i've been w/my husband for 11yrs, married for 4yrs. we're in our late 20s. we hv 3 children together (all by him, of course), where our youngest is just a month old. we've been ok up until 6mos ago, when he ran into an old friend. i found out 2mos later that they were having an affair. he didn't deny it, neither did she. h/ever, she supposedly 'took responsibility for her actions' and assured me she 'backed off'. coincidentally, that's when my husband filed for divorce. recently, i found out that they're still together. btw, she has one kid herself. oh and don't worry, i'm getting him for all that i can and deserve.
but what do u guys make of all this?
2007-06-04 17:55:33 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe this divorce is for the best, he is not worthy of you...Your the mother of his children, you two were together a long time and look what he did...This will come back around to haunt him....
2007-06-04 18:08:40 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wish the world worked the way some of the answerers assume: bad people do bad things and "get theirs" in end. True, generally speaking, it is hard to make a marriage work even if it starts out perfectly. Normally, the more baggage the harder it is to make a marriage last. HOWEVER, there are too many notable exceptions to this rule. I know people who cheated on their spouses and married their lovers and lived happily ever after, even remaining faithful to the new spouse, while the jilted ex-spouse is alone, and struggling, and bitter. Life's not fair!!! If it were, your husband wouldn't have cheated on you and you wouldn't be an angry soon-to-be-divorced single parent seaking revenge. Your feelings are normal under the circumstances, and he should certainly pay his fair share of child support. But don't assume that he will "get what's coming to him," even though it may give you some twisted pleasure thinking that way. Also remember he's still the father of your children and you're going to have to have a lot of dealings with him in the future because of them, so be careful about turning him into an enemy for your sake as well as your children's. Perhaps all of the wrongs will be righted in the sweet bye and bye, but they certainly aren't always put right in bitter here and now.
2007-06-09 18:47:41 · answer #2 · answered by historybuff33 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, he will cheat on her too. Then she will go thru the same thing you are. I will say, get angry and some how try to move on. Do what you have to do court wise but remember, there are children involved. He will always be thier father. The best revenge???? Live a better happier life w/o him. I know it is hard believe me. I was stupid and took mine back time after time. Each time he swore he would not do it again. Ha that was a joke. If they do it once they will do it again. Some how, getting older has helped me. I would not dare take someone back no matter how much it hurt. Believe it or not, it will get better for you. You can't see it now but it does get better I promise. They say everything happens for a reason. I now have my best friend and soul mate going on 4 years now. We have yet to run out of things to talk about. My divorce was actually a good thing. Of coarse, I did not see it that way back then
2007-06-05 01:26:44 · answer #3 · answered by beachgoer5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, relationships that start out like that never, ever last. As you indicated, it was built on lies and sin. At best, it initiated as a physical relationship. Once that physical portion of that relationship diminishes (and it surely will), then there will be nothing left. Neither one of them can go around and proudly tell friends and family how they met. If they do, there will always be this halo of imbarrassment and deception. Plus, she will always have to deal with the fact that he is a father, who will have to pay you money, money, money for a very long time. She won't be happy with that. Plus, her child is not his and I highly doubt that (having 3 kiddies of his own) that he will want to make her kid his. At best, what he will probably do is date her for awhile until he tires of her. By that time, it will be too late for the creep because you will have your cash, keep getting your cash, and find someone so much better than that creep! You'll be happy and glad you're through with him.
2007-06-09 15:12:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'll come back. Its like the new puppy syndrome. We have our old trusty companion at home but we see that new puppy in the window and its so hard to resist and he looks so playful and cute so we buy him and bring him home, pretty soon he starts pissin on the floor and tearing things up and we wish we had our faithful trained good ol dog and thats it. A new baby causes alot of stress seems like every time my husband and I separated it was when we had a baby in the house (3 babies) I say be the best woman you can be make him see what hes losing out on and if and when he comes back continue on that path and he hopefully wont have a reason to gout pet shopping again. Then if he does it again, he needs to go to the doghouse
2007-06-11 04:39:10 · answer #5 · answered by Mom of 4 boys and twins 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be frank, he cheated on you and he's divorcing you. Continuing your marriage with him is not even an option you have, so put it out of your mind, and move on.
Think about the reasons you ended up in this situation to begin with, and try and avoid making those mistakes with your next relationship.
Good Luck to you!
p.s. To directly answer your question, Yes a relationship like that could last. There are many miserable people in marriages with spouses who've cheated on them for various reasons, and many whose partners still do. Some people like pain.
2007-06-11 20:46:21 · answer #6 · answered by Osiris Cross 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel bad for you. I have a friend that went through this. He told her he was leaving right after she gave birth to their son, their 3rd child, and by the time the baby was a month old he was gone. He then moved in with a "woman" he worked with, which he had sworn to her that he was not leaving her because of another woman, that he was just tired of being married to her. At first she cried and blamed herself for the breakup, it was weeks when she got to the angry stage and months when she went after what their children and she deserved. It was tough, but she did it and so can you. Hopefully it'll make you strong rather than bitter.
2007-06-05 01:11:02 · answer #7 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I might not like my wife most days but I would never do anything that would cost me my kids because dads get shafted in custody battles. Judges seem to assume we are all Alec Baldwin. I've seen women who were constantly in prison and on drugs get custody over fathers with a clean history and job. As for your husband sounds like you already have the right idea.
2007-06-05 01:04:08 · answer #8 · answered by archkarat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you could have gotten married about 9 years ago. The woman who declares she's 'backing off' while the husband files for divorce is typical. And a first class rhymes with witch. I think you're better off rid of him. Now let her put up with the lyin' S.O.B. and see what a prize she ended up with. Sheesh.
2007-06-12 20:17:46 · answer #9 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Pagan Dan. Try to move on, as to become more angry and bitter will change the person you were or are today. The change would not be a good one. It is natural to be upset at first, but deal with it and let it go, and you will feel better for it. He will most likley do the same thing again with his latest lady.
2007-06-05 03:02:18 · answer #10 · answered by Starwolf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋