to preface this--I only want to make her feel good about herself and be honest to herself and me...... I think she is pretty sexually repressed and is just ashamed to act out the way she truly wants to...How can I coax it out of her? She easily gets turned on but I think she is hiding something and she will not share whatever that is with me. I have suggested everything--EVERYTHING-- you can possibly think of... I think no matter what I come up with she will deny it and countinue on the same cycle we are on now..I am almost positive that she thinks I will think less of her if she tells me...So honestly, I feel like she is lying to me and herself and it really is a shi*** feeling. Any suggestions?
2007-06-04 12:02:21 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
If you really just want her to feel good about herself, then maybe you should let up and not try to force something out of her that she obviously does not want to share. Sometimes these things take time. Just concentrate on being a good partner. Focus on the things that are pleasurable for both of you and try to enjoy each other. That's not going to happen if you are constantly trying to figure out the "big secret." People share aspects of themselves with others when they feel trust. If she gets to that point with you, terrific. In the mean time, you may be pushing her away by your questioning. And if you really can't stand not "knowing", maybe it's time for a new girlfriend.
2007-06-04 13:27:28 · answer #1 · answered by senlin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My question to you is this - if you have tried everything, made every suggestion, what makes you think that she is still not being truthful? What makes you think she is 'repressed?' Think about the length of time you have been together. Has she always 'acted' a certain way? Does she seem to react to certain 'sexual acts in a negative way? Does she have a background of perhaps something that might inspire some sexual difficulty? Have you talked to her about these things 'outside' of the bedroom? If you can answer these questions, then I would suggest that you might have to take her at her word and believe what she says. Table it - and just see how things are on down the road. It seems to bother you a lot. If you believe with all your heart that she is denying her real self, then for the sake of your relationship, you might want to move on. I know that if my mate continued to press upon me something that was not true in myself, I would grow to hate him for it. If she says nothing is wrong, let it go.
2007-06-04 12:14:41 · answer #2 · answered by THE SINGER 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whenever feelings as such arise, take it very easy.
It could be she has molested when she was a child, in which case you need to give her A LOT OF TIME for it to come out.
It could be she was exposed to a troublesome experience with a past boyfriend of which she hasn't healed yet. Ot it could be that she is deffinetelly trying to find out your TRUE intentions with her. As long as love abounds in plenty, and there is real understanding, you shouln't ask her to have a sexual relation with you, but until she is ready. The question is, are you ready to be patient with her ???? that's the true understanding of love.
Good luck
2007-06-04 12:13:03 · answer #3 · answered by Marinho 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back off! The harder you try to get her to open up the more suspicious she is going to be of you. If you lay off and let her tell you on her terms and in her time you might be in for some kinky fun! Be patient.
2007-06-04 12:20:01 · answer #4 · answered by booger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
come up with ideas that you think may seem embarrassing or nasty to her, and say that you like that. Constantly do this until she loosens up. Also not an ethically correct thing to do, but alcohol loosens a person up.. most people just reveal their secrets when they are drunk.
2007-06-04 12:09:44 · answer #5 · answered by Renegade 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest taking control and pushing the boundries.
2007-06-04 12:10:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
move on...it won't get better
2007-06-04 12:12:23 · answer #7 · answered by Izzy F 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋