My husband and I have been married for 3 years. He is a Malayalee and I am white. His parents are Pentacostal Christians as am I but we had issues with is family from the beginning. They never supported our marriage. About a month ago we were dealing with somethings his parents said about me. I was offended and he took their side. He told me he was going to speak with them in person (we live in Oklahoma and they live in Michigan) and he would be back in a few days. He never returned, he changed his address, and quit his job by e-mail. He will not speak to me or answer my phone calls, text messages or e-mails. I know that many people will say I should divorce him but as a Christian I feel that is the wrong thing to do.
Also I have heard from some people he worked with that he may have been on singles websites at work and that he may have gone to New York to see someone. I really need some advice about what to do. Anyone who is a Malayalee Christian might have some insight about this.
2007-06-04 04:01:15 · 22 answers · asked by pigweed4christ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Im not a Malayalee Christian but I am a Christian and i know that God does not want any of his children mistreated and hurt. I got divorced because my husband was abusive, i was 5 months pregnant when he beat me up so i left and he tried the whole divorce is a sin thing but i knew that God wanted me to be safe and happy. I prayed for a certian sign when the right man came along and about two years later he sent me the perfect man. Im now re-married and 5 months pregnant. Some times God puts people in our lives to test our faith in Him so pray about it and ask for a sign and please get rid of that no good man. If he abandoned his wife in the first place then he wasnt a very good Malayalee Christian to begin with right? And you want to be married to a man that truly shares your faith! Good luck!!!!
2007-06-04 04:09:21 · answer #1 · answered by marinewife 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am not a Malayalee Christian but I would like to offer some advise. You know life is not always fair. For whatever reason your husband decided he does not want to be married to you anymore. You cannot make someone love you and by the same token you cannot get them to stay if they have made the choice to go. IOne sentence in your question really struck a chord with me and that's where you said you were having some problems and he took his parents side over you. That had to really hurt but it also says something about him. And then he just left and never came back. In my opinion he is too immature to be married. You are much better off without him. You can start fresh now and I pray you can put this all behind you. You need to be a little more selfish now. You need to start putting yourself first. I hope everything works out for you. You sound like a very nice person. Seashell
2016-05-21 01:07:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet heart it's time you face facts... your husband abandoned you. He did not have the support of his family backing your marriage. Most likely because of the cultural differences.
Sometimes even a good Christian has to sever the ties and seek a divorce. He has made it pretty obvious that he doesn't want any contact with your....
So suck it up and file for divorce so you can move on with your life. Then Pray for guidance from God on where your life should take you.
Good Luck
2007-06-04 04:10:05 · answer #3 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Born Again Christian or Catholic? Can you contact him and ask him if there is adultery, because then you want a divorce? would he be honest about it? Sounds like they don't know anything of Chrisianity, or they would tell him to go back to his wife. Why in the world would he simply leave you? isn't there 2 sides of every story? There is no divorce except for adultery. God calls us to live in peace, so be at peace. Talk to a good pastor, because you cannot go from husband to husband.
2007-06-04 04:19:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dearest friend, i know it not easy and yes as christians the bible does not encourage us to devoice our spouses unless it on the ground of adultery.
But it looks as if your guy is no longer interested in you. if he loves you that much he would not have taking side with his parent and abounded you like that but rather he will talk to the parent and convience them to accept you. for all you may know the parent has find another woman for him.
You dont deserve such a looser. Try to move on with you life. Maybe he was not the right person for you. the right man is on his way. have patience and wait on the Lord and never cease to pray since you are a christian. stay blessed.
2007-06-04 04:16:29 · answer #5 · answered by spankybee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
See a divorce attorney. How would you feel if he is already living with another woman, having sex with other women and maybe has impregnated another woman? Would you forgive him? Would you take care of another woman's child? I hate to say this, but you married a man who does not love you. He doesn't even like you. Even an enemy would return a phone call.
2007-06-04 04:50:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just get the divorce and move on with your Life there is no need to be caught up in a life you have to question from day to day. Get a divorce and Find someone who will make you happy.
2007-06-04 04:34:41 · answer #7 · answered by sm_ie2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It looks to me like he decided to abandon you. Which isn't very christian from him and it's not very christian of his family to leave you in this situation.
From what you said, I strongly believe he had planned this for quite some time and leaving to speak with his family was just an excuse. And now you're left with the accomplished facts.
First off, how long has he been gone? A few days? Weeks? Months? That should be a clue if he's going to come back or not. If it's been a week or two, he might just pop back in your life. Longer? He's probably gone for good.
Two, if he does come back, don't crawl to ask him to stay. How dare he abandon you like that?!? Show some self respect, some backbone, especially if you have children. What will they think if their father feels free to abandon them and their mother can stand up for them and for herself?
Three: if you recieve any legal papers DON'T SIGN ANYTHING!!! Talk to a lawyer first. Even if he comes home and cajoles you to sign without reading. Even if he starts yelling at you or if he starts getting physically violent DON'T SIGN!
Three, you may not believe in divorce, but it's not as anti-christian as it sounds. But before going to those extremes, have you spoken with a priest? I don't know what is generally accepted by Malayalee Christians, but you're not the first person to be abandonned by their spouse. Try to find out more precisely what could be expected from you in this situation.
Finally, let's talk about divorce.
It's usually not the only available option to two people who separate. I'm from Canada and here it's possible to get a "bodily separation". It states that spouses are in a deadend at the moment and need some time apart. It allows you to be assigned some posessions like the house (or living wage), states which objects are yours personnaly and stops the other person from accessing your bank acocunts and salary.
But divorce, as it is conceived at the moment, is simply a legal statement that you two no longer constitute a single entity. In our days, it is mostly a measure of protection for women who are generally vulnerable and depend on the good will of their husband who brings the income and usually puts everything in his name (cars, houses, bank accounts, etc.)
Many husbands who leave their wives and start pursuing other woman (which is apparently the case of your man, backed with his family) are usually the ones to make the first move, That's in hope of getting rid of the old partner and move back in, acting like their first wife never even existed.
But, on the christian side. It's not really a sin. It might become one if you stay married and start dating someone else at the same time. It might become one if you divorce AND THEN try to marry somebody else.
It really depends on two things : would Jesus really condemn you for divorcing a man who abandonned you because his mama told him to, who left to commit sins of the flesh with women of little virtue? And two: do you want to be a victim for the rest of your life? To weep for a man who doesn't respect you or his vows to The Lord? To depend on someone else's mood to decide to be happy? To be the sadden wife and be pitied by the people around you?
Or do you want to stand up? Do you want to make a life on your own? To accomplish things by your own two hands? To show the example? To prove the world you're not helpless and can take care of yourself?
Whatever you decide, just don't live your life for somebody else. Live it for yourself.
God Bless, gal...
2007-06-04 04:55:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your marriage was dead from the beginning. u knew his parents would be difficult from the start. and he always took his parents side, thats nothing new to you. so do not act surprized. NO INSIGHT NEEDED. your not going to fix this,since he made this phyical move in his head more than a year ago. it just took this long to gather his courage for it.
WE ALL HEAR UR PAIN. but for what. U PICKED HIM WRONG. Learn from it and end it.
2007-06-04 04:21:54 · answer #9 · answered by metrolife2000 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well u could try to make an effort and contact him and just try to talk to him, tell him about u guys reklationship and if he wants to continue ti... If he doesnt maybe u should divorce himm... i respect every1s religions but i belive nobody should have their life wasted cause of a man.... If things dont work out plz move on.... u will thank me for this advice someday
good luck!
2007-06-04 04:06:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋