Calling all married peaple I need your Help!?

Question

Ok people I am in trouble I am a 27 year old married female who going nuts because I am not gettin enough sex from my husband we have been married 4 years our sex life sucks I try to spice it up by buying all type things he wont use ,he says hes tired ,he works as if I dont ,we have 3 kids which I work and take care of while he plays xbox and when i go out with my girlfriends on the weekends he will get mad but he does not take me anywhere! I am a very attractive women and the attention I get from men is unbellivable but I dont wont their attention I want my husbands,do u think he is cheatin on me?

by the way I have spoken with him about this several times.

Answer 1

I know what you are going through with the whole X-Box thing...I think that they should place a large warning sign on them "may cause divorce!" LOL! I have thought about divorcing my hubby over that thing a million times. We have been Married 4 years and also have 3 kids so I also know how hard it is being a stay at home mom. He also has issues with me going out with out him..hmmm are you writing a book about me?! LOL! As for the no sex thing I think it just might be that he is actually tired. Most men normally mean what they say women on the other hand Mean a lot of different things when they say I'm tired. Maybe you should try to find a babysitter one night out of the week and have a date night at home or outside the house. Or after the kids are off to sleep/even if he is too...sneak in there and give him a personal massage. No guy can resist waking up with guilty pleasures coming their way! As for the sex in our marrige it isnt that often..especially with 3 little ones but we try to spice it up with videos and some role playing dirty pillow talk

Answer 2

If the sex sucked before you got married then its going to continue now that you are. Some guys are weirded out by all the changes that a woman goes through when they are pregnant and give birth and that can sometimes have a effect on their sex drive. If you have talked to him perhaps you need to emphasize the importance of intimacy in your relationship. Be honest and forward with him about your needs because they matter also. Sounds like he is what you married and perhaps you expected that it would change. It could,hopefully its not, but it could be a medical condition. Does his family have risk of heart disease or hyper tension. These things can contribute to the problem or be the cause.

Answer 3

Anything is possible. But im wondering if youve communicated the importance of sex to you? Ive heard about setting time limits on things like xbox then after that you spend time together sitting at the table talking and looking at each other. Tell him you love him and need quality time, which means no tv. Try to find things you have common that you like. Maybe take him out to the bar so he realizes you are an attractive woman that is desired. Tell him you only want him. Maybe he doesnt get it, men are blind eh. But Good luck I feel for ya girl, ~ sheky ~

Answer 4

Well you say he's tired from work, and plays xbox while you go out.

I'd say its more likely you'll cheat than him, especially if you feel unsatisfied, and like the fact that you get attention from other men.

Try staying HOME with your husband on the weekend, instead of going out with your girlfriends, and trying to get some nookie.

Put the kids to bed, and put on your best nightie, and some perfume, and attack the man.

If he's still not doing anything, get a toy, and sit near him and play, so he can see what he's missing out on. That might break him out of whatever's going on.

Sounds like the 2 of you are just in a rutt, and need to get out of it. It happens to most of us.

BTW, is he playing final fantasy xi? if so what server, I always look for new friends in game?

Answer 5

I don't think he is cheating, I think he is in a rut.

Sit down when the kids aren't around and tell him that an important part of your marriage with him is your sex life and that it is a way for you both to stay physically as well as emotionally connected. Most importantly tell him that when he turns you down it makes you question everything else about your relationship. Try having a goal of once a week and after a while just try initiating it a little more.

Good luck!

Answer 6

I don't think he is cheating, maybe he really is tired. He could be stressed out about work or maybe he is feeling so type of way about his body. My husband went through a phase not long ago that was similair to your husband. I thought it was me but come to find out he was depressed because he put on a few pounds and it was affecting him sexually. Also he was having some trouble at work. After he dropped about 10 pounds he felt better emotionally and physically and he was back to his old self. Of course he never admitted that he was depressed but after talking to a professional about it they told me that men handle stress differently than women, Just talk openly with him and give him some time.

Answer 7

I seriously doubt he is cheating on you...three kids in four years? hun, he's burned out. I get the feeling that your life together, isn't what he expected it to be...he misses his life prior to marriage and he checks out as soon as he gets home with the x-box. He isn't angry you are going out, he gets angry over having to be left responsible for the kids.

I'm curious if all your kids were planned and agreed on, or if you just let him know there were babies on the way...I'd hazard a guess he isn't having sex with you because he is deathy afraid you are going to wind up pregnant again.

Why, exactly, does HE have to take YOU out? Can't you make arrangements for a sitter for the kids and plan something yourself? Maybe even a surprise get away for a weekend? Have your parents take the kids?

Time to hit the marriage counselor so the two of you can get to the real root of the problem...

Answer 8

People jump to that conclusion but don't realize how much more sexual women are than men, after they are done chasing, it's over and they get all lazy and tired. Start wearing sexier subtle things to bed but don't want to have sex, wait till he wants it and don't give in, make him feel that thrill of the chase again, with a full house, it's hard
Also, try fantasies and role playing a little bit here and there

Answer 9

honestly i doubt he's cheating on you.. i mean.. sometimes they are just tired.. but the silly thing is you already spoke with him about it.. and its still the same.. i feel for you....

i suggest maybe writing him a letter.. sometimes.. .it just doesnt click in their heads... have u ever said something over and over and over.. and they just dont understand.. but someone else comes along.. and says the same exact thing.. and BAM its like they understand it just like dat?? well sometimes they dont like to listen to us.. lol... try writing him a letter.. tellin him what your needs are.. tell him how it makes u feel when he doesnt make an effort... he should get the point after reading it...

why dont on a weekend.. when u know hes off.. not the last day of work.. but the next day after that.. so he's well rested.. go buy urself a sexy sexy lil lace teddy.. pop the R kelly 12 play cd... and just do a lil strip dance for him.. dont move to fast.. take one piece off at a time.. if dat dont spice up ur sex life.. i dont know what will!!!!!! good luck to u

Answer 10

I dont think you are alone. I have been there got the t shirt etc. Not the type of arena to share the probs I have had but i agree with many of the answers already given. In my case kids were part of the variable but also tiredness, stress, unable to express clearly how we feel and lots of other things. Been to counselling and this helped me . Happy to share more if you think it would help. Good luck and try to stay positive.