I am trying for the past three months to accept my marriage is over,it all a blur,it happened so fast.I miss her so much.Why did she do this.The divorce will be final this week.She has moved on.She says she wants to be alone.She's a closet alcoholic.Hid it from me,before our marriage and during.Shes passive agressive in nature.I think the truth is shes found someone else but will she ever tell me the truth.I just wanted the truth.Shes very private and closed off.Im open and honest.She said we couldn't live together unless we were married,she didn't want to set that example for her son.We got married.What kind of example does it set when you file for divorce after only to years.I would have done anything to work it out.She says shes done,no more room in her heart for meno more second chances to give.Says her heart is hardened and closed off.Is this just a story or is she just saying this because she has found someone else.It kills me not knowing the truth and i think she gets of on it.
2007-06-04 05:35:57 · 8 answers · asked by Rodger M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Am i obsessed with this.I think i am and its driving me crazy.All i think about is her being with another man.I am now 300 mile away and have no contact with her.She changed her number and won't respond to emails.I have been to a divorce recovery workshop, private therapy and a shrink.Im going through all the emotions and depression following a divorce. Lots of pain and grief.I am told i am enmeshed in my wife,and it will be a very long hard road to get over this.M life is on hold.I am stuck in the past and know she has moved on and is long gone emotionaly.She is ice cold.Is this her defense.I know how much she loved me because she showed it in everyway.I just can't understand if you come to feel this way for someone how can it just go away like it never existed.Did she ever really love me or wasthis some game of hers.In all my years i have only broken up once.Every other time they dumped me.Is this my fault.Im a good looking,kind ,caring guy that would give you the shirt off my back.
2007-06-04 06:10:06 · update #1
No one can have a marriage by themselves. It really doesn't matter what her motives are she wanted out.
Do you really want to be with someone who can so easily move on and have a life without you?
Get some therapy for yourself so you can learn to accept what you can't change and help you move on.
2007-06-04 05:40:01 · answer #1 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope this will help you for you seem so sad.....but with saying that my Xter was a recovered alcoholic,for 10 years.....and our lives together were great...great kid...great family.and within a blur of a moment... well he met someone who , was married....but i always promised myself that if he ever touched the bottle again I would be gone and no looking back.....well sure enough his new girlfriend got him smashed every minute of the day....he left with her..as my daughter will put it Kicked us to the roadside...and the girlfriend left her 3 kids and husband.......so i started to take a good look at only ME.(and of course my daughter)....sure I did the transitions thing too...did it help NO.....not till I realized that only "I"could make it better for my daughter and myself.....no matter what!!!!!!!!......
you have to look deep inside and say are yourself Is she really worth all the hurt and pain she causes you.....
l have learned l love to fix everything......home, work and unstable people.....but not anymore...... l hold nothing back l no longer dispise my X but thank him for everything he showed me for what l do not want now.....l am much happier for it.....sure l had to change everything.....but over time you will grow and learn there is so much...........more than you ever once could imagine.....
one thing that worries me in your question IS SHE GETS OFF ON IT KNOWING SHE IS HURTING YOU ALL THE TIME........this is where they are very POWERFUL.......controlling you and loving every moment of the distruction she is causing you......so PICK YOURSELF UP AND GET YOUR SELF ESTEEM BACK......start only considering YOU.....Forget her evil ways.....do things just for you......MEET NEW PEOPLE......it is not that easy but get involved in stuff you would never imagine yourself doing.....laugh everyday,,,work out, even if it is just walking,,start LIVING for yourself.....act like she was never in your life, no matter how hard it is just no more emails to her cut her off totally......move into your new life and start to live for you and enjoy every moment
for today I know I am a good person having a great time......living life and yes it has been a journey.....but a good one so far...... :) remember to smile at everyone and peace bro
good luck with it all
you deserve it
2007-06-07 18:38:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/NC1Na
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
2016-04-26 18:02:14 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she's being honest, more or less, with you. She's done you a favor by leavin. Just be sure that if she is an alcoholic that you are a primary caregiver of your child.
Your child shouldn't be in the middle of her personal problems and deserves a more stable home then anything she can give~with the troubles and negative attention seeking of alcoholism.
It's hard to be the person left behind, but she's expressed that she's a troubled person. You deserve more than that. People have to help themselves in life, before they can help others.
2007-06-04 05:41:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes 2 to make a relationship work.
Sometimes you don't get the answers you want or need. You just have to accept that sometimes things happen for reasons you don't understand - and try to move on.
Get counseling, it'll help more than you can know.
2007-06-04 05:46:29 · answer #5 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will do no good to ponder over her motives. The outcome remains the same. I am sorry for you but take care of yourself, talk to a counselor, and eventually you may see that she brought many problems into your life and be glad that it ended after all.
2007-06-04 05:49:54 · answer #6 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You already know what you need to know and thats that the marriage is over. Like she did, you need to move on.
2007-06-04 05:55:06 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suspect that you are not telling the complete story.
What did you do to her?
2007-06-04 05:43:56 · answer #8 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋