Should I have a baby?

Question

I should know this on my own but I don't. I am in love, with a guy now for 8 months but have known him since I was 15. That's 15 years. We are it, the final show, this is my life long companion. The kicker? I'm a cervical cancer survivor. I have been given a "time limit" to have kids. At 30, I'm running out. We decided to start trying in August and ever since, my body and mind have been uprooted in a flood of emotions, I know that's normal, or is it? Moms..help, how did you know it was right?

Answer 1

In my personal case I was (of course still am) madly in love with my husband and I always wanted a baby. But I kept putting other priorities first like my professional career, etc, and sometimes I was just so scared of becoming a mommy even tough I wanted. Well, even that we had decided to wait one more year one day my period was late, I took a hpt and there was, the positive sign appeared right away...she was born 4 month ago and I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. Sure it's hard and challenging being a mom as well as a professional woman working full time, but she light up my life in a way I can't describe...Dad, also a professional executive is swept away by his baby girl, and we have grown a lot as a couple and of course as a family. If you have a time limit and this is the man you love I'd say go for it without a doubt, you won't regret having a baby, but later you will regret not having one. The most important thing that has happened in my life so far is not my accomplishment as a professional but the fact that I became a mom to an angel. Good luck trying!!

Answer 2

When I had my children, I don't recall knowing anyone who planned their pregnancies. I got married at 17, had my first child at 19, and my second at 21. Back then, you didn't plan....you just woke up pregnant one day. However, my daughter (the one I had at 21) is now 38, and recently had her final, planned pregnancy, so I can tell you sincerely that the flood of emotions after you have made the decision to become pregnant is definitely 100% normal. She had to decide whether to even become pregnant or not, having a history of difficult pregnancies, and with her youngest child now 10 years old. But she decided that Yes, SHE wanted another child (not just that her partner did). She determined that not only could she provide the love and emotional support to a third child but also the necessary financial support, and all on her own alone, if it came to that (since we never know what is in our future). So, if YOU want a child now, and you would want one regardless of future family dynamics, then yes, it is right for you.

Answer 3

those fears never go away even once your pregnant and have a child, fears like will I be good at this?, will I know what to do?, will I enjoy being a parent?, there is no right or wrong answer to these things, as they change from day to day. The real question you should ask yourself is "Will I regret not having children when I could when I'm in later life?" Will I be 40-50-60 years old sitting alone wondering why I ever thought I didn't want to have kids and grand kids :D I wish you all the best of luck in your decision making :D

Answer 4

Go for it!!!
I'm 30 weeks pregnant (29yrs old) and was hesitant at first about getting pregnant, but my husband insisted on stoping the pills. So I did and was a nervous wreck , because I wanted a kid on one hand but then it is a LIFETIME commitement on the other hand.
I've been having mixed emotions ever since I got pregnant- don't get me wrong-I love the baby a lot-but I have doubts-is it a right time? How are we going to manage financially? Is my husband the right person to have kids with :) ?
You have limited time, so go for it. If it does not work out for you and your guy, at least you'll have a little creature to love!

Answer 5

Desperation is never a good thing in making a decision. If you feel desperate, then you need to find other criteria for the decision. I am not saying that you are making the wrong decision; it is simply much harder when strong feelings are involved.

Good luck. Take your time in such decisions. They should be a matter of love and not desperation. Though the urge to have your own flesh and blood to raise is strong, adoption should not be out of the question.

Answer 6

CONGRATS on being a survivor, that's awesome. Look you will know if it is right. If you think that you can mentally and physically take care of a child then more power to you, you have already accomplished allot in your life, your a SURVIVOR. Just relax and let god do his thing.
Good luck to you.

Answer 7

I survived cerivical cancer too & I know how scary that was 1st hand. I was already pregnant when I found out so we couldn't do anything about it until after the baby was born. If you want to have a baby then try for it & see what happens. I hope it happens for you.

Answer 8

You sound ready! I was nervous about it also, wondering if I would be a good mom. I have been blessed with 3 wonderful daughters, my oldest is graduating from high school in a few days! They all have been a joy with a few ups and downs,but I wouldn't change it for anything!

Answer 9

If you are at any risk in having your own baby then I would say definitely not, if there is no risk then I would say sure. But if you are "it" then why aren't you two deciding to get married so as not to bring a child into a non-committed relationship.

Answer 10

1. Are you married
2.are you financially stable
3.Are YOU emotional and physically READY(being pregnant Drains you! dont want to add to anything)
4.Are you really close to 30
5. Are you only doing it because you think you have to.
Let me tell you even if you waited too long there are MANY babies who were born in this world to parents who dont want them. those kids need love and family too. nothing wrong with that. it is sad to me all the children in the world innocent and sweet, with no one to love them, no one to call family.