Is this reasonable?

Question

My 18-year-old son just graduated from high school a couple of weeks ago and has no plans to go to college but he's starting work soon and I just thought that it would be nice for him to start helping out with expenses. We pay for his part of the car insurance and his part of the cell phone. I don't think he has a problem with paying us for these. But when I suggested he help out with rent, he found that unreasonable. If you add the three costs together, it comes out to about $63.00 a week. If he's getting a paycheck each week of over $400.00, how is this going to hurt him? He thinks we're being mean. What do you think?

Minnie Pearl-- I actually did that.

Answer 1

Well, add up what his expenses would be if he lived on his own and then show him the comparison. Maybe that will make him realize what a bargain he's actually getting. Bottom line is: Your house, your rules.

Answer 2

Your request is not only 100% resonable, but I think the number is probably conservative. If anything, it would be "mean" to offer him perpetual childhood by giving him the impression that at 18 he still gets to live life as a 10-year-old. If he ever again finds himself in a situation where his living expenses equal just 16% of his income, he'll be a VERY lucky guy. An 18-year-old should have three choices, in my opinion: #1-Go to college full-time (and not help with living expenses if living at home), #2-Get a job and live at home (in which case, they pay their full share of living expenses) and #3-Get a job and move out. My folks presented these three options sometime in elementary school, so there was never a question about what would happen when I turned 18. Perhaps your error was in not making your expectations clear before now, but be that as it may, you've got to be firm on them now or you're going to find yourself with a 30-year-old child living at home someday. Push him out the nest - it's the most loving thing you can do! Good luck.

Answer 3

I think you are being more than generous with your son and very gently helping him with what will one day become stark reality! He will have more than enough money left over each week and in the real world, he would be paying at least six to eight hundred dollars a month to survive, just barely!

You are doing a good job in helping your son prepare for adulthood. He should apologize and take you out for a nice dinner =) !! Have a great week! Annie

Answer 4

I think it's reasonable to ask him for some help.

My sister was in the same situation (I'm the older brother and was in college already when she graduated high school). She decided to stay at home and start working. My parents started charging her small amount for rent, something very affordable, but would help her start to get used to the responsibility of paying rent. Every month they charged her $200. My parents opened a separate savings account in their names, and every month they put that money aside.

She lived at home until she was in her mid 20s. When she finally moved out, my parents gave her all of her money back and she was able to use that money towards a down-payment on buying a house.

My parents definitely didn't need her financial help every month with paying their mortgage, but they realized that my sister needed to learn how to be responsible and know what it was like to have rent due once a month, and that she couldn't spend all of her money partying with friends.

Answer 5

god no, that is totally fair, If he's gonna go out and make a living, he needs to be man enough to take on some responsibilities, if he wants to prolong childhood he needs to stick with school. frankly, he has now hit the time in life when the free ride is over....part of life, he will get over it, and I think by you giving him a little transition into paying bills, you will really be helpin him out in the long run!

I'm 22, no so much older than him so maybe having an opinion from someone around his age could help, I'm footing my bills, and have been since I quit school, but understand that its part of my responsibilities and make it all work! good luck!

Answer 6

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. You are just preparing him for the fact that one day when he is out on his own he will have financial responsibilities. It's not like you are sucking his paycheck dry. It would cost him a lot more money if he were out in the world on his own. Good job Mom!

Answer 7

It's not unreasonable at all. figure out how much he have to pay if he was on his own, and give that figure to him. Ask him if he rather pay that or the $63.00 a week. I bet you get the $63.00.

Answer 8

I think it would be good for him. He is an adult now and as one, needs to be responsible for his own life. Charging him a small rent is not at all unreasonable or mean. The real world will be, however, so he needs to prepare now. Good luck.

Answer 9

Yes, I think this is entirely reasonable. I gave my parents proportionate to my income a good deal more than that in keep when I got my first job!

Your son needs to understand the realities of budgeting before he sets up home as an individual, so you are doing him a favour by asking him for this contribution.

Good luck with this!

Answer 10

You're giving him a great bargain. Once he goes to work, he needs to start paying his share of everything - including the groceries and utilities - and NOT having him do so would be irresponsible. How else will he learn about the real world?

He better be glad he's your kid & not mine - I'm sure he ought to kick in more than $63 per week. ;-)