Why is it difficult to get out of a controlling relationships?

Question

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Answer 1

You are being manipulated and it is hard to get away from the manipulative person. The only thing for a man in your situation to do is get the heck out of there and start over. Pack your stuff up and go!! Consider getting a restraining order before she does. Once she gets one, she will hold it over your head. The next step comes when she gets you back into her clutches and then she calls the police and then you're in jail. Do whatever you have to do to get away from her!!

Answer 2

the controller doesn't exert any love upon the relationship. usually the relationship starts because either the controller fakes their love, or, the other person being controlled appreciates the tactical benefits of the controller... for example, the controller may pay the bills, make household decisions, or willfully take on certain work. or, the person being controlled may have a difficult time controlling themselves, and so the controller provides the structure they need in their life. only later does the person being controlled realize that their power has been taken away.

Answer 3

WOW!!! There are some excellent thoughts, and perhaps some experienced people answering this question. Please, pay attention to what these folks have to say......they speak from knowledge and wisdom.
Why is it difficult?
Little by little, the controller works at our self-esteem, self-worth, and anything else he/she can chip away at. They are crafty, sly, cunning, and speaks with a "silver tongue". Their out for one thing and one thing only... to destroy you! Why? Because they know they are weak, and will always be unable to control what is going on inside their own tormented mind.
I was lucky enough to have great counseling. The most important thing to do is "no contact". When you do this, it will NOT be easy! By "no contact" it's like he died, fell off the face of the earth...whatever you want to imagine. You will go through what I called "withdrawal" from the once controlling environment. It's not pretty, it's painful, it's lonely, and mind altering. Keep your mind busy, throw yourself into something that is productive for your mind. I could say more, but everyone has contributed with wonderful advice. I understand your plight, and we all are here for you.

"A brief time-out, the boxing bell rings, and you go to your corner, where someone dabs mercy on your beat-up life"
Pixie48

Answer 4

Because by definition, a controlling relationship is one in which the other person decides what they want you to do or be. If you go along with it, you are controlled. If you resist, you aren't in that relationship at all, you walked away from it a long time ago.

Answer 5

It is difficult to get out of a controlling relationship due to that person will crush any positive feeling you may have of yourself until you believe every negative thing that persontells you or can show you to you get tothe point were you believe all the negative words actions are true yourself

Answer 6

Thomas, disregard Nanna's advice and stay out of the women's shelter. That's the last place you want to go to get away from controlling women!

To answer your question, it's difficult to get out of controlling relationships because the people who end up in them lack self-confidence and tend to do a lot of wishful thinking... they also accept apologies without a clear indication of change and want to believe the controls are out of love, and not jealousy.

Good luck to you!

Answer 7

It's only difficult because you can't see the end result. Get a counselor or a woman's shelter but do what you have to especially if you have children. Your life is your own to chose and chose it you must. Don't ever put your life into someone else's hands if it isn't right. No one is better than what you need and expect out of your life. Get a backbone and move on. It's the right thing to do.

Answer 8

I don't know why. It seems that common sense isn't all that common. If you are mistreated once, what makes you think that it won't happen a second time? Because he apologized? You should do like adults tell children to do. If you say your sorry, you should mean it. If he apologizes for bustin' your head open, he shouldn't get another opportunity to bust your head open. Yet women that are in these types of relationships just continue to get their heads busted open. A thought that occurs is that they somehow enjoy this treatment. I know that is not the case. Yet they stick around. When a child goes onto a nationally syndicated show and tells females in this situation to not stick around for the kids' sake, after witnessing his mother getting abused first hand because he had to videotape it, what does that say about the women who are sticking around for the abuse to continue? I don't get it.

Answer 9

Its not all that difficult once you know in your mind that the persom is controlling you all you got to do is get out of the relationship by all means it just going to make you more unhappy with your life ....

Answer 10

They don't start out controlling. They start out interested in you, and they build you up and put you on a pedestal unlike any pedestal you have ever been on. Little by little, they learn what will hurt you, and they begin using that against you,all the while reeling you back in with good behavior. Pretty soon, you feel crazy and they're telling you you're crazy and convincing you that they are the only one who can take care of you and be good to you. It's a trap.