child support that is not used for the child???

Question

O.K. Heres the deal.
i am overpaying child support to my ex-fiance(for a child in my care 4 days out of 7). because of the amount being taken, i cannot afford to take this through court to get the order changed.
I am fairly certain that the money she is receiving IS NOT being used for the child. she lives with her mother(minimal rent, no bills, etc...) i cannot afford to clothe my child, pay my bills, keep stocked on food, after im done being raped by child support and when clothes are bought, it is her mom or my mom that does the buying. food is provided by her mothers income on my ex's days with the child.
How can i have this investigated or who do i report this concern to??
also does anyone know how i can get the support order changed? i cant afford a lawyer, and i cant afford the filing fees for a court motion... when child support came at me, it cost her nothing... is there a way i can get it done for me at extremely minimal cost or free??
Please help

just for background, my suspicion of where the money is going:
to her other child who she had with one of the guys she was cheating on me with, who coincidentally is not paying child support to her. they are not together.

also, this is not about "me having a say in the use of the money"

this is about my childs best interests not being served because the money that should be paying for his needs isnt being used for that purpose, thank you very much.

if your a BI*** then dont waste my time.
the support order was based on INNACURATE info. MORE SPECIFICALLY it was based on her having the child 24/7. which is not the case.
I HAVE THE CHILD APPROXIMATELY 65 PERCENT OF THE TIME. SHE SHOULDNT BE GETTING ANYTHING, LEGALLY SHE SHOULD BE PAYING ME, BUT I CANT AFFORD TO GET THE ORDER CHANGED TO FIT THE SITUATION.

TO THE IGNORANT:
SHE DOES NOT PAY THE MEDICAL. I DO.
JUST BECAUSE SOME FATHERS ARE DEADBEATS IS NO REASON TO VENT YOUR HATRED AT ME. I TAKE CARE OF MY CHILD. MY CHILD LIVES WITH ME. WHEN I LEFT HER CHEATING A** THE CHILD CAME WITH ME BECAUSE SHE WAS TOO BUSY DOING EXTACY AND THE LIKE WITH HER BOYFRIENDS, PLURAL.

to those of you who are trying to help, thank you.

the bar association told me it cant make referalls. the women at the child support office treat me like a dog and refuse to answer any questions or give me any advice on what i can do or where i can go for help.
id pay for a lawyer but that would mean either not paying my rent, or not paying my utilities. both options are not viable as the child lives with me, and we need the gas and electricity on, and we need a place to live.....

Isnt this all supposed to be set up for the best interest of the CHILD?? i mean, were talkin child support here... not alimony....

okay, this was a waste of time.
sorry i asked
apparently everyone is to interested in being hateful towards men and making assumptions.

if anyone would have read what i wrote they would see that the mother pays for nothing, and that the CHILD LIVES WITH ME.
I PAY THE INSURANCE. I PAY THE MEDICAL. I PAY FOR THE SCHOOLING. I PAY FOR THE TOYS(WHEN I CAN MANAGE TO SCRAP 10 BUX TOGETHER). I PAY FOR EVERYTHING.

im done reading these.
you all vote for the best answer.

to all you women who cant read and are being hateful, not all men are dead beats. in this case its the mother.

the child lives with me. i left his mother when she got pregnant(not by me) with a child and she had cheated so much she didnt even know who the father was....

Answer 1

There should be forms you can file to modify the income, based on the amount of time you have the child. Go to your superior court's (or other state or county court) website they should have a documentation/self help link that will take you to the documents to download.

You have no say over what she spends on the money on ... as one judge told my ex if she pays rent, utilities, food with the money that is helping the child. It's unfortunate because I know several people who have to buy their children everything because their support is spent getting the mother and her new bf high.

Answer 2

Why do you think you are overpaying? Is the 4/3 custody something new? Did your (or her) income change? Most states have formulas to calculate child support but once it gets set and there is an order, it takes a new order to change the amount. To get a new order you have to show something substantial changed. If the custody deal is a new arrangement, was there a new order? Maybe you can amend that order. If your child support is really high you may qualify for a legal aid program in your area. Sometimes county bar associations have a low-cost referral program - check your phone book.

In the end, you need to figure out if in fact you are overpaying and if so, by how much. Then do some math based on your kid's age. That will give you the total overpayment potential. Based on that total, you can determine if you can afford NOT to get an attorney.

Answer 3

Check the Yellow Pages for your city. Look under Attorneys and Father's Advocacy Groups. Check the Internet for Father's Advocacy Groups (these may be national organizations with state, regional or city offices or affiliated attorneys). If you explain your needs to the local Bar Association they may have a roster of attorneys that take these cases on a rotating basis. Have you asked the attorney that represented you in the divorce for a referral? A call to the local Public Defender's office might give you a lead. Also any divorced father support groups may have that sort of information. Addressing the issue to Child Services could also lead somewhere but if I called them I would do it from a pay phone and remain anonymous, they tend to favor the Mother in these cases and might give her a heads up. There is no telling what you might find and I have no idea where you are so that's about as good as my advice can get.

Answer 4

I hope you understand that even if she lives with her mother, her mother has a right to rent to pay for your children's shelter and food. There isn't any reason for you to clothe your children, half their clothing expense should be covered by child support. She still has medical bills for the kids and all the incidentals that kids have like their share of utilities etc.
Courts don't usually just take money, it goes through a process, since you have a support order that process was gone through, if your income hasn't changed, neither will you support. If you lost your job, or got one that doesn't pay the same you can ask at the courthouse how you do that, since those things are handled by the state and all states differ.
Men always complain that their support isn't going to to children, they forget how much it costs for utilities, food, rent, entertainment, books, school supplies, toys, pediatricians, and all the extras these days that kids want. Her Mom doesn't have to foot the bill, both you and your ex do.



EDIT
I have read you additions and all I can say is you should hang with a better class of women. But, of course, you won't be reading this.

Answer 5

This doesn't work. If you are married and poor...you adjust to what you can afford.. then to take people out of that bracket and the put them somewhere else and expect them to do that....doesn't work. You can't base things on a mid ground with people who were never there.

It doesn't help when you have people not putting the money towards the kids even though it's what they "should" do.

These laws don't really effect anyone but the poor. Seriously....I was married and his "child support payments", calculated by the government, was more than he EVER made.

Married or not...we BOTH never made that....yet government said for him to pay that.. He couldn't make it if he worked 24/7.

I knew that. I worked with it because I knew he loved his daughter. Others don't.....and I say I hate those women who put "money" or "punishment" over their children. Please....my kids never got a "lifestyle to which they were accustomed". You ate or you didn't. There wasn't a choice. There wasn't a "lifestyle" to get accustomed to.

Answer 6

A custodial father or mother does no longer have to installed a separate account for youngster help cash. Child help is designed to aid offset the expenditures of elevating a youngster, adding supplying housing, meals, apparel, amusement, schooling, remedy, and many others. If utilizing youngster help to pay a babysitter method that there's more cash to be had to pay for housing, then that's an proper use.

Answer 7

Sorry, but you should keep paying the child support. Are you sure you can't take this matter to the courts. My dad never started paying child support until 4 weeks before my 18th birthday......what a nice guy right? lol. Anyways, he got away with doing so.

Answer 8

You can go to the child support enforcement office at Social Services and have them investigate it. I would look into legal services in your state as well. Most offer lost cost representation.

Answer 9

Child support that isn't spent on the child? That's like having a child protective service that doesn't actually protect children. That never happens.

Oh wait... yeah it does. Nevermind.

Answer 10

Does not matter what she spends the money for. She could take it and burn it if she wanted. All the courts care about is that you send it.