using techniques of what might have been. i could touch him and locate out what's intentions are. tell him your spouse is having a disaster and his letter has brought about added misery. tell him he desires to firmly tell her that he does not intend to pass away his spouse for her so she can supply up fantasizing approximately it. get some couples councelling. i wager his spouse could hit the roof if she knew he wrote this variety of letter. individuals do by no potential positioned something on paper or digital mail you does not want others to study.