I'm looking for advice on becoming a father for the 1st time?

Question

I'm 29 (nearly 30) just found out that my girlfriend & I are expecting our first child.
With fairly little money after buying our flat, and both in full time jobs, I need advice on the best ways to cope with this new but fantastic news.
Any advice, past/ present experiences would be great.

Answer 1

wic and food stamp..

Answer 2

Start shopping now, you can look at second hand shops or look for special sales. Make sure that anything you buy, especially cribs or car seats, have not been recalled. You could also check with friends and family members to see what they can lend or give you. Sit down and set up a budget, make it so you can save a little bit of money each month. See if you can take different shifts, one of you work at night and the other during the day so you don't have to pay a sitter or nanny. That can be hard, because you'll not get a lot of time together, but it's a good way to save up some money and you can plan it for only a few months or something. Start buying some necessities now, like diapers, so you don't have to buy a bunch of them all at once when the baby is done. Good luck and Congrats, babies are wonderful!
P.S.- Go to as many of the appointments as you can, it's a wonderful bonding experience and it lets your girlfriend know you'll be there for her, and it gives you a chance to feel included, plus you can ask the Dr. to let you hear the heartbeat!

Answer 3

Understand that it's okay to be frustrated, sad, tired, overwhelmed. Understand that sometimes, babies just cry, you're not doing anything wrong. Make your husband understand that just because the baby cries when he holds her doesn't mean that she doesn't like him, it's just she really needs mommy at this stage and their bond will truly form later. Take all the help you can get. Yes, sleep when the baby sleeps but if you two truly are a team, things will get done. Babies sleep alot, I always go back to sleep in the morning because I find it hard to settle for an afternoon nap if I'm on the go, and i'm more tired when I wake up. When you make dinner, make extra and freeze it for another night during the week. Make a few meals in one go, saves constant cleanup. Plan ahead. There are many hints and tips and tricks to get you through your days and weeks to name here, you'll pick it up as you go :)

Answer 4

The best advice has nothing to do with money or finances. Be a "hand's on" dad. Be there, in the room, when your child is born. Help the nurses get his stats and get him cleaned up. Don't be afraid to change diapers or give feedings, or do whatever else is necessary. When they get older, do things with them, play ball, or whatever they want to do at whatever age they happen to be. Be INVOLVED with your child's life, all the way through. Keep the lines of communication open so they don't ever fear coming to you with a problem. And keep an open mind because "times change". Pick and choose your battles. Only make a big deal out of the things that ARE a big deal. Don't make a mountain out of a molehill just to prove a point.

As a parent of adult children, that's the best advice I can give.

Answer 5

Wow same situation my husband and I were in 4 years ago. Well with little as you 2 make (by the way it sounds) your gf can get on medicaid and that will cover all dr bills, she can also get on WIC (women infants and children) and it will help out with food, you will get cheese, milk, juice, cereal, eggs, peanut butter, and such things, which should help a little on your grocery bill, as far as maternity clothing, have her check used stores, thrift stores, goodwill, rethreads, and such they have GREAT deals, also she can find a few baby things. When she is further along, the baby shower will help alot with diapers and things you need for baby. The families are usually really good about helping, and any of your friends will be glad to hear the news and find and pick up things for the baby which will help. Try yard sales for baby and maternity things also. Go to this site..... Freecycle.org
sign up for an account and you can trade items and its totally free. People give you things you request if they have them, just be sure to pick your correct state and location. As far as your vehicle or material things you have in life...it simply dont matter. Life will get better, it will get easier, and good things will come your way. My husband and I went from a NASTY, falling apart trailer when we found out I was pregnant, to a little nicer trailer, to a new house with lots of space, to now we are selling our house and building a 2 story log cabin. Things will get better, it dont matter how much money you have or material things. Good luck to you. and congrads on baby.

Answer 6

Congratulations!! Our first was a surprise to us too. You know, as far as money goes, things have a way of working out. The best things I did were buying diapers before the baby was born. It is such a help not to have to worry about that after the baby is here. Start buying them when you go to the store, find coupons for them.

Answer 7

Be there for your girlfriend. Being pregnant is wonderful but also very hard on the body. When I was pregnant my boyfriend would do alot for me. Make me something to eat, go get something at the store, and one time I was so naseus he slept on the couch because when he moved in the bed I thought I was going get so sick. Your job is basically done. You just need to take care of her now and she will do the rest. Then once the baby comes everything will just fall into place.

Answer 8

Congrats, There are going to be many people who are going to give you advice, so here is mine. Don't do anything that both you and your gf don't agree on together. Parenting is a hard but fully rewarding job and responsibility and any one who tells you it is easy either is lying so they don't freak you out or their kids don't talk to them now b/c they were horrible parents. It will all work out

Answer 9

sweetie the Lord will make a way just like He has for us all...Just start buying diapers and things the baby will need weekly and all will be great...God bless you and your Family and may the Lord bless you like He has blessed My family and self..congratulation's own the New Baby that will be here may the Lord bless it in all ways...And as soon as he or she is born give it back to the Lord so it will get a Great start in Life....God bless you All...

Answer 10

Yes, enjoy every single moment of it. Do you think your parents, or my parents or anyones parent had "enough" (whatever that is) money to take us on? They found a way to raise us proper, as will you. God doesn't give you more then what you can handle, so he must think that you are ready. Congrats Dad! : )

Answer 11

WELL I WOULD HAVE TO TELL YOU TO TALK TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE FEELING BECAUSE CHANCES ARE SHE IS HAVING A LOT OF THE SAME CONCERNS AS YOU.
IF MONEY IS AN ISSUE THEN CONSIDER WIC OR OTHER STATE FUNDED AGENCIES. THEY ARE THERE TO HELP AND ITS NOT BAD TO GET HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT.