Matt and I have been dating/have known eachother for a month on the 11th. The 27th will be our official bf/gf anniversary. It's exactly the same anniversary as my ex-fiance and I. Matt asked me to be his girlfriend on what would have been Nathan's and my 1-year anniversary. We were supposed to get married next Saturday.
I really want to tell Matt so that he doesn't feel like I'm keeping anything from him. It's gonna be a hard day for me and I want Matt to be there for me. I also want to be able to confide in him, but I don't know how to say it. I'm unsure of how he'll react. I think of Nathan a lot and cry about him, but I really want it to work out with Matt. I keep praying that God will make us fall in love and Nathan will disappear from my mind, that what we had won't matter anymore. What do I say? How do I bring it up or where do I put it in? How much detail do I give? How will he react? How long should I wait?
2007-06-04 19:38:07 · 8 answers · asked by joshuarenae 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know I'm not over Nathan (he was my husband in my heart), but we're never getting back together. Breaking up with Matt is only going to give me more reasons to be lonely and cry. I plan to move on with Matt. He is not a rebound. He is a man who I respect. He deserves to know because I believe in complete openness and honesty. He needs to know where I've been and that I have been hurt, am scared to let go and love again, but that all he has to do is stick with me and love me, and I will change my mind. I will fall for him if he lets me and is there to catch me when I do. I just want to know how to tell him.
2007-06-04 20:37:52 · update #1
by the way, I started dating Matt almost 2 months after Nathan broke up with me, so there was space and definitely no cheating. not that kind of girl. =)
2007-06-04 21:16:10 · update #2
He has you now and you are happy with him so he should not feel threatened about your previous relationships. A great, caring guy will support you and help you through things, and ultimately make you forget about anyone else.
Just be straight with him, but sensitive too. You can just ask him how he feels about discussing former relationships. He should be able to understand that you are into him, but that it takes time to 'get over' a person you cared about enough to marry. You may always care for that person, and it's ok as long as you live in the present and spend your energy and attention on who is in front of you.
Of course, if you guys are still feeling pretty new to each other you could always try the casual "Would you believe I was supposed to be married next week?". Keep it light for sure, but that's one way to inform him without freaking him out that you're being far too nostalgic. Might even make you look composed and confident.
2007-06-10 13:25:09 · answer #1 · answered by phroggtrapp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to call of this relationship with Matt until you are over Nathan. You are carrying a torch for Nathan still which isn't fair to Matt. You will never be able to love Matt until YOU get over Nathan, praying isn't going to help since you keep choosing to think and cry over Nathan. Let Matt go so he can find a girl who won't be looking for a rebound because all you pose for him in the end is going to be hurt.
2007-06-05 02:49:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
wow! i just read the answers from the other people and i don't think i liked even one of them. people said stuff like don't tell Matt. dump Matt because you can't give him your whole heart. well i think that you should tell Matt about Nathan. you have only been together for a month. your feeling for Matt will get deeper with time. be open and honest with him. the people who told you not to tell Matt about Nathan remind me of people who get married and divorce like there is no commitment at all. don't throw away your relationship with Matt.
2007-06-10 17:00:53 · answer #3 · answered by jmd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really, it's none of your current boyfriends business. You don't need to tell him ever. As for your feelings for Nathan, you need to find some way to get over them or leave Matt. Clearly, you are unable to be in this relationship.
2007-06-05 02:59:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Poor Matt, sounds like he's your rebound.
If you're so emotional about the ex, you aren't ready to give Matt 100% of the relationship he deserves.
He should know, it's only fair.
2007-06-05 02:42:51 · answer #5 · answered by dickdamick 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Doesn't sound like you are ready for a relationship. Whatever you decide to do, tell your boyfriend about the engagement asap, the longer you wait, the more he'll wonder why you hid it, and wonder what else you are hiding.
2007-06-05 02:45:31 · answer #6 · answered by Kerry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Believe me when I say this-----HE DOES NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT!!!
Later on, if you become closer, you could mention it in passing. Right now he is concentrating on getting to know you. He does not need your history to compete with. Just avoid being around him on that day. Save him the pain of having to put up with your crying and reminiscing over the past. It would be unfair of you to do that to him. He did not cause your pain. Why should he suffer the consequences of your past relationship?
2007-06-05 02:45:53 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Why did you start a relationship with Math while you are engaged to another man? If you and Math did not date, he wouldn't be hurt by you. Now you are concerning about him? Any you are getting married on Sat? What a selffish girl you are. Just remember, you don't want to be hurt and so other don't.
2007-06-05 02:57:54 · answer #8 · answered by peteseng 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋