Any women with low sex drive? Or is this just abnormal?

Question

I am a female in my late 20's. Alot of my friends have high sex drives, but I have never really placed a high importance on sex. My drive is really low. The usual time when it picks up is when I have a lot of free time on my hands (usually I'm busy), and during the time of the month when I am supposed to be conceiving.

My man is adventurous all the time, but I'm only that way some of the time.

Is this abnormal? Are there any other 20something or 30 something females who feel the same way? I feel really alone in this.

No. I'm not on the pill. I just never placed a high priority on sex in a relationship.

And I don't want to change myself for someone else. I wonder if there are guys who feel the same way I do.

Answer 1

Sex drive differs for each woman. Unless something has changed dramatically, I suspect your drive is normal for you.
I would either work things out with your partner, so you're both fulfilled or find someone, who shares your own needs.
I would also have a check-up with your doc., & see if all is well with your body. Thyroid problems can lead to low sex drive.

Answer 2

many people feel this way, for one reason or another. I hate to have to be the one to say this, but sex is important in a committed relationship. if you and your partner aren't meshing on the idea, something has to change. generally, men have fairly high sex drives unless something is wrong, physically or emotionally. women, not so much. some women like it, some women hate it, and some just don't care either way.

you and your partner have to reach an understanding. if it's really important to him, and you just don't care, but you want to be together, you have to set some rules for your time together. he may want it every day, and you may not want it any day. but you have to be able to accomodate each other. and remember, the longer you've been in a committed relationship, the frequency may lessen, but the enjoyment is greater.

you don't have to change for your partner. you have to change for you. you wouldn't have posted if this wasn't an issue for you. if it's causing a rift in your relationship, have a talk with your partner. find out, honestly, how important it is for him. and rate importance for yourself. if you want to be with him, you'll have to make some sacrifices if there's a big difference there. allow yourself to enjoy the idea, get worked up over, and show some enthusiasm for it. sex is a wonderful thing with someone you love. focus on the moment, on the way it makes you feel. see if you can separate yourself from everything going on and just enjoy it. it changes things when you're not focused on what's going on outside the bedroom.

if you decide you can't hold your end of the deal, break it off with him. and look for someone who leans more towards your own personal drive. one thing is for sure, if it's a problem, someone has to change. or the whole situation will change. (and men tend to linger when they don't feel they're getting the attention they want or need. no offense to guys, but as a general, it's true!)

Answer 3

yes a lot of women and men do feel this way at some time in there life, men less so but still, how ever a lot of people don't make sex important wich you say you don't, you should find and make time, maybe a long weekend away, think about what you would really enjoy, fantasies and such, think about getting a few toys there is no harm in this and its not a bad thing even if some do frown upon it, its good, another thing that some people do is because guys will be like you say is send them a sourcy e-mail while they are at work they read it and when they get home even if your not in the mood any more you still have to go though with it really and he will make you! so if you do this regually you will begin to enjoy it more and more, get up and join him in the shower, spend more time in foreplay a lot of people don't do it enough aim for at least 20 mins before having sex its hard but you'll enjoy it more, try new things, really it might seem odd, but if your willing to do new things he will love it as well as make you feel good, trust me and also try in the morning doing it yourself but don't go all the way stop just short of orgasam it can make you feel horny all day and when he is sitting there, you should eat only a light meal before hand you don't want to bog yourself down, one saturday relax and innitate, take control, don't let him so you can play things out how you want, you might find it more fun if you do what you want. oh and don't be afraid to tell him what you want, because guess what, he'll love it too

Answer 4

I think a lot of women feel the way you do. They just don't want to admit it. I think a lot of things can cause the low drive, stress is a big one. Being busy or really active. I watched an oprah show, that i don't normally watch but it caught my attention because it was about a show of a women who had low drives and most of them preferred a back rub to sex. I think it is harder for women to actually climax so that it seems like a waste of time for some I imagine or they just don't like the long constant pounding that men feel they need to last hours to actually be a "man" You're not the only one out there. just know some women would never admit that especailly not to their man.

Answer 5

You are not alone on this one. Everyone's sex drive is different for different reasons. To me, it would seem that yours is "low" because you are busy all the time. Stress really does lower your drive to do anything, especially sex. Try coming home and immediately relaxing. Leave your stress of work and so forth outside. Drink and glass of wine if you like. Have your man give you a massage, or just sit and wind down with him. Try taking a bubble bath, and if you can convince him to join, then do!! Maybe the more sensual and relaxing things you do with your man when you are together, the more you will want to have sex with him.

Or the alternative, become more adventurous. Try new sex toys, new positions, go get a sex book at a book store and mark pages of things that look like you would like and try them.

Good Luck and I hope some of this helps. Just remember you are very normal and not alone.

Answer 6

It's normal.Most woman wouldn't admit it that's all. I have a low sex drive now in my late 40's.Sex is good but you don't want or need it every day/3 times a day. That's just something woman do usually to snare a man.Unless your married and then it becomes something special.
Sex is over used and used in the wrong way.With all the publicity about sex everyone thinks there is something wrong with them if they don't want it as much as everyone else does but in fact if they were honest they would tell you...There's more to life and happiness as well as Love than sex.

Answer 7

Everyone is differemt. So you may be perfectly normal.

You also may not have experienced "good" sex, so you assume sex is boring, a waste of time, whatever. If you have a good relationship with a good sex partner, discuss what makes you feel good and ask him to help you enjoy sex more. I'm not suggesting weird sex, just nice relaxed, "let's enjoy our bodies together" sex.

And if you find you don't like even that, then find some other activitiy you and your significant other can enjoy. I hear bowling and golf are fun.

Answer 8

Every one's sex drive is different. You don't have to change but you do need to be open to your partners needs. Many women have a higher sex drive right before their period starts, I think it's due to blood flow to all the right places. Communication with your partner is the key.

Answer 9

Well good for you, no girl or guy should base the relationship on sex or sex alone, just take your time and dont rush things, if your man does love you or care for you and your feelings he will be patient with you, You just stick to your studies and your school and keep going! You have feeling and guys do to, my self i dont just base my relationship on sex, i base it on everything else!!

Answer 10

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Thanks, and good luck.