My divorce will be final in 15 days. My soon to be ex-husband left me for another woman with two kids. Since I moved out she has spent the night every weekend he does not have our 2 kids. Our divorce decree states that he can't have a member of the opposite sex spend the night when our kids are there and that he can't drink when our kids are there with him. This past weekend was his turn to have the kids and he called me one night and said that his girlfriend was going to have to spend the night because her car was tore up and he was too drunk to take her home. I found out from my children that they slept in the same bed together that night. I would like to do something about this, but I am not financially able to put out any more money on the divorce than I already have. If I tell the judge when I go for my court date, do you think he would do anything about this? Does anyone have any advice on this?
2007-06-04 13:23:35 · 10 answers · asked by compassionatejen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds to me like you are looking for a reason to be vindictive. I'm sorry your husband was a louse, but it is time to be the bigger person.
2007-06-04 13:33:10 · answer #1 · answered by Randy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What your husband did was very wrong. He should have hired a cab for his lady friend. However, if he plans to marry her, your children will soon be in "their" home every other weekend, so there's really no point in spending money before a judge about it. Tell him what you know, and tell him that if it happens again (drunkeness), you WILL report BOTH incidents to the judge and ask that his visitations be limited to supervised visits. The judge is more likely to listen to the fact that dad was DRUNK when he had his kids, than that he also had a lady there. While he is drunk, he cannot take proper care of his kids. That is the worst offense. Use that one. Tell the judge about the lady friend being there, but stress the part about Daddy being too DRUNK to take her home. Yes, the judge will listen, if he's any good.
2007-06-04 20:38:48 · answer #2 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The Judge will probably treat this as a one time deal and give him the benefit of the doubt. For this to work in court against him you will have to start keeping a record of such activities to show a vagrant pattern of abusing his decree and that his actions are willingly harming the kids. Not easy but you dont want to show as a jealous and vindicative ex spouse either that is seeking revenge. So let this be number 1 in your diary and keep track for the day. Good luck
2007-06-04 20:36:37 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest with you you can tell your lawyer but it may never see the light of day. Alot of times they dont give either of you a chance to speak. They ask you questions and you may get to answer. Yes everyones court papers say the same but unless you have the money you cant do anything. The whole system sees doller signs. But sence you day has not come may be your lawyer will be nice enough to give it a try with out the xtra charge but dont get your hopes up.
2007-06-04 20:43:07 · answer #4 · answered by lyttledarlin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should have called the police when he was in the act. show them the court order. they would then make a report of what they seen and you would then have evidence. now the only evidence you have is the kids word. you don't want to drag them too deep into the dispute between you and your ex. is this woman a bad woman. how does your ex handle his alcohol. i know your probably upset about him leaving you. but now it's time to move on and do what is best for the children. good luck
2007-06-04 20:36:37 · answer #5 · answered by doug h 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being "the bigger person" gains NOTHING for your kids, the law works this way for a reason - see a lawyer and have the decree changed. If he cannot follow the little that is asked of him and cannot shape up, he does not need to be a bad influence around your kids, if he is drunk around them, he cannot very well, be responsible enough to take good care of them either.
2007-06-04 21:21:39 · answer #6 · answered by Unicornrider 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
since your divorce isn't yet final...tell your lawyer right away! You can push to have his visitations supervised. My husband and I haven't even had the separation hearing yet, but my lawyer assured me i could get supervised visitations for things smaller than violating court orders, as in your case.
2007-06-04 20:54:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
He's your EX!!!! Why are you being vindictive? Build a bridge and get over it!!!!! Find someone who will love you and forget about him.
Semper Fi!!!
2007-06-04 23:51:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may suspend his visitation until he can prove, say, 6 months of sobriety.
2007-06-04 20:29:08 · answer #9 · answered by LilyBelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he will probaly modify the custody arrangements
2007-06-04 20:29:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋