Easy way out?

Question

This has probably been asked before but....

When marriages do you think some people get divorced because it is an easy way out? If you ask me, I would say yes, just look at the divore rates now compared to the past
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I mean have we become soo lazy that we don't want to even work out our problems? Nothing good comes easy....Just wanna know your opinion

Im not saying all because some divorces are legitamate.
but im saying are some of them just the easy way out

Answer 1

It is my opinion that divorce is used many times as an easy way out.

People go into a marriage thinking that life is going to be like it was when they are dating or just living together. But in reality both people become confident in the marriage and then they get lazy.

Instead of actually working things out, they slap on a band aid and ignore it.

I personally have been married for 22 years and I will be the first one to tell you, it is not easy.

A person has to pick their battles, and you have to swallow a lot of heartache. You have to set your self aside a lot and take care of the other persons needs. There is no fairy tale marriage every one of them have problems, But we decide, how big those problems are.

It would have to be something pretty big to cause Wayne and I to get a divorce. Not that the conversation hasn't come up in the past years, because it has and we have spent some time separated but that was early in the marriage. Neither of us have ever cheated. There has been no physical abuse.
Those would be the things that end our marriage.

People now in days, are to much into self indulgence, they want every thing to be fun and comfortable as soon as it gets sticky well it is time to go.

That is my opinion.

Answer 2

Years ago, a woman had to put up with anything that a man dished out. It is no longer that way. A man can not beat on his wife, or force her to do her wifely duties anymore. Naturally, when there is no longer a submissive person in the relationship, these things will happen. Until people start looking at the reality of marriage, divorce will continue to be a problem. The reality is that it is work. There can be no love without trust and faithfulness. There is always be temptation out there. If you are so weak that you can't resist temptation, you should not be married. If you are so selfish that you don't care about other people's feeling, you have no business getting married. Many people are choosing not to get married for that reason. People, as you said, are becoming too lazy to put the effort, and invest the emotions into making the marriage a lasting one. It is just too easy to blame each other for the failure, and leave.

Answer 3

Not only that but they are a violation of the public trust and could potentially cost taxes payers if problems occuring or if the children have development problems in school or need welfare or end up in juvenile. or become dependents of the state is some shape form or fashion...

I think people who get a divorce should be required to pay the state a penalty for violation of a civil contract that was awarded to the by the people... a marriage certificate...

this is the greatest idea... i think people should have to buy marriage insurance so if their marriage fails... they would have a party that could pay off the house or make support payments to the children... now i say to the children for a reason

if a couple divorces with insurance but without children then the couple pays a penalty to the state an splits the rest

if they have children then the children get the house, the cars, bank accounts, and any other family assets that would affect their lives immediately ... they should have a court appointed representative to monitor their accounts and payments to the accounts by both parents and the marriage insurance company... this keeps the kids in their neighborhood with their friends and in their school etc... a little trouble for the children as possible and a big cost to BOTH parents who would take turns moving in and out of the childrens house on visitations

this would work... it creates all types of bureacreacy and another type of insurance... if this happens... remember it was me you heard if from... ;)

oh and Marriage insurance would be required before a license could be issued... rates would depend on your ability to meet certain criteria... that i am sure is available... it would reduce whimsical marriages and divorces

Answer 4

The obvious answer is that divorce is acceptable now. Thirty years ago, if you divorced, it was an admission of failure. Now it' just like changing your hair color.

I don't mean to say that divorce is an ipso facto proof that one HAS messed up. It's just that the societal stigmata has gone away. The major economic factors against it (women didn't work and child support/alimony were mostly voluntary, or at least not enforced), are largely gone. This provides enormous comfort for those suffering from what is often called the "understandable divorce" circumstances (ie abuse, abandonment and substance abuse).

The downside of this is that people who wouldn't have gotten divorced years ago now do for reasons such a "I'm not happy". This may help one to validate one feelings, but have no effect on the negative consequences on the children of divorce. Recent studies show that divorce for reasons other than physical/substance abuse are actually a detriment to the child. It sounds weird (at least to someone my age) , but staying together for the kids is actually good for them (in the absence of the above named factors).

Answer 5

For some people yes it is. But for others it's not. Sometimes problems can't be worked out. I was married 20 years. At first physical and mental abuse. We was both young about 18 and 19. You start to put up walls to protect yourself. You stay because of the kids trying to make things better. But over the years nothing change you go for help and it does no good. Than one day you wake up and know that things are never going to change your self worth is gone your sick all the time, so you leave. Each person. Each marriage is different. So in my case no it was not an easy way out. It was something that I had tried for years to make work. But after my father's death I seen that life is too short and my kids was grown so it was time for me to find happiness

Answer 6

I like totally agree. It is an easy way out. But society has made it that way. You spend a million dollars to get married and a 100 dollars to divorce. So yes it is defiantly easy to get out. I am not lazy and God has blessed me with a good man and it has been tried and tested but through it all I have told myself and god I will find strength to fight on and win thus far I haven't given up and I think I have been faced with just about everything a marriage could go through in some shape form of fashion but thank god I have stood the test and will stand until he calls me home.

Answer 7

it's not that divorce has become the easy way out
it's that people truly have no idea what marriage is about nor are the even remotely prepared and thus SHOULD divorce to spare both parties from pain and misery
in fact there is no benefit to a guy to get married, he can everything that a marriages has with none of the financial and unfair no fault laws will risk of him

Answer 8

You obviously have never gone through a divorce. It is not easy and very costly. It is also harder when children are involved. So, to assume it is a easy way out, you are mistaken. I would recommend going to a court house and sitting in on divorce docket day. See how many happy faces you can find. Then come back and answer your own question.

Answer 9

If I have said it once I have said it a million times..... YES, divorce is an easy out for most..... in some cases it is the ONLY way to go, but, from what I see and observe, most just take the low road and move on and on and on...... case in point, out of my graduating class of about 100 or so, little town, I am the ONLY one who is still married to the original..... I have been married for almost 31 yrs now, when I go home for reunions, it seems everyone else has a new partner in tow, some are on their 4th or 5th now........ *sigh*......God bless

Answer 10

i definitely agree - i do think there are definite reasons for divorce, such as adultery or abuse, but look at hollywood. it seems as if each celebrity trades a spouse for a newer model every couple years. this definitely affects how us 'regular folk' view the sanctity of marriage. i don't think it is good enough to divorce because of differences - almost anything can be worked out if both partners are willing.