Should the father of an unborn child have the right to stop or attempt to stop the woman having an abortion?

Question

You get fathers saying that they wont pay for child maintanace etc because they didnt want the kid in the first place, and usually the reply to that is it takes two to tango so tough.

But what about the other way around? Say the father wants the child but the mother doesnt? Surely that father should have a right to his child being born BECAUSE of the same argument?

It seems very selfish to me that a woman can make a man pay out of his ears for a kid he doesnt want (fine by me they should live up to their responsibilties) but if she doesnt want the kid then she can destroy the fathers life by getting it aborted.

Ok so the woman has to go through the childbirth etc, but once the baby is out then it doesnt have to be her responsibility. And if the mother is genuinly afraid of complications in the pregnancy/birth etc then ok.

(I am a woman myself and think this would be unfair for the father if a woman aborted his child because she didnt want it.)

What do you think on this?

Answer 1

The difference is that IF a man does not want to pay for a child he did not want because a woman went through with a pregnancy against the sperm donors wishes, all he has to do is to go to court to terminate his parental rights. This would also include any financial obligation to the child.
I know it seems unfair if the shoe were on the other foot and the man wants the child and she does not which is why it is IMPORTANT for people, who are sleeping with each other, to discuss their feelings towards having children to help in preventing situations like the one you described (hopefully)

Answer 2

At the end of the day, the father is NOT the one having to go through the 9 months of pregnancy, labour, and then the probable 18 years + of parental support. I should point our that there are exceptions, but for the most part, guys just don't see the whole picture, they just seem to get off on the idea of being a dad!
On the other hand, it's a woman's body we're talking about here, and since long ago, we all have the right to do ( or not do) to our bodies what we chose not what the court, or some hopeful sperm donor might have fantasised about.
decisions on raising a family should be approached from a mutual desire to start one, and preferably not after the process has begun, accidentally or otherwise. if one person doesn't want a kid and the other does, then the situation is lost anyway.

Answer 3

A question like this warrants a more grown-up venue in which to be discussed, by level-headed people knowledgable in the law. I mean, it really OUGHT to be discussed, openly, and fairly, by those who write law.

Of course, you will get two very different, very strong opinions here. Understandably!

And you are getting a star! Brilliant question!

As a woman, I have often wondered how it could be that the father is forced into fatherhood (if only financially). I don't believe, personally, that men should be able to force an abortion, but in those cases I feel he should not be made responsible for the child. As to stopping an abortion, he should have to take sole responsibilty for that child, and I don't think it would truly harm the mother to carry it to term. What a divisive question, though. I bet every answer gets both thumbs up AND thumbs down ratings!

Answer 4

Personally I don't agree with abortion at all , but in answer to your question, I think yes there should be some sort of agreement between the two. If the father can prove that he can look after the child and wants to then he should be allowed have a say in what happens and whether an abortion is the right thing to do

Answer 5

Interesting question.... however, technically the law does not see the child as a child until birth. And the father is not technically the father until (if not married) paternity is established. So he legally has no legal rights even at birth until he is established, he could be put on the birth certificate, he could sign saying he is the father but legally he's not until a court orders it. That is either by a DNA establishing paternity, an order for child support, or a default order in place showing paternity. So until one of these happen, legally he has not rights.
I personally believe if a mother does not want a child, she should not be forced to have the child. However I'm not for abotion either.
So I suppose I can't for sure answer this question, I can give the legal knowledge I know and I can give my opinion but until our law makers decided there really is no answer.

Answer 6

If the father of the child wants sole responsibility of this child, then "YES" he should have the right to stop the abortion and the mother should have to sign legal papers that she will not harm herself in anyway to complicate or end her pregnancy until the birth..She should also have to sign away her parental rights at that time also..As far as men paying childsupport, they should pay it; but if they want to see the child and the mother won't allow it , then they should not have to keep that child up unless they have truly done something that endangers them seeing the child in the first place....My husband never gets to see his daughter because of the mother being a total B****, the child was a result of an affair, but she knew he was staying with me from the get-go and still chose to have the baby..Now over 3 years later, he keeps up his support and she won't let him see the lil girl, because he doesnt want to get back with her..She has had another child by another married man since then and is also pregnant again by yet another married man..Go figure..

Answer 7

No doubt - I think the father's view should be very important in deciding if an abortion should be given - these are supposed to be the days of equal rights, and the father has no right of say over the life of his child - I don't believe that can be right.

And I definately belive in the 'takes two to tango' argument - the child could not have been concieved without the male - and either there is some responsibility held by the male or not - if the man should be responsible for the child, then he pays his dues if the child is born, and has a say if the woman wants an aboprtion.

I don't accept the 'woman has to carry it' argument, because there are consequences to people's action - and lets face it - the majority of abortions today are nothing to do with any of the 'rape' arguments.

Answer 8

I completely agree with you. If the father is willing to take full responsibility for the child, then heck yes he should have a say. It is HALF his genes, and he should have a say. Yes the woman does the carrying and birthing... So what? How could you deny a good father that precious joy in life. If he wants the baby, he should have equal rights to the baby. It is kind of a double standard, now isn't it? I think there was a law case about this, and the father lost... I can't remember. Off to google I go ;)

Answer 9

I would absolutely agree with you that a father should have a say in whether his child is aborted or not, after all he is equally responsible for the creation of the child.

Personally I would not interfere with a woman's right to continue or discontinue a pregnancy as it is all happening inside her body but I can see the fathers side as well and appreciate that a fathers paternal instinct is just as strong as a mothers maternal instinct.

I am also very impressed that as a woman you can also see the injustice of a father having no say in whether his child is allowed be born or not. Not many women in this Femminist age appear to truly understand the concept of equality.

Answer 10

good question and one that has really made me think.

firstly, it is the woman who has to carry the child..i have 4 children and my husband wont have a vasectomy. i suffered terribly during my pregnancies, with pain and major mood swings then after with post natal depression which lasted at least 3 years. i will not have another child...its not fair on me or my other children. plus my last child was disabled and this has increased the risk of having another disabled child. i love him and would never have got rid of him but i couldnt cope again.

also we are going through a really hard time at the moment, and he keeps telling me he is leaving. now if he does i will be a single parent of 4 kids, plus the one im carrying (if i was pregnant) he couldnt look after it because then he wouldnt be able to work to support his other kids. so what then? then i have 5. no thank you.

so if i get pregnant again he has the right to say i cant have an abortion?

i can see your point but if he said to me you cant have this abortion, looking at my situation, would you agree with him?

also what if a woman is raped? she may not want to report it, but just forget it...wouldn she have to let him know she is pregnant.

Answer 11

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