I think a lot of societies problems (eg drugs, obesity) come back to the need of individuals to deal with pain

Question

The pain usually goes back to childhood (divorce, bullying ect). I think society should be proactive and try to stop these problems before they begin by (for example) insisting couples stay together when raising children. What do others think?

Answer 1

You are very correct in one sense. Pain is the reason for a lot of deep seated issues that people have not dealt with, or are unable to deal with or don't even know they have. I also believe that the breakdown of our society in terms of education, employment, housing, chemicals in our food, FDA, wars, servicemen coming home and not being treated, and other issues have also contributed to the downfall of our family structure. As a teacher, each year I see more and more of our students deteriorating. I don't know how to help this new generation. They don't read, don't want to read, don't want to follow directions, many have no logic for the things they do, the idea of making good grades and wanting a better life does not occur to them. Many of their parents are incarcerated or on the streets as addicts. It seems to be a vicious cycle with everyone pointing the blame at everyone else.

Answer 2

Yeah right, like living in a house where your parents are fighting constantly, or not talking to each other at all because they are forced to stay together is a whole lot better than two parents living seperately that are happy? And having the kids in school all behave like perfect little stepford kids and never say a bad word to each other is really going to help prepare them for job interviews and life where there really is competition and it truly is survival of the fittest.

All kids are bullied in school at some point, or made fun of, or whatever...get over it. Life is hard. Nothing will be handed to you, you have to work for everything. Everything has a price. Learn it early and there will be no pain.

The problem with drugs, etc, is because people have lost their ability to cope with real world problems. They have gotten lazy and think the problems should just go away, instead of them having to get off their buts and work through it.

It's real easy to say well, I murdered 5 people because I was high on LSD at 40 because my mommy didn't hug me when I was 5? Get over it. At 18, your life becomes your responsibility.

Take responsibility and do what you should be doing.

Answer 3

There comes a time when onehas to grow up and get on with life. That was then; now is now.People need to realize that things DO happen and stop whining about what they can't change and stop blaming elements of the past for their present state of mind.
I have been sober for over 13yrs and I had to learn to let the past be where it is and bring it up when I hear somweone whining about how bad they had it when they were little; how mommy and daddy beat or didn't beat them, neglected them or pampered them, etc, etc, etc, etc. so that they can realize that alot of people didn't have a perfecvt childhood. Come to think of it, NO ONE I know had a perfect childhood. SO WHAT!!!
The sooner these sniveling babies realize they aren't alone and quit trying to drow the "Pain", which they usually carry around like a bag of garbage to stick into everyone's face, trying to get sympathy ( which, by the way, is between sh..t and Syphillis in the dictionary ) and get over themselves the beter of everyone will be. And if you think my life was a garden then it wold take me hours to tell you what I have lived through, but it wouldn't change it and I am blessed to have experienced what most people would have drowned with drugs to attempt to erase.
You have a good day now.

Answer 4

I'm actually really appalled at some of the answers... clearly to be making fun of what people have suffered you must never have suffered yourselves.

I would agree with the question (statement, really) that there is a lot of pain in the world and a lot of people, for one reason or another, lack the facility to cope with it. For instance, I won't tell you my whole story, but as a child I was sexually abused and neglected. There was so much overwhelming pain that I didn't know how to cope with... so I developed depression and an eating disorder. I've struggled with those two things my whole life.

I have so much sympathy for anyone who is suffering from obesity, chemical dependency, eating disorders, self injury, or any other debilitating disorder/ illness because they faced enormous pain that they couldn't cope with at the time. It's sad and painful.

Yes, there are some people who "have no reason" to have their problem, but I don't buy that. And to everyone who has no sympathy or compassion for those who suffer, I sincerely hope you never find yourselves on the other side, or that when you do, you find a new appreciation for what it's like.

EDIT: Snivelling babies? Clrearly you are not as well-adjusted as you think if you are calling people who are in genuine, debilitating pain snivelling babies.

Answer 5

What is this, Freud?

Problems arise at every step of life, not just childhood. Religion, man's answer to the Why question, created problems for society. Yet religion itself is a sustainer of certain societies.

Nor is divorce all bad for the children: some children become stronger individuals because they dont want to repeat their parents failures. I'm not promoting parents to divorce for that purpose.

It is true the the child and adolescent age is the age children are most susceptible to certain influences. Stressing education would be the most influential way.

Answer 6

Angry at 8? Therapy seems to be a good advice. Yet, not everyone can afford it. What can be done otherwise? When his sister was born, he was four, after being the Prince, alone for 4 years! The apple of the eye of his mother, I guess! Then that, a competition. Although he may love his sister, he may be so jealous at times. Often it helps when the older child arpound this age gets a baby doll to take care of, when mom takes care of the baby. Then the emotions go to this babydoll, instead of feeling neglected because of this sudden addition to the family. needs so much attention. I would observe, when he gets angry. Was there any indication of your attention toward his sister, or even mere mentioning of his sister before the anger fit? If so, he may be jealous. Beating or punishing him would only make his anger toward his mom and the jealousy of his sister worse. I would get him a punch ball or bag, he can punch hard when he starts punching mom. Or, teach him to use a padded beating stick to beat up the bed instead. Many adults have done this: motion (movement) and emotions go together. When they are separated (you cannot do that), destructive behavior may surface. When beating up the bed, emotions (anger) and motion (movement) are joined and can be released. At the sign of anger, I would send him to the punch ball and make it fun, may be at first punching together. In addition, I would set up an afternoon a week, may be only 1 hour, for mom and son. Leaving the house, doing something special he likes. He alone with mom, he will be so happy! Mom's big boy! I would make this day a week dependent on his behavior. At first, three days out of the past seven with no anger display, and mom and son will have fun together. Anger display, ooops, the meeting will be postponed. You may want to mark the events in a calendar to keep track. Thus he learns to let steam off beating the punch ball, and control his behavior to get what he likes best: being with mom - alone. Later I would make it 4 and 5 days, then 6 or a week. Gradually, so that he has a chance to make it and learn. Wishing you the best and happiness for you and your son.

Answer 7

Maybe they just like to party hard and eat like there at a Roman banquet, if they ain't messing with anybody then I ain't concerned with the way they live their life. Why are you? All I know is that I don't do drugs and I take care of myself, and could care less what they do.

Answer 8

I totally agree

Answer 9

time to grow up and deal with the hurt wimper wimper

Answer 10

I agree.