does he not care?

Question

My STB Ex-Husband left me a little over a month ago for his "mistress" of one week. Since, he has chosen to go to NC with her three weekends instead of see his daughter. He has chosen on several occasions other than these weekends to see her instead of his daughter. He has been planning to move to NC to be with this girl for a few weeks now (keep in mind, they have only known each other for 6 weeks!!!). Well, I find out this morning, that he moved in the middle of the day yesterday without telling me, or WORSE, not saying goodbye to his daughter! Now he wont answer my calls or return my text messages. Why is he doing this to our little girl?!?! Why does he CONTINUOUSLY pick this mistress over his own flesh and blood?!?! He has spent $2,500+ on his mistress, but a meer $210 on his daughter over the past month! Does he just not love his daughter anymore? This girl has a daughter our daughter's age, and part of me feels like he's letting THAT little girl take the place of our own daughter

i'm not getting child support yet .. i've filed for separation, but until we have an adress to serve him, no court date can be made. So it's going to be a minimum of 5 more weeks. He got $6,000.00 in 401K $ yesterday (reason why he moved) and when I asked him a week ago if I was going to get any of it for child support, his response was "i have to make sure i get MY bills taken care of first, so until i get a job probably not" -- YES< he went up there WITHOUT A JOB!!!!

Answer 1

HB,
DO YOU HAVE HIS SSN #? I hope so, it will not matter that you may NEVER get his address; however, with his SSN you will be able (post divorce) to garnish his wages where ever he is or where ever he moves to in the future. For now that does not help you one A-ota. There are enough responses here on this location now that should provide you with enough "thoughts" as to what you and your daughter do NOT mean to him.

Time to get your head on straight, your internal strength together and time to show a little intestinal fortitude. I realize this is a venting process for you (and you deserve it) but lets start seeing some real questions about your financial future and that of your daughters. Your main goal at this point should be to make it so difficult for him financially that the best he would ever qualify for is a "double-wide" next to some pig farm that exudes the aroma of what he is made of.

I will continue to follow your story - but you now HAVE to mature beyond your years and current means and become a little savy as to what you can do for YOU.

Will continue to watch, read, and see out of interest for you and your daughter.

Gerry

Answer 2

He sounds like a real winner! I am sorry to hear about your trouble. He is the one missing out on a wonderful daughter, take his sorry behind to court and get child support! It took two to have your daughter and he needs to pay for his actions. I feel you are the lucky one, i know you don't feel like it right now, but he will realize he made the biggest mistake he could ever make. And you will be free of a low life. Consentrate on your daughter and do well by her. I would not have any future contact with this sorry S-O-A-B. In time you will get over this and evenually find someone else that will love you and your daughter. You both deserve so much better. God bless you and your daughter.

Answer 3

I know that this isn't easy, but he is making it VERY clear who is now first in his life. I am sure that he loves his daughter but sometimes when people split and it's not a good one (such as yours seems to be) then it's the kids that suffer. It doesn't make it right or fair, but it just is. The only thing you can do is NOT speak bad of your ex in front of your daughter...she will learn soon enough how rotten he is w/out your being the "bad guy" in the end. If he chooses not to have a relationship w/ his daughter then it's his loss and there is nothing you can do. If you try and force him then he'll pull away even more.

Answer 4

He is an a-ho, loser and he will regret his mistreatment of his child. Your job now is to shower your child with all the love and attention she needs. Don't let that assshole decide to pick and chose when he wants to be a proper father to his child. He is either IN or OUT. When he and the mistress is done he may pop back in your childs life. Do whats best for your child and forget about him. I hope your getting chilld support, if not....get to it!

Answer 5

Does he care?

I think you already answered that question. Unfortunately you can not make someone do the right thing. The only thing you can focus on is your relationship with your daughter and raising her in a very positive and loving way.

Just concentrate on the things you can control. Good luck.

Answer 6

So your husband's a real jerk but you can't waste anymore time wondering why he is. Rather you need to keep yourself together for your daughter's sake. You also need to file for divorce so that temporary child support and/or alimony can be established.

Answer 7

HES AN A__ HO AND DOESNT DESERVE YOUR KINDNESS OR HIS DAUGHTER IN ANY CAPACITY. TRY FIGURING OUT AWAY TO KEEP YOUR DAUGHTER CLOSE AND NEVER LET HER SEE YOU GET ANGRY OVER HIS SORRY BUTT! IN THE LONG RUN YOU WILL BE THE STRENGTH THAT GETS YOUR DAUGHTER THROUGH WOMAN ~HOOD! WHEN SHE'S OLDER YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO WORRIE ABOUT HER BECAUSE SHE WILL HAVE LEARNED EARLY ON HOW TO SURVIVE AND LOVE AND BE LOVED! WITHOUT ALL THE BAGGAGE AND DISAPPOINTMENT MEN CAN BRING TO YOUR LIFE!!! CHILDREN ARE SMARTER THAN WE GIVE THEM CREDIT FOR AND THEY NO IF THEY ARE LOVED, JUST BY EXAMPLE! NO WORDS NECESSARY, SHE WILL SEE WHO REALLY LOVES HER !

Answer 8

Nope

Answer 9

Always be there for your daughter. Someday she'll thank you for not being the low life that her father is.

Answer 10

you cant do anything but keep calling because that is not acceptable!