She is 9 years old and stays with me only... she heard the word sex some days ago.. and she asked me the question...now I find myself unable to make it clear to her ...
2007-06-04 11:54:34 · 49 answers · asked by Rohan 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
wow ur 9 year old knows that word
good job parenting hi-5
2007-06-04 11:57:02 · answer #1 · answered by Mr Allen 2 · 0⤊ 7⤋
I have to wonder about the "stays with only me." Does this mean you are her guardian? If this is the case, then I personally believe you should tell her. I was 8 when I had the talk with my mother, and I promise you it didn't damage me. The worst thing you can do to a child is lie to them about sex or misinform them. Be honest with her, but not vulgar. If you want some more information, perhaps call up a sex therapist/psychologist and ask them how they believe you should talk to her about it. 9 is not a bad age.. she may be starting her menstrual cycle very soon, and you do not want her to be in a state of confusion about her body. The whole conversation simply could be very educational. Taking a biological approach probably would be the smartest thing. It does not have to be inappropriate.
If the child does stay with her mother or you aren't her legal guardian.. maybe talk with her mom, and tell her that she's been asking a lot of questions.
2007-06-04 12:15:11 · answer #2 · answered by Ashley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi!
I would love to help you out here, but first can you please explain what exactly do you mean by "... stays with me only" ??
Are you her legal guardian?
I mean, I think the best person to speak to a 9 year old, are his/her parents.
The other thing is, I believe there are quite a few ways of explaining sex to a child. Which is the best way of having that conversation, depends on many factors: both your age and the child's; your relationship with the child; the level of maturity of the child... to mention a few.
If you give me some background on you and your cousin, I will feel more capable of offering a more educated and helpful suggestion.
Good Luck!
2007-06-04 12:03:13 · answer #3 · answered by amor_tico 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a lot of crackpot answers to this one. For the rest of you, what do you think, "stays with me only" means? It means that mom and dad are not around. It is also none of your business why mom and dad are around.
At nine years of age I would just tell her that "sex" is another word for how a baby is made. Hopefully she has had a pet before and has seen baby kittens or something like that. Do not get graphic. If she keeps wanting more details, change the subject to how a baby develops in the mothers body. After a while this should get boring to her and you will be done.
I hope this helps.
2007-06-04 14:44:57 · answer #4 · answered by Wade M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hm, I am trying to think of something, and really have no clue. What ever I write, it doesn't seem right. And I am a parent too - I need to have such an answer ready. I better star this question and hope somebody will come up with something good!
The people that said: I tell you when you are older, obiously don't have kids, otherwise they would know that this doesn't work with them.
I liked the answer about biology - excellent idea and I will probably use it when it comes the time for it.
2007-06-04 12:01:13 · answer #5 · answered by ♪ ♥ alma ♥ ♪ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon its kind of late for her to learn this. I think I knew since I was like 5 or 6. My mom taught me everything. And no my mom is not a pervert, in fact I am still a virgin. But it is her parents job. If she is 9 she could even have her period soon so hon, she is not a baby. Get a knowledge adult to teach her abt it. She needs to learn to protect her private part from others and the whole 9 yards. Good luck and if there is really no body else to teach her about it, then I hope you talk to her clearly. For better help there's tons of books out there.
2007-06-04 12:38:22 · answer #6 · answered by Pete 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is for Mommy to explain. If you're not mommy, you don't have any obligation to explain what sex is to someone else's kid. However, if she keeps persisting, tell her to ask her Mom and not you.
Don't lie. Don't be sneaky, and don't say you don't know. This is a great way to ruin the kids trust in you.
Just say it's something parents do together, and don't mention the details.
Edit: Do NOT say it's something she won't understand till she's older and don't be secretive. This will only make he rmoe curious. Trust me.
She just asked what the word meant. She doesn't know it means anything bad, you could just say hat one interrpretation of it is another word meaning 'gender'. She'll probably just be like "whatever."
2007-06-04 12:00:33 · answer #7 · answered by Bren J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to say it, she may have come to you about this question, but you really should let her parents know. They will explain sex in an age appropriate manner.
She needs to understand the concept, but also understand that she is too young for such a thing. They will also be able to pull up pictures or books for any follow up questions. Also, by her parents communicating with her about this, it will open the window for boys in general as well as the "period" talk that should follow.
2007-06-04 11:59:11 · answer #8 · answered by systematicalf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think one thing that needs to be considered is her relationship with her parents. Maybe her parents would be embarrased to talk about it with her. Maybe she is way to embarrased to talk to them. If she had a good relationship with them, maybe she would have asked them instead of her cousin. I would never have asked my mom anything about sex when I was a kid. It wasn't that we didn't get along, we just didn't talk about things like that. I would hope that my kids would come to me with questions like that, but if they didn't feel like they could I would rather they get that info from an older, trusted relative - like a cousin - than on the internet or from their friends (who are probably as clueless as them).
I think if you feel like you should talk to her and tell her what sex is, then do it. But if you think thats something she should ask her parents tell her that.
As for what to tell her - just be honest, don't lie but don't get too detailed either. I like Bunny's answer, too. Tell her its how babies are made and that she will understand more when she's older. Then change the subject.
2007-06-04 13:47:20 · answer #9 · answered by Brandi C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is the difference between boys and girls, in birds, bees, and people. The action sex is when the male and female get together to make babies. The how of sex is best left to her parents to explain. Hope that helps!
2007-06-04 11:59:31 · answer #10 · answered by SodaLicious 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"when a mommy and a dady love eachother very much, they give eachother a special hug and a baby is born." Then when shes older explain a little more.Thats how my parents explained to me when i was young. For now, distract her with lets go get ice cream or wanna go to the park. Good luck =)
2007-06-04 12:36:24 · answer #11 · answered by hello 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋