Some people say that love just happens to us and it's not something that we can control. Some say that we control who we fall in love with. What do you think?
2007-06-04 14:33:27 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Hey, Don H. I'm talking about Romantic love. You can only have one wife. You understand what I'm saying?
2007-06-04 14:45:21 · update #1
To those who say that it is "completely our choice": the fact that you fall in love (does the word "fall" suggest choice?! I don't think so) with a Bulgarian woman, you being a Bulgarian man, is not a matter of choice, but it is pure coincidence: you were born in the same country and none of you had the slightest chance to choose the country you were born in.
To the ones who believe that it is something that we can't control: you fell in love with that Bulgarian woman, and not with another one, because you decided that she is worth falling in love with based on her looks, her feelings for you and her job which brings enough money. Sad, but true. Well, actually, it is not sad, it is just natural selection.
Conclusion: the truth is somewhere in between.
2007-06-04 14:51:41 · answer #1 · answered by mrquestion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A long time ago I thought that love was something that you reserved for some special set of people that you had judged worthy of it.
After a while I got to thinking about what Jesus had said about turning the other cheek and loving our neighbor I put the two together and realized that he had made no exceptions in these statements. It became obvious to me that he intended that we exclude no one from the love that we are supposed to be giving. I started thinking about my idea of love and suddenly realized that I had not been loving anyone at all. I had simply been judging everyone and every thing.
Judging someone worthy of love is not love, it is only judgment. I actually started to cry when I realized this. I saw just how much of my life I had wasted being judgmental, thinking of myself as a Christian, when I was actually doing just the opposite of what Jesus had asked us to do.
I thought about the verse judge not lest ye be judged, and I understood it for the first time.
I realized that I have a lot of catching up to do. So many opportunities were wasted. I now try to apply the love that I have for the world in a universal way like Jesus asks us to do.
If I start to feel afraid and think that I see someone that I should not love because of something I have thought or heard I try to catch my mistake as soon as possible. I tell myself that I have forgot the truth and have fallen for the same old trick that had cost me so many opportunities to be loving in the past. The horror of this realization is often all that is necessary to bring me back to my senses and make me drop the judgmental nonsense I was thinking.
I still have a lot to learn about love, but at least I’m making progress.
Love and blessings
Your brother
don
2007-06-04 21:42:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
love is a word that has multiple meanings. I love my husband and when I first met him there was instant attraction and chemistry. We have been married almost 19 years and on days when the laundry is piled high, the kids are being self centered, the bills are larger than the balance in the check book and we are just plain worn out and ornery it becomes a choice to love. To realize we aren't living out a romance novel chapter in that moment but a commitment to spending a life together for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer for poorer.... the feelings of romance ebb and flow like the tide. We work at it. We work at a lot of things by choice. It wouldn't be worth it if there had not been some initial chemistry and attraction to begin with.
2007-06-04 21:45:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
That is a good question. When I was much younger, and much less educated, I used to think it was all choice. As I began to learn about psychology, I came to understand about the subconscious choices we make, without our being aware of making those choices. Then I went on to science classes where I came to learn that much of our behavior is inherited.
Where does that leave us now? As I look back at the choices I've made so far in life, I the ones I was happiest with were the ones that served my inner needs. So, perhaps, love is best when it seems to "just happen."
2007-06-04 21:45:41 · answer #4 · answered by Jeanne B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does sneak up on you at times. Sometimes it pounces. But, even if it's not returned, the love is in you. It's up to you to love not the other. But, respect for the other also is part of love. The power is yours, so use it wisely, for it is a powerful thing.
2007-06-04 21:40:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's completely our choices. If you love someone, it's because you let yourself be and you opened your heart to them. To be in love you have to allow yourself to let go of many things and feelings. Therefore, we choose who we give our hearts to. The bad side is that sometimes the feeling isn't returned.
2007-06-04 21:39:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
love is an emotion
and i believe it is one you cannot control.
you cant help it when you feel sad or angry towards a person.
hwo should you feelings of love towards a person be any different.
so to answer your question:
no.you cannot control it!!
2007-06-04 21:40:31 · answer #7 · answered by Beka14 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what i think is that to love another person you have to love yourself enough......
2007-06-04 21:57:38 · answer #8 · answered by Yassy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋