I've tried to move on and I have. I live in a different part of the country. I'm married and have children. But I still love my ex and I can't help but think that one day we will be together again. I'm not obsessed or anything....but I stillget butterfies when i think of himand especially when we chat every once in a while. Anyone in this position???? Help Please!!!!!
2007-06-04 05:44:08 · 10 answers · asked by 2ufrume 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like you got married too quickly after breaking up with your ex. And while it seems innocent now, chatting with a man you are in love with and who gives you butterflies is playing with fire and needs to stop.
When you catch yourself thinking or fantasizing about him, immediately replace that thought with something else. It could be what you want for dinner, what you're going to wear tomorrow, where you want to go on your next vacation, etc. Don't give yourself permission to dwell on him. You are married. You have a family. THink of why he's your ex. Often, after a relationship we tend to overlook the bad and focus on the good.
There might be a chance that you think about him because you are unhappy in your current relationship. If that is the case, you should work on spicing up your own marriage.
Good luck.
2007-06-04 06:01:26 · answer #1 · answered by Yogi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you're feeling. I am not married again like you but have been living with a great guy and he's asked me to marry but I can't - because I do feel I am not ready to get over my ex. And, I have secretly hoped to get back together with my ex, and this guy knows how I feel because I don't want to hurt him by not being honest. He says, in time I will be ready to give us a chance - I don't know. The problem I have is this has been my home town all my life and it's one of those small ones where everyone knows everyone. My boyfriend now wants me to move and try something different and I am so scared to do that. But, I am beginning to think that me and my ex will be better off when we can move on and not look back. But, I understand it's not easy. Your heart tells you one thing and your head another. Hang in there and be strong - that's what I am trying to do. It was good to hear that I am not alone. I get tired of people saying in time or just do this or that. No one knows what is best for another - but sometimes just having someone to talk to makes it easier.
2007-06-04 15:21:14 · answer #2 · answered by lovehurts 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been married to your current husband? What are your chats about? Does your current husband know of these chats?
Answer this: Who do you love more? Who would you be with if it was 100% your choice?
If it is your EX, then you owe it to your current husband to move on so he can find true love. UNLESS, you think you 2 can make it work through some marriage counseling.
Good Luck
2007-06-04 12:59:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im a guythat got dumped by my wife.How long has it been for you ? Is it a guy thing to wonder and worryabout her being intimate with another man ? I must be honest it gets harded and harder for me everyday.I miss what we had.I wake up every morning and hope she will contact me and tell me the things i want to hear,but that day neber comes.It been three months with little or no contact.You are obsessing like i am,its not a good place to be,it consumes all your energy and time,ithas taken a toll on my heath as well.I pray alot that god will bring us back together.I don't know if i will ever get past this...tell me more....
2007-06-04 14:05:40 · answer #4 · answered by Rodger M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know just how you feel. My ex and I have been divorced over 25 years and when I fantasize (as men are inclined to do) it is still of her occasionally. She is the great love of my life, and nothing will change that. However, I am adult enough to realize that there was a time and a place for us, and that time and place is now gone, never to return. You will probably find that is true for you, also.
2007-06-04 12:50:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you ever really cared for someone then part of that person becomes part of you. Don't feel guilty about those feelings. There is nothing you can do about it.
I started doing new things and kind of re-invented my life. Try pushing your boundries and do new things that are outside of your normal comfort zone. By doing this you will grow, and also make new friends. Eventually someone will come along and make you have "butterflies" again...:-)
2007-06-04 12:50:38 · answer #6 · answered by flyfish_777 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're comitted to your current marriage then you need to cut all ties with your ex, otherwise you're cheating emotionally on your husband.
If you're not happy in your marriage then get a divorce and then pursue your ex. But remember he may of changed as he grew older and you might not feel the same way now.
You're living off of old memories.
2007-06-04 12:51:09 · answer #7 · answered by Luv2RIDE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will always have a spot in my heart for my soon-to-be ex-wife no matter what she did to me. But I realize that what is in the past is in the past. She is contemplating life with her new soulmate (you have to love anthroposophists!) and I have come to terms with it.
2007-06-04 13:14:20 · answer #8 · answered by Scott O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your poor husband all about your feelings for your ex, and then get back to us with what his response was.
2007-06-04 12:49:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is he your "EX" if he is so great?
Try remembering the things that broke you two up.
2007-06-04 13:39:59 · answer #10 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋