Regarding fathers paying child support?????

Question

On my previous question, somenone answered, that the poor father doesn't get to see the kids, as much as the mom, and he is not a atm machine!

What difference does it make , regarding child support , how much time the father spends with the kids? They still need a roof over their head, and food on the table, and clothes on their back! My ex made a choice not to see his children much! So he shouldnt have to pay? That deosn't make and sense!

What's your opinion?

I told him ove and over he could see the kids all he wanted! Over the years, he only saw them on his weekends! That was his choice! Why should the kids suffer?

If the father doesn't want to see the kids more, you can't force him!

Of course, I don't mean all men!

NUNYA: My kids are 18 , and 24, so this isnt about revenge! After all these years of this child support issue, I was just asking opinions! So, shut your mouth, and go to a anger management class!

Edward: Great answer!

Hugh Jarden: My ex actually hates me, because he regrets, losing the best thing that ever happened to him!

Adelaidi: I never said I was hurting for money! No matter how much money I have, the kids still should be supported by the father too! I raised my children alone for many years, untill I remarried 3 years ago! So I am fortunate, that my new husband loves my kids, and thinks it's important to have a nice prom dress! He is a good husband, and stepfather, and he does more, for my kids than their own father! We feel this is a important time for my daughter, and we will do what it takes for her to experience it! For many years, it was just me and my kids! I worked through many jobs, and we did without alot, stayed in the same house. While my ex, remarried, and supports a stepdaughter, has bought many new homes, and my kids had to watch him spend a whole lot of money on his new family! They would leave my home, to go over to their fathers, and see all the new stuff, and would hear the stepdaughter brag about all her new things. My kids turned out great, and I wouldn't change a thing!

Answer 1

i didn't mean to say nor did i say that non-custodial fathers should not pay child support nor did any one else who answered the previous question. but you lumped every divorced father into one catergory- the hate to pay child support catergory. that is a very bitter and angry view of divorced men. i have an ex husband who works very hard to keep things good for the kids, but i don't ask for a monthly check. i am grateful to have the kids in my life, he is sad that he doesn't get to be a part of their every day life. you didn't ask for solutions or advice. you used your question to attack all divorced men. i gave you the take on how my divorce went and how i try to keep things good for my children. i try to be positive about what we do have. college can be paid for in many mays. if dad won't help there are many other options. go back to court, scholorships, grants, student loans. $600 on prom doesn't tell me you are in great need of cash, it tells me that you think you must live a certain lifestyle and you blame the father for what you cannot provide for the kids. if you would have asked the question how can i talk to my ex about paying for half or some of my daughters college education then i could have given you a different answer. and so would every one else. be grateful of the good things that you have.

Answer 2

Of course you were ready for this crowd to respond and i'll be with the most of the guys here. My ex and i have joint custody and she wouldn't go for the shared custody. Now i pay her huge amounts of money each month and my kids still were rags- so, this is normal for women to be all about the money. And you wonder why men ***** about the support. I can't afford to even invest into a retirement fund. I live in a 1 bdroom apartment and drive 6 yr old truck that is about to fall apart. Shared custody is what it should be! They are 50/50 for each of you so let the guy be the father 100%. I don't see my kids either except for the weekends that are mine- the other weekends i have to work a second job so i can pay bills! She doesn't have to do this! So really do you see why we guys fuss? I went to making 50k a year to only surviving off $7.50 an hour. She and the government takes an avg. of $12.50 an hour of my pay! so is this really fair? Kids don't take that much to raise!

Answer 3

There are so may layers in your question as divorce and child support is complicated. Bottom line by just reading this question is: You are right. I am a product of a divorce...Parents fought, divorced, sued for custody, mom got 50/50 and we lived witha wonderful mom who worked alot to give her young spoiled kids everything as she took away from herself. My father however had every chance to see us more and he didnt' he never really paid child support but my mother felt as disgusting as it way to not have participation, she wanted her girls to have there father around. He had issues-probably ego and he eventually did not pay or see us at all. I do not know what the situation is but If he was a lousy husband and a bad father, you are doing them good. If he was just a non compatable husband and a good father and you feel he is not retaliating and can't pay then as dumb and horrible to say, you need to do what is best for the kids and their relationship. The harsh reality is you are faced to find a way to take care of the kids anyway. If he is just a louse and has money and is retaliating, go after him and try not to take it out on the kids especially if they wish to see him and he is there. Single mothers always get the short end of the stick. Not that it matters now when the kids are young but when they are older and capable, the kids will remember the good and they will be there for you and life will be easier. You technically are 150% right. Problem is a child is not a playing piece so decisions are complicated. Your kids regardless will learn what the father was in or out of their life and they will understand later and make it up to you if you love your kids...

Answer 4

Child support should be set amount,either decided on between the two parents or by the courts.My ex and I have an agreement where I pay 20% of what I make in a week per child.I have two children with her and I still concider her boy my oldest son too.If I make say $100 a week,my two children get $20 each or $40 all together.I even give her some money for our oldest boy,even though I don't legaly have too.This has worked out fairly well for us.Perhaps it would work for you too.

Answer 5

You are right! It shoulden't matter how much you see your kids bacause regardles of whether or not you do, they still need funds to provide for them. If the issues is visitation, then it sounds like the father needs to take some intitiative and try to do that. I don't know if the same rules apply for all states, but in Arizona, the more time you spend with your kids the less you pay in support. All time is taken into consideration when determining how much support the non-custodial parent actually pays out. It is frustrating though when you have fathers who complain about having to pay support because they don't get enough time with their kids, but at the same time they don't make the effort. You can't take your children for granted because when they get older they WILL forget about you and remember the things you never did for them.

Answer 6

I really think you need to say regarding mothers and fathers paying child support .Why does everyone think its always just the woman that have there kids . You think its hard getting money from an ex husband try getting out of an ex wife that pays support . The reason you never hear men crying over support is we make our own money we work unlike woman that sit on there butt trying to squeeze every thing they can get out of a guy . It just sounds like that's the only reason woman take there kids is for the support.

Answer 7

i think what is unfair is the system that determines how much a non custodial parent should have to pay in support...yes children have expenses and the custodial parent shouldn't be responsible for carrying this financial responsibility alone...however, more often than not the courts are not interested in how the non custodial parent will live, get to and from work or pay their bills...many noncustodial parents end up having to take 2nd and 3rd jobs just to make their child support payments and I think that is a seriously screwed up system. and no parent should be responsible for financial support of a child that is 18 or older. At 18 a child becomes an adult in the eyes of the law and it's no longer a custody issue...it's an issue of the 18 year old getting a job like everyone else!


I'd like to add that I don't think the noncustodial parent neccessarily HATES paying child support, I think they hate being taken advantage of by an unfair system.

Answer 8

Didn't see your previous question, so I'm not familiar with your situation and/or the laws where you live.

The child support and custody/visitation should be established by the court system. Whatever the court decides is what the non-custodial parent is responsible for.

Now, if you (as the custodial parent) are denying the father his custodial rights/visitation as ordered by the court, he cannot willingly deny paying you the court ordered support but he could appeal the court to have his support reduced. The same might apply if you move (especially out of state) where it is not convenient for him to exercise his custodial rights. He can't consciously not pay what the court has ordered, but he can ask the court to modify the support order in light of the circumstances.

Answer 9

Ok there is a difference in making him take care of his responsibilities and looking to use the kids as a pay check. You can't force a grown person to do anything they don't want to...thus if he doesn't make the time to see his kids then thats on him...you should get child support. If he has always taken care of his kids and you put him on child support out of greed or because he wasn't paying you what you thought he should I say "shame on you" and he may not want to deal with you thus not dealing with his kids (I'm just saying if this is the case). As long as you aren't putting stipulations on what he can and can't do with his kids, then you are right, he should have to take care of his kids. No one gives themselves an F on a paper right, thus we won't hear what you are doing versus what he is!!! Good luck.

Answer 10

I think it's unfair to lump all men together to say they hate paying child support. My hubby has an 18 year old and a 16 year old that he pays child support for. He doesn't hate to do it, he knows it's the least he can do. His 18 year old got pregnant and married a year ago, and he worked out an arrangement with his ex wife to pay her portion of the child support directly to his daughter. Once she got married, I don't believe she was either parent's responsibility, but that hasn't stopped either one of them from helping out. OR me either, I bought her a car and paid for the repairs on it last year. So, to lump all men/fathers in one category is really putting a bad name to just some men. I'm sorry if this has been your situation.