He dresses in black all the time, reads and often quotes the bible and has posters of serial killers on his walls. He does not have a girlfriend and often talks of women in the most derogotory manner saying that he will not sully himself talking to the whores of babylon and often says that he will be the arms of God and will smite the unholy. He has now chosen a strict diet and will not eat most things as he says they are unclean and he will not wear the clothes that we buy him as he says that he will not wear clothes that are of a mixed thread and will wear only black cotton t-shirts. He is driving his mother and I up the wall. Is it a phase he is going through and should we ignore it ?
2007-06-04 10:38:31 · 55 answers · asked by albert_rossie 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
The fact that he is so focused on religion and "unholy" things almost sounds like obsessive compulsive disorder or schizophrenia... I would DEFINETELY seek counselling, a psychologist or psychiatric help to prevent this from escalating. Do NOT ignore this, you never know what is really going on inside his head and these could be cries for help.
2007-06-04 10:47:31 · answer #1 · answered by xo_j 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's probably just a phase. No, you shouldn't ignore it.
There's parts that you shouldn't bother fighting. I don't see a problem with letting him wear black t-shirts and read the Bible until his face turns blue. I really don't even know if posters of serial killers are a battle you should have. Talking about people in a sexist manner (or other kinds of discrimination) aren't okay, whether in a phase or not. Do not allow him to be derogatory toward other human beings.
2007-06-04 12:30:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ignore the black clothing - thats normal I went through that its sometimes an outward sign of sadness or trying to blend into the shadows(not be noticed). The bible or any religious book is fine - encourage him to read it. try having family bible nights when you read the bible together & comment on what you think it means. Not having a girlfriend is nothing to worry about - i didnt start dating til i was 16.The strict diet could be his way of rebelling against authority - esp if you make a big deal of him eating. As long as he is eating healthy foods i wouldnt worry about it. Maybe his skin is sensitive cotton is both warming & cooling & pulls moisture away from the skin. All of the above, ignore. I would say its a phase. None of it is harmful.
Now. Speaking of women in that way is not acceptable. During one of your bible nights, show him where jesus treated women as equals and deserving of love. Show him where jesus told his followers to treat people the way you would like to be treated. Would he like someone calling him a whore or unholy etc? Invite a pastor from your local church around for tea one night. Explain to him beforehand whats going on ask him to speak with your son. Maybe he can find out where your boy is getting these ideas and can help point him away from the negative thoughts.
He doesnt sound suicidal, but he is exhibiting antisocial behaviours (the serial killers posters, saying he's going to smite the unholy...) He isnt autistic. Autism is a TOTALLY different kettle of fish. ( I know - my 4 yr old son is autistic & I know LOTS of teens who have autism & none of them show this type of behaviour)
I wouldnt force him to see a therapist - if he says no, then forcing him could cause him to hide away & become even more reclusive.
Good luck! If you need someone to talk to, feel free to email me.
2007-06-05 10:26:49 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds to me, very mixed up. Bible, serial killers? I went through something similar when I was a teenager but only did it to shock my parents. The more horrified they were, the more I liked it. (Im still fascinated by serial killers though, from a psycological aspect, and have loads of books on the subject) What are his friends like? Are they the same? If you are worried, give parentline a call if you are in the UK. If not, you should find a similar number in your yellow pages directory. Oh, and make him buy his own clothes. If he wants weird stuff he will have to do jobs around the house for the money to buy them.
2007-06-05 23:47:51 · answer #4 · answered by DJJD 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be concerned. Its not the wearing black and reading the bible that worries me, its the way he talks about women and says tht he will be the arms of God. The not eating foods that are "unclean" is also a little odd.
Don't ignore it. Take him to a phsychologist just to be safe. If it is just a phase you can live with making him see a Dr, but how would you feel if he ended up killing someone because he didn't get the help he needs now.
2007-06-04 11:33:06 · answer #5 · answered by Brandi C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is VERY unhealthy this isn't some silly emo phase , the religion stuff is very dangerous , your best hope is to contact the doctor about his behaviour , don't take this lightly and the derogatory behaviour towards woman will lead him in to enormous social problems.
where as with emo children you can force them to behave and be normal that may not be possible with your son as he maybe mentally ill . revoking privileges and punishing will only make him more volatile.
is there a boot camp or anything he can be sent to banning him with contact with the world and giving him some out doorsy stuff to do to distract him ? if he has the Internet id take it away from him as you don't know who he is talking to or contacting .
this may be a far fetched idea but take him on an exotic holiday with his mother and basically re-educate him is the beauties of the world , take him places with art and culture like places in Europe or safari in Africa , once in a life time experience like that really change people for the better and may be the thing he needs to get him away from this strange behaviour and remove this negative influence from him.
if he goes missing for even more than an hour contact the police immediatly , watch his behaviour around animals , if he shows any violence towards a puppy/kitten then you have a serious promblem, getting him a animal will be like the defining test to see if he is a danger or not
good luck
2007-06-08 02:22:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Dressing in black could just be a phrase
The biblical refrences might just mean he's into God.
The posters are weird. You should probably take them down. or burn them.
Maybe see if he's just become a strict vegetarian? Like a vegan? That could explain the diet.
The clothes thing could be apart of the vegan theory, because vegans cant use anything from animals either.
But, yeah. You should still probably get him checked out. Take him to a therapy session or something.
2007-06-06 16:39:28 · answer #7 · answered by freakxxout 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some of the things are normal, like the wearing black all the time and trying a different diet. But some of the things are disturbing, especially the way he sees women, and the posters of serial killers. I think you should not ignore it and get him in to see a counselor if he won't talk to you. Good Luck.
2007-06-04 10:42:23 · answer #8 · answered by nimo22 6 · 8⤊ 0⤋
First of all, they make posters of serial killers?? Anyway, whatever is happening with your son he needs his parents' love and support. It could be that he is dealing with puberty by becoming a sort of goth/religious fanatic and will grow out of it soon but I think it would be a good idea to try and take him to see a psychologist. It could, however, be very difficult to persuade him to go along with this, in which case you probably shouldn't force him. This will just make him feel helpless and isolated from you both. Either way, it is really important that you talk to him and try to understand his feelings and what is going on. Don't judge, just try and empathise and show him that you're on his side. Hopefully he'll open up to you and you'll be able to sort out any problems.
2007-06-05 09:19:49 · answer #9 · answered by toodlepipandcheerio 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In one way , its a bit like an extreme phase , but to be honest its verging on obsessional , im no ta mental health worker , but it sounds like it could be the early stages of som ething like scizophrenia, i would try to make an appointment with your gp and discuss your concerns not sure how they would help with patient confidentiality.
I know some one with issues who has been through phases like that and they did turn out ot have some problems , i mean it may just be an extreme phase either way i dont envy you, ...best of luck what ever happens
2007-06-04 10:51:53 · answer #10 · answered by britchick 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋