can someone please explain in intricate detail how you dont become full of rage at people who try to control?

Question

you through intimidation?
i live in a neighborhood with antisocial, aggressive teenagers that hang around in gangs. they shout, argue and fight.
i hate them and find them very provocating,
and because i have bpd, struggle with rage and anger, when im out , they trigger my rage feelings and i get powerfull urges, to have a rage outburst..
i feel they infringe upon my life, and have some control over me because i feel frightened and intimidated by them..
im a 29 year old male with hardly any confidence,
and i need somebody to tell me howto react to them, how i should deal with them...
and no, i cant just move, because im on welfare, im waiting for therapy and never worked, but eventually i wanna\ move far away from the uk..
please. ive put alot into this question, and i would like some decent informative answers, even if i just get one good answer...please, you could be helping me save my life with your answer.
because im avoiding going out, because i dont no how to deal with

it , without fear ill go into an uncontrolable
rage while im outside when their there. i hate them and wish i didnt have
to live around them

Answer 1

By not leaving you're house, you're letting them control you. Not saying it's your fault, at all, but that is part of the problem. I feel for your unfortunate situation... however, you could move, but you'd probably end up in a similar situation. People pay a lot of money in rent/mortgages to be as far away as possible from these types of people. Unfortunately, you do not have that luxury because you don't have the money. May I ask why you don't have a job? Is it that you're bpd is so debilitating? What do you mean by "waiting for therapy"? are you on some kind of list? I really don't know how it works in the uk, since I live in the US, but here you would probably qualify for disability. There ARE places you can live that don't have such a gang influence, even on welfare (or disability) you just need to do a little research in finding them. You obviously have access to a computer, so you can do this research.

As far as your every day life, do the best you can to ignore them, remember, they are just kids. Call the cops on them.. anonymously of course, chances are since they are just punk kids, the cops driving by every now and then should get them to change their hangout place quickly. And don't encourage their behaviour by reacting. Walk quickly and look straight ahead, and try not to show signs of fear.

I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 2

This is how I feel everyday when I have to ride the subway to work. There are hordes of idiots milling about everywhere. There have been a couple of times where I HAVE gotten into a rage with random strangers. And you know what? It didn't solve a goddamn thing. It just made the rest of the day worse. So now when someone shoves me, or a gang of teenagers tries to rile me up, or if some drunk, rude bitchh is trying to goad me into an argument, or if someone tries to feel me up on the train, what I do is remind myself that no matter what, (1) I will never ever ever have any control over what other people do, or how they behave, and (2) It is not up to ME to teach them a 'lesson', and (3) karma will eventually give everyone their just desserts. Then, I take a deep breath, and walk away from the situation as best as I can, and I try to forget about it, because if I let it eat away at me for more than 1 minute, that's too much of my precious and valuable time wasted on trivial bullshitt.

Also, if these teenagers in your neighborhood are menacing and posing a threat to the community, you might want to file a formal complaint with local authorities.

Answer 3

Don't be intimidated and frightened. Find a hobby or an enjoyment that will keep your mind off of their frustrating antics. Try your best to ignore them. Don't let the teens OR your anger control you and your happiness. Find someone to talk to maybe- sometimes when i can't deal with things in life, I find it much easier to accept them when I can just talk to someone. Try to think of the teenagers as just background noise, or part of the landscape. Go to a coffee shop and talk to a good friend. Don't shut yourself up in your house- it willprobably make your frustration worse. Good luck, I really hope you feel better and find some help.

Answer 4

Teenagers normally hang around in gangs, shout, argue, fight. It's a natural thing. Sometimes they can be annoying, but mostly they aren't really evil or anything.

If they are purposely annoying u to make u mad, then that is one thing. But if they are just there makin noise and fighting with each other, then that is just normal.

I am still a teenager (nearly 19yo), but if I were older I think I would just ignore them and do whatever I wanted to do. Unless they are targetting u on purpose, then they probably wouldn't even take notice of u.

A couple of years ago I used to hang around and horse around with other kids...and I know we were noisy, sometimes cussin and fightin with each other. We never even thought of people livin nearby or that we might be annoying em. I'm thinkin maybe these kids around u might be like that too.

Answer 5

The best thing you can do is not act like you are intimidated around them, even if you are. Don't instigate anything either, just walk by with your head up trying to ignore them. Talk to your social worker, and tell them what you are experiencing, they may be able to put a rush on a visit to a therapist. Good luck.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

The Lord says to pray for those who spitefully use you. You can hate their sin, but you must love them as people. Can you separate them from their sin? This is what you must do.

Ask God to come and change their hearts so they will be kind and considerate toward others. Ask God to save their souls.

Ask God to give you confidence to handle their remarks and ask God to use you as a vessel to save them from eternal hell.
Get up each morning and say, "God give me a young person today so I can save their soul and show them love."

Ask the Father, "Lord have mercy upon me and take this rage and anger from me. Give me a forgiving heart and a loving heart. Let me see these young people as you see them."

Answer 8

When people provoke me like that, I have to really come back in the house, and give all of my anger to God, through Jesus,..as They tell me I am to forgive those who do spiteful things to me...and as hard as it is to do sometimes, I always feel better afterwards, and I thank God, that I have Him in my life, and pray for those that don't...who go about angry like that and intimidating, all day long.