My sister lives far away and wants my son to be the bearer. He has always been been both my older sisters favorite of my 3 kids.I DO NOT want him to go.I am not ready for him to travel so far without me yet and without his sisters being included. He said to me that he DOES NOT WANT TO FLY. He's not fond of heights and i want to be with my son on his VERY first plane trip when he feels comfy to do so. My sisters are pressuring me saying i need to let him see the world..and what i NEED to do with MY son ALways.She wants to keep him for a few weeks and im not down with that.1st of all, I have NEVER met her husband. I'm not comfortable with that. I am not one to drop my kid off with people i dont know especially so far away. he i have 3 kids,and the2 girls are never included.HE is the favorite 1they want to do things with all the time. Before i had any kids i made a promise to myself that i would NEVER let any of my kids feel left out. the way i was. They only want him to fly out
2007-06-04 19:49:06 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I grew up being left out all the time and i promised myself that my children will not be forced to do something they didnt want or one child would get to do something that another couldnt. I dont play favorites it sucked with me growing up and being left out. No matter what i ell them, Im not right, Im not letting him see the world. hes only 9 for god sake. We Hubby and I do things together as a family. and they dont think thats right. She thinks shes persuading me by saying i could use the break and uh,no if she wants to give me a break take them all but she refuses. Why do they always pick him.Im so sick of them trying to control how I raise my son with the hubby and im too overptotective. They need to get their own kid and stop trying to raise mine. My son has told me he does not want t go, does not want to fly hes afraid. I want to be with him on his1st flight when he is ready.How an you explain to your sisters that you have your reasons and hey need to respect them in a nice way
2007-06-04 19:56:12 · update #1
yes, i feel very guilty because they are making feel as if im not doing whats right for our child. growing up My sister a patt had a son and Karen had a daughter they only wanted me around when they needed a FREE babiesitter but when it came to going to disneyland , sixflags, California i wanted to go with them but they always told me they didnt have room for me. I was always left out. Theugly duckling and that hurt a lot. If I give them an answer they dont want to hear they grill me on it untill i give in so they will shut up. I do not want to make my son go if he doesnt want to. they are not gonna back off so easily. They are evil enough to sneak him out of the house and take him anyway saying im going to take marc to the park or the movies and end up doing what they want to do with him. You guys are all right hes my hubbys and my child and he has siblings that are like "why cant I if Bobo gets to go? the fastest way to get them off your back would be????
2007-06-04 20:07:21 · update #2
It sounds like a pattern has already developed...what your sisters want, they get, and your feelings don't matter. I'd guess that you've already given in to them way too often.
It's time to break this pattern-NOW!!! If they think they can ask you to send your 9-year old son on an airplane trip alone, when he has parents and sisters, they must either be insane, or-more likely-have gotten their way with you so often, they didn't even think of what a ridiculous request they were making.
Stand up to them-Now. Besides the way they feel comfortable treating you, their way of favoring your son could end up alienating him from his sisters, causing jealousy, feelings of superiority-sound familiar? Your children will only suffer if this pattern is allowed to survive into their generation.
By all means, don't let this 'seeing the world' excuse intimidate you.When he's ready-not at their convenience-take him, along with his sisters, on his first airplane ride. He'll be much more comfortable with his own family!
If they have hurt feelings, so be it! It doesn't sound like they take yours into account very often. Time to take charge of your own family...your three children need you as an example more than your sisters need you as someone to use, intimidate, and walk over. If they persist in this request, stop accepting their calls. Your kids need you more!
2007-06-04 21:00:43 · answer #1 · answered by Levone 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems as you've already answered your own question, and you just need some reassurance that you're decision is acceptable. Go with your maternal instincts. If you don't feel good about this, there is absolutely NO reason why you should make your son go through with it, especially since it's something he doesn't want to do in the first place!
If you are able to, you should accompany him. If not, let him wait a few more months, or years, until he feels he is ready [and until YOU are ready]. Who knows, maybe this bad feeling you have could be some supernatural omen (if you believe in that stuff) hahaha. But seriously, trust your instincts. Your sisters need to respect your concern for your son and his safety, and your answer is not unreasonable whatsoever!
Hope that helps!
2007-06-04 20:02:00 · answer #2 · answered by frosty 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go with what matters most to you....your children's feelings and fears are more important than pleasing your adult sisters' wishes.All your reasons for not wanting to let your son go there are more than justified in the info given. It's ok that he's their favorite,but not including all your kids for normal-type visits is unfair and certainly not how you want it to be.You're going with your gut feeling,as well as using Mother's instinct.You and your kids will be better for it,and your sisters will either understand,get over it and get it right, or they will miss out.I'm guessing that they have no kids of their own,right?Good luck,and you seem to be a fine Mother!
2007-06-04 20:11:32 · answer #3 · answered by heavy_metal_glocknroll 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's YOUR son not theirs and he himself said he doesn't want to fly. I wouldn't feel comfortable to having one of my kids fly without me. A few weeks is a very long time and to leave your child with a stranger. I would ask him and make sure he really doesn't want to go. Just tell your sisters he's not going because he doesn't want to. It's your kid.. not theirs.
2007-06-04 19:56:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he doesnt want to go, and you dont want him to go, then dont make him go. Your sisters will have to get over it and they will soon enough. They cant stay mad at you forever, and besides they should have invited the other two kids as well its only fair. I think your right to make it so that none of your kids ever feels left out.
2007-06-04 19:56:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that if they want your son there, they will have to include you and your other children. Tell them that you are not going to allow your son to fly anywhere without you, and that you don't appreciate them excluding your other children. Too bad if they are angry. Those are your children, and you have the right to do what you feel is best for them!!!
2007-06-04 19:55:08 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well, your sister's and you have always had this dynamic of them getting their way. when you just say no to matters of your family and your values as opposed to theirs...maybe they begin to see that they have no 'effect' on you. may take years, but if they are still acting this way and your son is now 9..you have yet to put your foot down. your rules are that he doesnt fly alone, with his sisters, alone without you. then suggest someone else to bear the ring.
2007-06-04 20:02:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your guns, your son will get plenty of chances to "see the world" when he is ready. My response to my sisters would be "You've got to be kidding!
2007-06-04 20:23:17 · answer #8 · answered by sbyldy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Eventually, you'll have to tell your sisters that it's YOUR son and YOUR decision. Period. Tell them you don't appreciate them pressuring you and if they continue, the entire trip's off.
Then don't let them argue the point.
2007-06-04 19:57:24 · answer #9 · answered by Thegustaffa 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know what a sweater is?
Is a garment a mother puts on her son whe she is cold.
If he does not want to go, why force him?
2007-06-04 19:52:48 · answer #10 · answered by polainaz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋