why do they hate me?

Question

I left my daughter's father almost 5 years ago B/C he had a drug problem and still does, and his family hates me..why? I told his mother I left him cause I didn't want to tell her that I found her son dead in a hotel from getting high on drugs..but today when i show up every1 walks away from me. they moved when i sat down at lunch. they only thing i said was that i hate this one kid cause he grabs my but every day. do u think they hate me cause i told them that?

It is mostly younger women my age that are so hateful, most of my friends are women 50 + years old, my mom's age. They have no problem with me I am ok with myself. And I know that what others have to say about me shouldn't matter. I also have a lot of answers for why they hate me. But, I still don't get why they hate me, and why it hurts.
I am an ex wife myself, and I have no problems letting my daughters see their father, I encourage it whole heartdly..........just because it didnt work out with him

Answer 1

Some may believe you should have felt inclined to help your husband, rather than desert him. When you married him, you agreed to be his support.

Answer 2

Did it ever occur to you that you are too blunt? That your words no matter how true are hurtful and harsh? Telling a man's family that he has a drug problem is enough of an explanation. No further discussion or description is needed. Saying that you dislike the inappropriate behavior of a child is one thing....saying "I hate that kid cause he grabs my butt." is another. The message is more accurate and less offensive and crass....and your not offending the people around you (in theory). Take a look at not only what you are saying, but more importantly HOW you are saying it. When it doubt always take the "high road" or say nothing at all. You might find that as you change your manner of speaking that you are not being avoided as much and people relax more around you. No one wants to be on edge wondering when they are going to be judged and attacked verbally and they will instinctively avoid those that appear to do so.

Answer 3

You done the right thing leaving the hubby, he was and still is on drugs. Why are you worried about his family so much? They seem to be pissed that you left him, but they didn't have to live with him ( i think ). If i were you i would cut the ties to him and the family ( only have conversations about your daughter ) Only you can live your life and i feel you made the right decision. You don't want your daughter around that kind of environment. They are acting very immature, move on, find other friends and live your life. Most important take care of your daughter. Good luck

Answer 4

I don't know your whole life story..but based on what you just told here...I don't think that anybody should be so harsh in judging you by what you did! You got out ,and you did do the RIGHT THING!
I was involved once with a severe alcoholic...thank God, I am no longer with this person...he is better...but he is sicker...in a lot of ways as well! Would I have wanted kids with this person...heck no!
I married another person with kids..and grandkids..and well, I am soooo much happier than I ever used to be!
I hope that you get away from these terribly negative folks...YOU don't need that!
You need to get away from their "extreme negativity" and by the way...it is THEIR problem..NOT yours!
YOu did the right thing...okay?
Trust me!

I think that it is great that you are positive about the kids seeing their dad...good for you!!!

Good wishes for you ,your children,and your future together! God Bless!

Answer 5

You have alot of answers for why they hate you but you are still asking? It hurts because you did nothing wrong but it feels like you are being punished anyway. I think you shjould just level with everyone. Say hey, look, I did what I did for these reasons the least of which was to take my daughter out of a bad situation. If you can't be civil to me, and show me common courtesy, you don't need to be part of our lives anymore. Your child does not need to see you getting disrespected repeatedly like that.

Answer 6

DID THEY ALWAYZ HATE YOU OR JSUT SINCE YOU LEFT? I have somany problems with my husbands family and have finally put my foot down and thats that i deserve better treatment i deserve respect and damn it so do you!!! stay away if they make you uncomfortable let them come to you ! if they dont then the h-ll with them they werent worth your time or hurt fellings anyhow!!! be the bigger person and chin up say i'm over it and this is no longer acceptable especially since youve done everything you can to hold out hope ? be strong, live dont give in!!!

Answer 7

I'm sure your ex probably fed them a lot of bs about why you left, and nothing about it being because of his drug addiction. His side will always be biased towards him, and there's nothing you can do about it. When you see them, take the high road and be polite, but keep a polite distance.

Answer 8

Family can be blind to real issues. Your ex undoubtedly filled his family with all sorts of info against you but you can't be anything other than polite when around them. You aren't responsible for how they act and you needn't be hurt by it. You left a druggie....smart move.

Answer 9

They wanted YOU to deal with a member of the family who has always been a problem and you instead thought your life was worth more then that. That is why they are mad at you. You didn't sacrifice yourself for their problem child, your ex...

Answer 10

there are 2 sides to every story. his family just hears his side more often.
so just let it go, it will get better over time. and you no longer have any obligation to them, you have yours and they have theirs. let them be petty and self centered. you are bigger than that. move on.............lose the guilt.............