My husband of 8 and a half years has cheated on my 4 times and yet, I still love him with all my heart. He wants to work it out...do I stay or do I go?...it's not just us, we have 2 daughters as well. I don't want to stay just for the kids, but I was raised to forgive, forget, and move on. HELP!
2007-06-04 13:47:00 · 15 answers · asked by if you were important, you would know it 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go, all you are doing is setting a pattern of being cheated on and saying that it's OK, and this is what the kids will learn too.
How much will you forgive before enough is enough, when everyone talks behind your back since they've all been with your husband?
Ask yourself if this is all you are worth. I don't think so.
2007-06-04 14:16:23 · answer #1 · answered by Unicornrider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has cheated on you several times I would say it's time to end the relationship. Even though you have two daughters with him; somtimes people think it's in the best interest of the children to stay together, I don't believe that to be the case from personal experience. What are you teaching your daughters? That it's ok to be treated like less than nothing? A relationship is only as strong as the trust and respect given to each person. Time will help you get over the hurt and the love you feel. I think you need to be the best mother you can and show your daughters you have self respect and that it is not ok to be treated in that manner. If you were raised to forgive, forget and move on then do just that. You can for give but that doesn't mean you have to be a doormat. Move on and start rebuilding...
2007-06-04 13:57:04 · answer #2 · answered by dreday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all your concept is all wrong, forgive because then they keep part of you forever, forgetting is totally out of the picture. Don't ever forget but because you forgave him doesn't mean that you have to get back with him. That is something totally different. Staying for the kids are going to ruin your lives. He is gonna want to get out, you and the kids so please I think that leaving is going to be better for you. I normally beg couples to stay with each other but in cases where the husband is unfaithful I like to remind you and as you have seen the first time that someone do something wrong it was the hardest. Of course he is going to do it again and again, why? Because he can and he knows that you would forgive him again like the first time.
You are a good woman and you sound like you are pretty too so why stick around for him to do these terrible things. Getting over him I must admit to you would be the hardest thing that would probably be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life. But I must say time is the greatest healer and don'[t jump into another relationship unless you are sure that you are ready. Take time to yourself and take care of you for a while, file for custody after getting a nice job even stay at family for a while till you get back up on your feet. Don't I mean don't keep the man's kids away from him. But take my silly advice and remember that the first time is the hardest and also once is a mistake and twice is a habit. This man has done this thing four times he is only out to hurt you kind someone that is worthy of your love...
Best wishes for you in the future.
2007-06-04 14:53:53 · answer #3 · answered by *Pretty In Pink* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forgive, forget and move on, does not mean you have to stay in a relationship where it's obvious he has no respect for you or the marriage. Although you could have left the first time but stayed because you love him and YOU respected your family, he is showing he does not care. He saw the hurt he caused you, your tears he bought you, and he it did not bother him one bit because he did it again, and again, and again. Each time seeing the pain he is causing you and not giving a damn about you. I am very sorry to tell you but I do not think he cares. Please do not use your children for staying. They are better off not being shown what your husband is teaching them, which is, it's OK if a man disrespects you. As painful as it may be, he is the man you will warn your daughters to stay away from.
Lots of love and stay strong for your children's sake. They need you.
xoxoxox
2007-06-04 14:35:31 · answer #4 · answered by SexxyDiva w/class 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To tell you the truth if this were a longtime boyfriend i would encourage a quick breakup and well you'd cry for 2 months then get over it. But this is a marriage and more importantly you have two daughters whom could really be hurt by the separation of their family. I think that for your daughters' sake you really need to discuss this with your husband and make an effort to settle the problem. If it works out then you should give him a chance if not then cut him loose. I'm sure your a good women who could find herself a kind man to support you and you daughters.
2007-06-04 13:58:54 · answer #5 · answered by person 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't cheat in a marriage once and he did four times! Do you want to know why? BECAUSE YOU LET HIM!!!!!
Why don't you get some pride and respect back and get that a$$hole out of your life. You don't love him. You don't even know what love is, because he is certainly not in love with you. All he's gonna do now is pretend he's in pain and he can't live without you bs, so he could get his foot back in the door and then, oh, what do you know? 5 times.
He has no clue how to be a husband, a father, or even a man. The guy is a failure, stop tagging along. Get on with your life.
2007-06-04 14:10:38 · answer #6 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leopards don't change their spots. He's done it 4 times, what stopping him from going for 1 for the thumb. He says he wants to work it out because home life is safe for him. How many times did he say that to you before? You've forgiven him 4 times, you haven't forgotten any of them, and now it's time to move on. You've given him plenty of rope....enough to hang you. I'm sorry for your 2 daughters, but is it better to have them in a house where there's constant turmoil or making a new start. Only you can answer this and I wish you the best.
2007-06-04 14:47:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eight years and 2 children. 4 times cheating. Wow. You are indeed in a tough spot.
If you have really forgiven him - that is great (for your own peace of mind)
I do think you 2 need professional marriage counseling to find out why he is cheating. Then take baby steps from there. Good Luck!
2007-06-04 14:09:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if he can't keep his pants zipped, this is not a good sign for a great life for you and your children. I am always for keeping a family together for the kids, but if he is unwilling to work with you to make your family stronger, then you have to get rid of him. I am sorry for your struggle but re-evaluate your situation. Doesn't sound like he's going to invest in your relationship given his background.
2007-06-04 14:20:45 · answer #9 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay well do NOT forgive and forget if he really loved you he wouldn't cheat but that little girls........ well i would take them and switch them every week it would be touf but you have to do it
2007-06-04 13:52:25 · answer #10 · answered by Maranda N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋