3 yrs married...lacking interest in sex..pls. help?

Question

i feel like i'm not that interested to have sex with my husband anymore...and he complains about it ...i love him...but i dont see the sparks in our marriage anymore...i was so into him when we were still dating....my world evolves around him...but now i feel like im getting tired of him...we have 1 kid...i dont know what to do...please give me some good advice so i can return to my old self again...thanx

Answer 1

Dear woman,

Presently, the perfect answer cannot be given as I donot know the profession of you and your husband, because the length of office/ working hours of either of you or both the partners, contribute a lot to the relationship. Secondly the the attention may be diverted either due to meeting & having attraction in some other person/old days friends or change of activites which might led someone to have an casual approach to sexual relationship and last and not the least can be some biological changes in the body after your delivery, which may also cast the nagging approach.

Now let's take the above points one by one to find some solution so that once again your life is on the track:.

If either of you or both of you are emplyeed & have lengthy working hours, then it is quite natural that after days long toil in the office, it is very difficult to have any feeling for the sex. but after having full night rest, you are fresh in the early hours of morning and if your family atmosphere allows it then you can definetly utilise that time for it. Further you may have five days week so Saturday night you can make it a reunion night. If you just awake in the night then you must start touching (on the spots - you already know) your husband and bring him to the excited position. It is also adviseale to keep your self also exicted by going through the romantic magzines or viewing romantic movies.

If your interest in your husband is reduced due to the arrival of a new person or your old friend, then you must try to change your ways, because this situation will totally ruin your family life. The other person will enjyed and get away but the gilt in your soul will be like lurking thorn in the body. Try to find the attaction in your own partner, as you have already said that you very much love your husband, then you must take your self to the previous position and whatever changes you want in your husband that also you must do it. I hope you will enjoy your family life as well as your sexual life. Truely speaking the feelings regarding the sex is the creation of our own thoughts and the state of organisum is an art of "KamaSutra" which is totally in the hands of woman partner. As per the norms of "KamaSutra" male partner gets excited early as compared to his female partner, but if he is a good player then he should control and should excite his partner in such a way that there is fire in her body and she will be almost half the way before he starts. Sometimes, if an husband does not know the art then it is the duty of his wife to make the situation warm and sexy. Also try to keep your husband well dressed, looking handsome, so that every time you watch him , you feel love for him or feel like to kiss him.

Further , sometimes, it so happens that with the company of other women your activites & daily routine is shifted towards some social, religeous works, which tends to divert the attention. But one should not forget that "Carity begans from home" & "Home is our first Tample, the members are the gods & godesses", so why to go far away, first give them the required services and then serve others.

further it may be possible that there may be some biological changes must ocurred, after your first delivery, which had caused this. Consult your doctor so that some medication may be possible.

Last and not the least, it is my personal advice to keep your attention & feelings full of emotions, love and cares for your hand some partner. Enjoy every bit of life for it is boon to have a life, donot allow the sadness or negitive attitude in your life.

Once again I pray Almighty to regain you the youth, emotional feelings of love to bring on the track you have left or forgotten.

I have tried my hard earned experience to answer your question, which may bring the shower of hope in your life.

With warm regards & wishes,.

a.s. bhutani

Answer 2

My wife had a thyroid problem, I had her go to a doctor to see if she would at least talk to the doctor and maybe tell her he problem before it became serious.
Her thyroid was all messed up. She's on a pill now and back again.

I would start with a physical, then maybe a sit-down with the husband and talk to him.

I wouldn't get into this but, did you know that sometimes pre sex can be just as stimulating as the actual act. Maybe your both getting a little tired and should have more rest before sex, maybe going to a hotel or motel that has a swimming pool, a hot tub, go yourself and start over.
Try stimulating him, see if he reciprocates, do whatever comes to mind, rent an X rated video and do what comes naturally. I think, believe this or not, these videos have saved several marriages. Try it, just once.

Answer 3

That is very sad, and pretty common... Chin up! You are not alone.. Best advice I can think of is this.. Spend the day fantasizing about him, spend the night creating erotic fantasies (with him in mind) Get a babysitter for the evening, dress up in something sexy!! No you won't look silly! You will feel very sexy and when you notice that he notices it will be a very big turn on! Tell him what you want him to do and perform for you! Don't be shy and don't hold back! Get kinky and speak your mind! Dominate and submit.. Ask him what turns him on, ask him to help you with a fantasy turn on, help his fantasy come true.. (invest in some adult toys) IT WORKS! You both will wake up cheery and in desire, lust and love for each other again.. DON'T let it ever get boring.. always introduce new things into your encounters and never allow yourself to feel silly or worried.. He will be very excited! and this will excite you, chain reaction that never stops! YES you can become aroused by your husband again! It's a beautiful thing and you two should enjoy every moment of alone time you can get together... Life is too short to keep your body to yourself.. Share it with your husband!!! Good luck!!

Answer 4

I would sit down and have an honest talk with your husband about how you are feeling right now. Do you want more attention from him or for him to make romantic gestures to you more often? Do you feel like he is not chasing you anymore? Do you not feel sexy anymore since the baby was born?

Tell him that you need the spark back. You need to feel like you did when you were dating. He needs to take you out again (leave the baby at home with a good sitter) maybe a romantic dinner or a weekend getaway just the 2 of you? He needs to jump in there and do something to put the spark back for you.

You need to be honest with yourself and him about what you are feeling. Is it lack of attention? Lack of appreciation? Lack of help with the baby? Need more alone time once he gets home to take care of yourself after taking care of the baby all day?

Sometimes husbands need it spelled out for them, They are not mind readers so figure out what you need or what you are missing and then go to him and tell him. When he gives you what you need and lights the fire again. the bedroom problems will take care of itself.

Answer 5

You could amp up some teasing... you know the way you dress or making veiled comments ... that sort of thing but if he doesn't get the hint then you are gonna have to come right out and tell him that you are ready to move it to the next level. Waiting around for him to make the move is just gonna make you nuts. Go get him .... but be aware that he might turn you down . If he does at least you won't be living in a frustrating limbo anymore. Move on and let him go find the sexless thing he apparently is looking for. Good luck.

Answer 6

It can be that you are just tired of the daily routine and you need to spice your sex life up. You and your husband should get away for the weekend without the baby. Check into a nice hotel go to dinner have some drinks and take it from there.

Answer 7

u only need a relax.its normal and can be happened.
but dont think in negitive manner.try to change ur way of life a little bit so u can feel better.
try to find some good and positive hobbies to divert ur mind.
my dear its all the game of mind,now its upto u that how u use ur mind.u can go for either good or bad.
think about ur kid,husband.
he loves u that more imp
so try to divert ur mind in some positive activity.i'll suggest that you shud discuss this with ur husband and i am sure that you will get out of this problem with his help

Answer 8

Definitely try some toys. They are fun. Use them together for a mutual experience. Warm yourself up a little in the bath before your couples time.

Answer 9

1-learn her what you wants to do during sex , let her to change their mackup.continously,
2- go away to other city without her and talk with her by teleph
without make relation with other women
3-remaber her kindness and not her agressiveness aginst you
4-rember your hardness aginest her
5- alwayes dont see her necked ( without closses ) just for some time .
6- sleep away from her .
7- do not trace her nagative things
8- Avoid to smell from her bad smell
9- during her pregance or dellever her baby be carefully to see her in nagative attraction

Answer 10

first of all you have to figure out why? what is the main thing that turn you off . you need to be honest to yourself because the problen lies within since you are the one that's not satisfied. it's not fair to your husband if he's still satisfied with you. what's your problem?