OK My husband had a meth problem a few years before we met. I have found things in the past that I have overlooked. I recently found some evidence that he is using again, I don't know how often or how much. I know if I did some digging that I wouldn't like what I found. His dealers phone number was on our phone bill.
Here's my dilema. I am a SAHM and I go to college full time. If I left my husband I would have to quit school and take a dead end job to take care of my 3 kids. If I find that he is on meth I have no choice but to leave. He's a truckdriver and home less than 4 days a month and never alone with the kids. There also hasn't been any money missing from the account.
Should I keep looking away long enough to finish school (2 years) so that I will be financially able to care for my kids. I could do some digging, get a job and struggle for a while. Is it wrong or selfish for me to look the other way? BTW he really isn't a great hubby. He's become a moody, needy pessimist.
2007-06-04 11:29:26 · 10 answers · asked by kidzrdrivinmekrazy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't worry about myself or my kids being in any danger and he isn't home enough for the kids to even notice the difference in him. I am on the phone with him constantly so it's different for me.
I can confront him, and I have in the past, while holding a baggy of dope and he just lies about it. I know if I checked into things I would find out he's using and he will deny it. I just wonder if I should bother finding out. If I find out for sure I will leave, no more chances.
I just think I should hang on to make sure that I will be able to financially care for my kids to prevent ending up on the streets. As far as child support is concerned, I would spend my life chasing him, just like his ex-wife does. It wouldn't be anything I could count on.
2007-06-04 17:28:17 · update #1
I think I would confront him and tell him how you feel. Let him give you some sort of explaination. Tell him that you want him clean or you will have to leave. If you do leave him, he is still responsible for child support and alimony being that you do not work. You can always go to school part time and stretch it into longer than 2 years. I would do whatever it took to make children and myself happy. I have a problem with those that think they have to be on drugs to make it. Life really isnt that bad. I also worry about those on the road who are on drugs. Taking chances with the livelyhood of some young person who has not yet lived their life only to die in a car accident all because some idiot thinks he/she has to be on drugs to make life worth living. Its sad to know the amount of people on drugs these days. Good luck to you.
2007-06-04 11:55:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A moody, needy pessimist? Those are true behaviorisms of an addict. You dont need to "dig" to discover that he is using.
As far as you and the kids go... Are they YOUR kids that you brought along into the relationship? Or is he the father? If he is the father and hooked on meth, stand by him and see if you can find him some help. If he is not the father, get your kids out of there immediately. That is really all I can say.
2007-06-04 18:46:23 · answer #2 · answered by Ponyboy99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are saying and I don't think you are selfish but you really should try to find a way around this problem so you can stay in school and keep your children safe. 2 years is a long time to wait and anything can happen in that time. Just start looking at other options and good luck.
2007-06-04 18:47:06 · answer #3 · answered by April First 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your family wont help you?
Have you asked him to get help and told him what you have found. It doesnt seem like you guys have much of a marriage.
Why dont you leave? A drug addict keeps using because they love it and because it is the drug of thier choice. Dont look the other way! he's already moody and his next step will be to hurt one of you. get out!!
2007-06-04 18:40:14 · answer #4 · answered by vixn2523 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
confront him about it, and make him prove it.
Even walmart sells a home drug test kit, so get one, and make him take it. tell him its that, or he confesses right now, and gets out.
The test only works for drugs like meth if they've taken it within the last couple days, so its not foolproof, but if he's using, he's probably using a fair bit.
Maybe he's using to stay awake for work, or for any of a hundred reasons, but if its not acceptible to you, dont let him do that.
2007-06-05 01:32:32 · answer #5 · answered by KGene1969 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to be careful about the time he is home. If the police should raid your home your children will be taken away from you. You don;t want that to happen. It's better to struggle than to live a nighmare like your doing right now.
2007-06-04 18:41:29 · answer #6 · answered by Krinta 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound very selfish only thinking of yourself sounds like your husband could be in trouble and all you can think about is how can you finish school and he can pay your bills. What comes around goes around and I'm sure your not the best wife in the world to him either
2007-06-04 18:38:32 · answer #7 · answered by tellthetruth 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Leave now!!!!1
2007-06-04 18:44:41 · answer #8 · answered by lavell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is on drugs then leave asap. not for you but for your kids. it will be hard but the welfare of your kids are more important than any job.
2007-06-04 18:34:00 · answer #9 · answered by dannielle w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would have him tested
2007-06-04 18:33:19 · answer #10 · answered by lisaanndubay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋