lost my son in a car accident,6mths ago, he was 20yrs old,i cant get over it,i cry e/day,his dad,?

Question

he was a english teacher in korea, a car knocked him from his bike, my heart is broke, is there ever any light at the end of the tunnel ??

Answer 1

Im so sorry for your loss.... My friend lost her son 7 years ago, I dont think things will ever be the same for you again, I can tell you that the suffering does not go away, you just learn to deal with it as you live it each day. You need to find others in your situation and share your experiences, maybe you can find comfort with people that are going through the same emotions as you are.

Answer 2

You will never get over the loss of your son, but it will get easier to deal with as time goes on. Every person is different. You can't just say that in 6 months or 8 months it will be better. There is light at the end of the tunnel, though. The question is " how long is the tunnel?"

Answer 3

A loss like this is never easy! As a parent you expect to go long before your children! It will leave a hole in your life that will nver be filled!
I can understand to some extent the pain and loneliness you must be feeling!
However, your sons life was cut short! He obviously had a real zest for life! He wouldn't want you to spend any longer that necessary grieving! Get yourself out there and even try doing some of the things that he enjoyed doing! You will feel closer to him! Do some of the things you know he wanted to do but didn't get the chance!
Remember he is with you all the time! It is ok to stop crying you know, it doesn't mean you miss him any less!

I will pray for you and your family at this devastating time! My thoughts are with you! I hope that you can find some happiness in the days to come!

Answer 4

I am very sorry for your loss... a year and a half ago my sister lost her hubby he suffered a massive heart attack.. he was 28 they had 2 kids a 3 year old little girl and a 1 year old little boy. This devastated our entire family. Things were rough for about 6 months but we all adjusted the best we could. but it is still hard to look at the children and know they will never get to know their father but on the other hand I know that God has a plan for each of us and unfortunately some of us have loved ones to pass on quicker than we want them too. Time will help you but you will never heal completely he will always be in your heart just know that you will be with him again. Trust the Lord and he will see you thru anything. My prayers are with u.

Answer 5

I first of all want to say that i am sorry to hear for your loss of someone so young, What makes it worse is that he was so far away and not closer to you. It is such a sad time and no amount of words will feel that they are enough, I lost both my parents in a year and at the time felt very low but it does get easier in time although every person is different.
My heart goes out to you and maybe going to some form of help an organisation called cruise may be able to help.
I wish you well and you will be in my thoughts.

Answer 6

I can only imagine what life is like for you, it cant ever be easy saying goodbye to loved ones especially someone who is as young as your son,by the sounds of things your son was very bright and intelligent and obviously had a good idea of what he wanted out of life being where he was and doing what he was doing,The healing process might take 5 minutes it might take 5 years,A good friend of mines mother had recently passed away and he just wanted it over and done with as soon as possible because he just wanted to get past that grieving part,The fact of the matter in this case is that your not prepared to put it all behind you,Its not something that you can just turn your emotion off to at the end of the day,He was your son,You loved him as a father would and as long as you remember that the memory of your son will live long in your heart

Answer 7

It is very hard when someone you love dearly passes away, the hardest part is trying to accept it, get your head into some sort of order so many questions, anger, pain, shock its indescribable really.
If you feel you can you could speak to a counsellor I was told by my GP about our local Hospice you don't have to wait too long, as if you need it you needed it yesterday not months down the line.


I wish you all the best try & go to see a counsellor its not that bad honestly.


This is the poem we read at my Dear Dad's funeral 4 months ago.
I think it is beautiful?

The Broken Chain

We little knew that morning that God was going to call your name,
In life we loved you dearly,in death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone.
For part of us went with you, the day God called you home.
You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you, you are always at our side.
Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.

Take Care
Auntie

Answer 8

I am so sorry for your loss. I share some of your grief. My only child, a 3 1/2 year old son died in 1972, and it is not something I've "gotten over". My experience is that you learn to live with it. What has helped me the most, over the years, has been to help other people deal with similar losses, something many grieving people do. It helps both/all the people involved to continue healing. I have worked as a volunteer counseler at a camp for grieving kids and the kids who have lost parents, grand parents, siblings or close friends helped me as much as I ever helped them. After some time has passed you may be able to do something like that for others. Right now I would suggest that you find a group for sharing grief.

Over the years I have found out about various organizations, and resources that have become availabel to help people who have lost a child. Sadly, for my (ex)wife and I, such resources weren't as widely available 35 years ago.

Here is an organization and a book that might be of help to you -

Compassionate Friends - "A national self-help support organization, which assists families in the positive resolution of grief following the death of a child..."

After the Death of a Child: Living with Loss through the Years by Ann K. Finkbeiner

The following is an excerpt from a review of the book found on Amazon.com -

"Finkbeiner, a medical and science writer in Baltimore, lost her son, T.C. (Thomas Carl), in 1987 in a train wreck, when he was 18. Determined to learn what researchers had to say about the long-term effects on parents of a child's death, she found that data on the subject was sparse and focused mainly on recovery steps taken immediately after the death. So she placed an ad in the newsletter of a local chapter of Compassionate Friends, a self-help organization for bereaved parents....... The two main things she learned are that a child's death is disorienting indefinitely and letting go of a child is impossible."

I hope this helps. Please email me if you would like to talk, I will listen.

P.S. If you have partner or other children who are greiving try just holding their hand or holding them in your arms. NO WORDS ARE NEEDED! (Except to ask them for permission first).

Answer 9

My heart goes out to you, i can't comprehend the pain you feel. You should remember the good and happy times you had with your son and all the joy he brought to other people during his life. My dad died when i was a baby and my gran said she has never got over his loss, she said the pain changes from a raw hurt into a duller ache. You won't ever be able to forget your son but in time the pain will change into remembrance and this will make it easier to deal with. It may help to keep a diary of how you feel, write down the pain and anguish you are going through and how your feelings change over time. Talk to your partner and other family members don't bottle grief up as it can turn into bitterness and anger. My thoughts are with you.

Answer 10

I lost my little brother 4 years ago age 21, he died from a brain tumour. I`ve seen my parents go to hell and back. You will grieve and one day you will remember something about you son and you will smile. Although I only had 21 years with my brother I feel truly blessed for the short time I had him in my life. Give yourself time, you will never get over losing your son but you will accept what has happened at some point. It does get better, I promise. Four years ago I didn`t think I`d ever see my parents smile again, but we talk about my brother all the time and smile about his little quirks and some of the trouble he used to get into!! My thoughts are truly with you. Treasure your memories, he will always be with you xx