i have always taken vacations with friends and i am willing to take the wife on vacations also. Should i give up my time with friends because the wife asks me to ?.
2007-06-04 11:22:39 · 19 answers · asked by kmantgab 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If your marriage is more important than hanging out with friends, yes.
2007-06-04 11:26:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing unreasonable with your wife wanting for just the two of you to go on vacations, without the "friends" - if the choice is either or. However, I don't see what's wrong with doing both if you can - take some vacations together, just the two of you, but plan something fun with friends every once in a while. In general, tho, the friends are expected to go on the back burner once you're married; this is just how things work.
2007-06-04 11:37:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, some women have in them the need to control everything their husband does. If you havent given her any reason not to trust you, then I suggest you stick to your guns and be with the boys. However yes, there are stipulations. If all your friends are single, and you're trying to get away with them for a raunchy weekend of boozing, then hell no, grow up. However if you and some fellow married friends want to go out on the lake to fish for a weekend (or something relatively male bonding-like), there should be nothing wrong with that. But, if either of the two cause a huge rift in your marriage then I'd say let it go. Its not worth ruining your marriage over, especially since your buddies probably wouldn't do the same for you.
2007-06-04 11:45:18 · answer #3 · answered by Loren J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to remember that you are not single anymore... Not saying that you should give up all the time with your friends... Taking vacations with your friends shouldn't be an every year thing... but you really need to discuss these things with your wife and see what she is comfortable with... Good luck
2007-06-04 11:27:47 · answer #4 · answered by Oula 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would hesitate at giving up all of your time with your friends, but it is reasonable for her to ask you to cut down the amount of time you spend with them. After all she married you to be with you. Your idea of taking her on vacations is a good one, and most people would think that is good enough. However, and there is always a however, what SHE thinks is what matters. Since you are married to her, the only thing I can advise you is to talk to her about it. Tell her what you think of her saying that she wants you to give up your time with your friends in a calm way. Don't tell her that you won't do it, you will just cause problems. Try to work out a compromise with her. Marraige is going to be a series of compromises. As the two of you have combined two lives into one, neither of you can be expected to give up their life for the other. It just won't work, one of you will go crazy. Be prepared for some resistance, but don't get mad, just talk through it, and things will be fine.
Good luck,
Stevo.
2007-06-04 11:37:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're married now. You first responsibility is to your wife. There's nothing wrong with having friends and spending time with them as long as it doesn't interfere with your marriage. I'd say can the vacations with buddies if you value your wife and marriage. Good luck!
2007-06-04 11:55:06 · answer #6 · answered by sassyredhead1968 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is about compromise and respect and you should talk with her about what she thinks is an appropriate amount of time to be spent with friends. Im not saying let her tall you what to do, but at least hear her out and make an effort to compromise. Shes not asking you to give up your friends, just to spend more quality time with her.
2007-06-04 11:31:42 · answer #7 · answered by Aubrey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you two really need to have a sit down and discuss the problem are you abusing your free time. Is she jealous of your friends , can you have certain dates or occasions where its OK for you to hang out with your boyz . More importantly you two need to do it without anger no arguing cause the problem wont get solved that way .
2007-06-04 12:00:44 · answer #8 · answered by COOP DOGG 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOOO! i'm a girl and i even will say that friends are for life! but, your wife is for life as well, which makes them equally important!!! that means you need to listen to your wife and try spending more time with her, cut dwn...but still hang out with them and keep them near!!!
2007-06-04 11:27:18 · answer #9 · answered by The Queen of Acting<3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how important this is for you.
Tell her how much it means to you.
Tell her how much you love her and that your time spent twice a year with the guys is traditional in a sense and that you hope she understands when you say that you're, "not giving it up".
2007-06-04 12:17:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋